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EvenStrongerNow
Diamond Member
Update: Hubby admitted he believes he is terrible at conflict, that he is afraid of change and is realizing that he has stopped growing.
The past few nights, we have been reading a chapter out of How To Fight Fair together, praying beforehand and he came up with an idea. To sit for 15 minutes each night and discuss anything bothering us so resentments don't fester.
Last night, there were a couple of things I told him about that he, for the first time was able to say, "Oh. I'm starting to see what you are talking about. Those are my hang ups, not yours. I'm going to try to work on them. I see them but I don't know where they are coming from. Maybe it could be childhood."
He was also able to let me know how it frustrates him when I try to push him after he asks me to stop. Things in regards to when we are doing something like researching for a book or how to fix some software etc. he says his stress levels get high and he has to take a break but I often don't hear him and keep pushing by googling to find the answer and I keep talking about it.
That was good that he could tell me. He is a lot more passive than I am. But then his anger comes out in other ways by not telling me. He is only passive with women though. He grew up with very controlling women that made him feel small so I need to keep a cap on that.
I am very excited about all of this. I'm very grateful that we are getting on the same page.
The past few nights, we have been reading a chapter out of How To Fight Fair together, praying beforehand and he came up with an idea. To sit for 15 minutes each night and discuss anything bothering us so resentments don't fester.
Last night, there were a couple of things I told him about that he, for the first time was able to say, "Oh. I'm starting to see what you are talking about. Those are my hang ups, not yours. I'm going to try to work on them. I see them but I don't know where they are coming from. Maybe it could be childhood."
He was also able to let me know how it frustrates him when I try to push him after he asks me to stop. Things in regards to when we are doing something like researching for a book or how to fix some software etc. he says his stress levels get high and he has to take a break but I often don't hear him and keep pushing by googling to find the answer and I keep talking about it.
That was good that he could tell me. He is a lot more passive than I am. But then his anger comes out in other ways by not telling me. He is only passive with women though. He grew up with very controlling women that made him feel small so I need to keep a cap on that.
I am very excited about all of this. I'm very grateful that we are getting on the same page.
