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Sufferer I wasn't beaten so I don't deserve to use a diagnosis as an excuse

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Oh, man! Now I'm crying. Not bad crying, but a release.

Is it really possible that a group of strangers online can give me the support I need to finally accept that I was a victim and that I'm deserving of caring, sympathetic help? To finally accept that I don't have to go through it all alone? That I can express myself and even lean on others without fear? That I don't have to hold onto all of the heaviness anymore?

I literally feel a weight has been lifted off my body.

Thank you so much for your kind words and insights. It's amazing to feel that I'm no longer alone in my head and that I have someone to talk to that actually hears me and can understand and relate to my feelings. I hope I can be of some help to others on here.

This is probably going to sound weird, but I have a strong need to say this right now, to all of you and to myself, I love you. I'm sorry we've been through all of the BS. We didn't deserve it and it's not our fault. My heart aches for all of us and I wish I could give everyone a hug. Much love to you all.
 
So happy to know you feel welcome and heard! Funny how we take a risk about something and it turns out really good for a change.

I was in such a bad place when I joined I don't even remember doing it. Then I started getting email alerts from this place called myPTSD. Hmmm, interesting. And I've been here ever since.

We won't be strangers for long. We will get to know each other and we become a huge family, as dysfunctional as we can be at times, we do always try to be respectful to each other.

Welcome to the club none of us ever wanted to be members of, but thank goodness we have each other. And we love you too!!!
 
Oh, man! Now I'm crying. Not bad crying, but a release.

Is it really possible that a group of strangers online can give me the support I need to finally accept that I was a victim and that I'm deserving of caring, sympathetic help? To finally accept that I don't have to go through it all alone? That I can express myself and even lean on others without fear? That I don't have to hold onto all of the heaviness anymore?

I literally feel a weight has been lifted off my body.

Thank you so much for your kind words and insights. It's amazing to feel that I'm no longer alone in my head and that I have someone to talk to that actually hears me and can understand and relate to my feelings. I hope I can be of some help to others on here.

This is probably going to sound weird, but I have a strong need to say this right now, to all of you and to myself, I love you. I'm sorry we've been through all of the BS. We didn't deserve it and it's not our fault. My heart aches for all of us and I wish I could give everyone a hug. Much love to you all.
NotTooLate:

I totally understand where you are at the moment but with help and support it will be better. I started weekly appts with a T about 10 weeks ago and have jsut started to arrive at the point that I am ready to stop blaming myself for my CSA at 10. It may seem impossible but you can get through this with help and come out the other side better and happier.

I to found folks here like "laddee" very supportive. Also just the process of writing your pain is very cathartic. Hag in there
 
Going through trauma some of us develop an inner critic. That is internalize the abuse
That part is pretty disparaging
However we are lucky in that we can get to look at how all encompassing c-ptsd is.
 
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