• 💖 [Donate To Keep MyPTSD Online] 💖 Every contribution, no matter how small, fuels our mission and helps us continue to provide peer-to-peer services. Your generosity keeps us independent and available freely to the world. MyPTSD closes if we can't reach our annual goal.

I dont care anymore

Status
Not open for further replies.

Sanctuary

Confident
Can i post?

Everyone telling me to do Ptsd treatment now when my brain is telling me its nor the right time and i should weather the storm. My dad is having more stents put in his heart tomorrow. Everyone is against me thinking they know best. They don't understand the next thing will put me over the edge and I will dead.

I've got no one

I should of died at the time of trauma, that was my destiny

Why did God bother to keep me alive for 23 years after just to live in hell?
 
Because he wanted me to sacrifice my soul and put a rapist away for 9 years at the old bailey to stop him from breaking into other women's housings and killing them. I'm told get over it.
 
I woke up screaming yesterday day thinking someone was in my room. Nobody comes. To be attacked whilst your sleeping bed by a rapist who broke in the house never leaves you. You're never safe
 
Sounds like you're pretty upset. Is there anything you can do right now to distract yourself away from those suicidal feelings?
Probably put ahead torch on and look at my frogs in my pond. They are healing, HOpe and mean a new life. Im crazy at the moment. I agreed to give up valium in January to have EMDR treatment which i have, But my dad had a heart attack, my cat died, my aunt died and other things are going on. I'm messed up.
 
Hey, I’m glad you reached out on here. What happened to you sounds awful and I agree feeling safe must be near impossible thought. It must be even harder when your dad is going to be having an operation tomorrow- makes symptoms worse, even though they already may seem unbearable. You mention the Old Bailey so I guess you are in the UK. If you need to talk to someone in person about suicidal thoughts I really recommend the Samaritans, they not just there if you are suicial but in any distress, which it reads like you are. Their number is 116 123 and on website you can text them. Not that I don’t want to welcome you here... Welcome :D but if those suicidal thoughts with the you tubing of how to complete the act come back- talk to them- they can help. All the best. You didn’t deserve what happened to you and hope you find some information which can help here
 
Last edited:
I just tried to sleep but I feel like I'm going mad. What was I doing this eve? The truth. For the last 7 years or more the lady who lives below me who has learning disabilities has had a mice infestation. I was emailing the MP with pictures of human feces she has left in buckets in the garden and pictures of rotting food that is alive with flies. Pictures of dead mice from her flat and the rat that has spread from her compost bin to next door. I'm at my wit's end as learning disabilities, did nothing!. I'm so frustrated at flies coming in my flat as I live above her. I asked her to remove the rotten food, she said tomorrow and it was never done. This is how my life turned out, what happened?
 
That sounds like a horrible living situation, both for you and the lady- she’s obviously not managing. Have you rang county council and asked to speak to environmental health or social services and raised it as a safeguarding issue as perhaps she does not have the capacity to understand the danger the infestation can cause herself or others? Just a thought?

Especially if there is buckets of human faeces. With the evidence you have the lady is not coping and social services have a duty of care- or at least assess her needs
 
Yes. All has been done, learn dis and Clarion housing were served with a 14 days notice from Environmental health. The rat was reported in 11th Dec 2018 to learn dis and nothing was done. It had spread to my next door neighbor who had to pay for rat removal. Each says it is the other responsibility. Environmental health will be visiting me any day now to look at the feces, flies and rotting food in her back garden below my window above. This is why it's escalated to MP in London.

Is it any wonder I'm now nuts in the head. ?

I've agreed not to take any valuim since December as I have EMDR treatment coming up. Not being allowed to have any pain killers for degenerative disc disease in my spine during treatment as I'm told it messes with the way the brain processes trauma and everything else has lead me to believe that as I only get one shot at the treatment that I am setting my self up for failure.

I'm already on my knees with my mental health feeling suicidal. Now they want me to be in physical and mental pain to do the treatment on top of this. I'm not making excuses I'm focused on giving my self the best chance of success by weathering the storm first. If I miss two treatment in a row I'm kicked out!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top