How flexible to be in private lessons?

[SeekingAfrica]

I have a private lesson teaching English to a kid today.
I have had 2 kids so far but most of them were operating on assumption that you come regularly or you call on time if you do not.

I get that if you're a kid you may get sick last moment, that's fine. But the new kid was sick all last week and it wasn't a sure thing she's coming until one hour before coming... And because my mother iis teaching her math before me, she got annoyed with me wanting to call confirm her coming 2 hours before the class since she has a toddler.

Personally I actually prepare for my lessons (try to have a lesson plan or at least some structure to what we do) and it really throws my day of balance to spend time preparing the kitchen for teaching and getting myself ready for a lesson that may not happen. Also I am really anxious with work and the way I got through that was by putting structure in my day and knowing what am I mentally preparing to do and what I am not.

I know its not the most efficient but- I was given this job out of no where with no planning, no chance to prepare and no opportunity to work on my anxiety. So the way I cope is having a routine like 90min beforehand to get my mental health state to where I can teach and not be a shaky mess. I know there are jobs where all you do is just react to whatever is happening, genuinely happy I'm not at one of those. Getting better, but in the meantime...

Who needs to adapt? Do I need to adapt to not knowing if I'm teaching and just lose time assuming that I am? Rather than be unprepared if I am actually teaching? Or should I just affirm my boundaries as teacher and ask if it's okay that they call at least 2 hours prior? I'm really asking... Today they called 1 hour before and because they didn't I felt like it wasn't happening, and although I can wrap up a lesson plan easily, physically I feel shaky with nerves- it's a new girl, unlike the other lessons it's in the evening.. I know I'm overly anxious about work but this is what I'm working with... I have been job hopping different things this year because of health and then moving and I think the lack of stability makes every job feel like 100x more important than usual...



Or can I somehow improve the anxiety part before actually getting to professional help?

 

[Ecdysis]

Most places I have appointments at have a policy of "Either you cancel with 24 hours notice or you pay for the appointment if you cancel later than that"

Given they are kids, you could adapt that a bit to 12 hours or 5 hours or 3 hours, whatever you think is reasonable and would work for you.

A normal English teacher would fill that time slot with another student, so as not to lose income, so the kids' parents have to accept that if this is someone's job then there are going to be rules attached, to make it work.

I would be up front about this, so that people can make a decision whether they will accept the rules, or not.

 

[Midnightmoon]

Most places I have appointments at have a policy of "Either you cancel with 24 hours notice or you pay for the appointment if you cancel later than that"

Yep, completely this. Vast majority of places have at least a 24 hours cancellation policy... Perfectly normal and acceptable to confirm with people the day before/ morning off to stop the uncertainty

 

[barefoot]

operating on assumption that you come regularly or you call on time if you do not.

I think this would be the most common and reasonable assumption - that someone is coming to the appointment/lesson at the agreed time or they let you know if they are not going to be coming at that agreed day/time that week.

I think hanging on for them to confirm if they are coming, or to confirm either way, feels unnecessarily complicated, inefficient and quite stressful (I would find it very stressful and frustrating too)

So, I think it's for you to decide what your cancellation terms are and then to clearly communicate that up front when you take new pupils on. It's quite common across different sorts of work that at least 24 hours is required otherwise the time will be charged (or 50% of the fee or whatever will be charged) Some have 48 hours. If you want to offer more flexibility to reflect that your 'clients' are kids so maybe more prone to getting sick more often etc, you can do that. So, you could reduce the number of hours notice to whatever works or have it more like on the day cancellations need to be communicated by 9am on the day or whatever.

It's your work, so you can really decide what you want your cancellation terms to be.

I have cancellation T&Cs for my business....though I do hold it flexibly. Just because my T&Cs state that I will charge the full amount if less than 24 hours notice is given, I don't always charge (legit last minute sickness or personal emergencies etc - so long as it's not a recurring pattern) But having a clear policy, which I give all new clients and discuss with them from the get go, no one can be surprised if I do invoice them.

Sounds like you have already started teaching this pupil, so it's not now about giving them your T&Cs upfront as you are past that point. But you can still do that now with them. You can just say that you have been reviewing your T&Cs/business admin or whatever, or that you have made the decision to formalise agreements about working with you so that everything is nice and clear and no one gets any surprises because these things hadn't been clearly communicated...then just outline your expectations re cancellations etc.

If you do that and this parent or whoever pushes back and says that doesn't work for them...well, you can have a conversation about it and see if the pair of you can reach an agreement that works for both of you. If not - you'll need to decide whether you want to carry on as is or let them know that they will need to find another tutor.

I think there's room for clarity around ways of working together that feel better for you than the current set up...while also having some flexibility within that framework.

Good luck!

 

[Friday]

As someone who spent their entire childhood in private lessons, and half of my adulthood arranging private lessons? It’s entirely up to the person providing lessons. Most? Don't expect sick kids to show up, until they start showing up, again. The first notice = lessons suspended. Then a call when they are to resume. But that’s 50/50, as parents are almost always more hopeful about how soon their kids will be well than facts, and only about half of them are pragmatic enough to wait until they’re actually well.

 

[arfie]

Or can I somehow improve the anxiety part before actually getting to professional help?

this very post could be a very good example of how i do exactly that. even when i am working with a professional, consulting with my peer supporters is a most excellent anxiety management tool. a) i can't expect any pro, no matter how astute, to know everything. b) when it comes to the anxiety producers of business, it pays to get more than one opinion.

my contracting was never with children, but i give each of my clients highly customized treatment. an efficient, motivated client gets entirely different treatment than a forgetful, flighty client. i keep the treatment respectful, but each case is customized. i hold that calling ahead of time is highly appropriate for the forgetful, flighty clients. many of them thank me for the reminder.

may i tack on a reminder to be gentle with yourself and patient with the process? the more important the job, the more important it is to sing like you don't need the money. easy does it, tiger. ya gots to come from the heart if you want it to work.

 

[Lost in the Woods]

Maybe do what many medical practices do, send a confirmation text requiring a confirmation to keep the appointment. So when you are 2 hours or maybe earlier, send a text. Since you only have one problem client it would not be too difficult.