Sufferer How Do I Save This Mess I Created?

[Cufflinks]

It sounds like she needs space to breathe and will need ongoing "proof" that you're making effort to get help.

Thank you for your kind words. Unfortunately, this appears to be terminal.

There's still real anger being directed at me and I'm definitely being blamed personally. I've had 3 months of hell with this and have been pushed away and totally rejected. She knows that I'm getting treatment now and have more to come. She says that it's too late. I fully intend on seeing the treatment through. Why wouldn't I?

Part of me says it's for the best. Part of me just wants it to be sorted. I can't help thinking that it will be easier when I'm on my own. This forum has helped save my life when I was at my lowest. I'm a lot stronger now and the therapy is starting to sink in.

Tonight is horrible. Lots of packing going on. Tomorrow will be like the end of the world.

 

[KP the nut]

(((Cufflinks))), you are in my thoughts. Remember to breathe.

 

[Whitneys story]

(((((((((((((((Cufflinks)))))))))))))))

Likely it is foggy, please take care of you. The forum has huge shoulders. Let it out. We understand the rough parts which get harder before they get better. They will get easier though. Behemoth Hugs, Whitney

 

[myvetswife]

I fully intend on seeing the treatment through. Why wouldn't I?

That is very good thinking!!

Tomorrow will be like the end of the world.

Although it will feel like it, it will not be.

Cufflinks, there is a lot of sunshine out there! It will come back, after winter is gone! ((Cufflinks))

 

[Cufflinks]

They're gone.

Howling.

 

[myvetswife]

((Cufflinks)) let it all out! You got the right to do it!

 

[Abstract]

So sorry Cufflinks. I can hear how painful this is for you.

 

[Livy's Mom]

(((((((Cufflinks)))))))) Please take a hug from me

 

[Whitneys story]

Cufflink, Many hugs for your pain. I am holding your hand if that is ok!

Your children are not gone, they need you even more now. Using the time apart for your healing in between will be beneficial for what is to come.

For the children it is difficult to go through this change. They need validation that they have not caused it. That they are in your heart always. Children are much wiser than we give them credit for. If their mother applies the blame game, they will slowly see through her actions.

She is in denial, and I am so sorry that she does not see how this will affect the children. The hardest part is we can only control our changes. She is accountable for hers.

Sending you strength and clarity. Please know you are not alone. :hug: Whitney

 

[Cufflinks]

I am holding your hand if that is ok!

Thank you.

That's exactly what I need right now.

 

[Cufflinks]

I have a couple of problems that I need advice on.

My T is currently dealing with anger management with me. I told her that since this blew up 3 months ago I haven't been very angry at all. I've felt too shocked to get angry. She seems puzzled by this. However, I've been trying to remain as calm as I can, breathe, empathize and generally count to 10 before saying anything and am basically trying to follow the advice I've been given. Doesn't this show that I'm progressing.

My T has also said that with my wife leaving so recently she would not recommend going to the next stage of opening up the original trauma at this time. I presume she's referring to CBT but as I'm starting to feel again I would have thought it was a good time to start this.

 

[myvetswife]

To open up the original trauma you really have to be stable otherwise it will turn out to be the opposite of what you want to achieve.

With the anger management. Are you really not angry? Or do you push it back down? That would not be a progress. If you really calm down, then yes. My opinion.