Sorry to hear you are going through so much. I know that I put my wife through alot of hardache as well. As a Desert Storm vet, I can say that I really feel for your fella, I can relate to alot of the things that you have described about him. I have resulted to driving a taxi, because I set my own hours and use to be able to make pretty good money. Of course as of late, the business has not been so good. It gets harder and harder to work the hours needed to make the money I have made in the past. When I came back from the war, I had these dreams, and then I met this woman who became my wife, and the dreams seem to go away for awhile. As time went on, my health began to crumble. It was harder and harder to sleep, making it harder to be on time for work. I went through job after job, being fired for being late. It got to the point that I started taking out on my wife and kids. The anger took hold. The anger from wanting to be better, to not be sick, to be able to do the things that I use to do. I have such a hard time to even lift my 8 year old.
It is so trying on my self image. I am weak, tired, uninvolved. I can't stand to go out into the daylight, the sun hurts my eyes so bad. It is not real anger though, it is fear and emotional pain that causes the anger. He isn't mad at you, even though it may seem that way all the time. He does not mean to belittle you, he only tries to do waht he remembers knowing. When I found out that I was actually sick (suffering from ptsd as well as organic brain syndrome ) I began to get help. Anger management was first, I had to get control of my emotions somehow. Part of what I learned in anger group was that I am not alone, and that I am not truely angry. Anger is an emotion brought forth from other emotions, usually fear or hurt feelings. In the army they train you to keep yourself in check, but when you leave the army, and try to re-establish a civilian role in the world, it is quite hard to find your place again. No one thinks like you, everyone is a crybaby, everyone is retarded. I have struggled for so many years trying to not just lash out at people that it has drained so much happyness from my life. I would rather stay in the house where I do not have to deal with the public and the ways they think.
Anyway, the things that I have done to keep my emotions at bay, are these: I have began a hobby that requires a calm mind, I build dioramas for star wars figures. It gives me something to do and keeps my mind off "other things". Also I have learned to play the guitar, and have begun recording my own album. It is frustrating, and tasking alot longer than I had thought, but it is worth it. I create something from my heart and put it pout there for others to enjoy. For me, the hardest part of the whole thing is admitting that I can no longer do it all by myself. I cannot remember things that I need to remember, I miss apointments all the time. I never have any money. I get down on myself all the time for not being the man I once was. I was a soldier, trained by the greatest army the world has, and I can no longer do any of the things that I once could, remind him, the greatest thing he ever learned in the military is this: Adapt and overcome. It's ok if he needs a little help, he needs to know that. After all, the army was a team effort, why should life be any different? I will come back from time to time and see how things are going. I hope that I may have been some help, and if not, tell him that I will come dumo him out of bed if I have to, maybe that will help him to remember to drive on.
It is so trying on my self image. I am weak, tired, uninvolved. I can't stand to go out into the daylight, the sun hurts my eyes so bad. It is not real anger though, it is fear and emotional pain that causes the anger. He isn't mad at you, even though it may seem that way all the time. He does not mean to belittle you, he only tries to do waht he remembers knowing. When I found out that I was actually sick (suffering from ptsd as well as organic brain syndrome ) I began to get help. Anger management was first, I had to get control of my emotions somehow. Part of what I learned in anger group was that I am not alone, and that I am not truely angry. Anger is an emotion brought forth from other emotions, usually fear or hurt feelings. In the army they train you to keep yourself in check, but when you leave the army, and try to re-establish a civilian role in the world, it is quite hard to find your place again. No one thinks like you, everyone is a crybaby, everyone is retarded. I have struggled for so many years trying to not just lash out at people that it has drained so much happyness from my life. I would rather stay in the house where I do not have to deal with the public and the ways they think.
Anyway, the things that I have done to keep my emotions at bay, are these: I have began a hobby that requires a calm mind, I build dioramas for star wars figures. It gives me something to do and keeps my mind off "other things". Also I have learned to play the guitar, and have begun recording my own album. It is frustrating, and tasking alot longer than I had thought, but it is worth it. I create something from my heart and put it pout there for others to enjoy. For me, the hardest part of the whole thing is admitting that I can no longer do it all by myself. I cannot remember things that I need to remember, I miss apointments all the time. I never have any money. I get down on myself all the time for not being the man I once was. I was a soldier, trained by the greatest army the world has, and I can no longer do any of the things that I once could, remind him, the greatest thing he ever learned in the military is this: Adapt and overcome. It's ok if he needs a little help, he needs to know that. After all, the army was a team effort, why should life be any different? I will come back from time to time and see how things are going. I hope that I may have been some help, and if not, tell him that I will come dumo him out of bed if I have to, maybe that will help him to remember to drive on.
