In this moment where would you rather be?

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Shut my eyes-Where do I want to be right now?

 

[arfie]

i want to play, "where in the world can i go next?" in this game, i give in to my wildest flights of fancy and research the details of how to make that happen. typically, i lose interest long before i have an action worthy plan. in those cases, i return to my here and now with a greater appreciation for my current circumstances. the exceptions are few, truly exceptional and well worth the wait.

 

[mszl]

Europa - moon of Jupiter, watching it's rise above frozen horizon, seing it's great red spot.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

At the beach - its nice to connect with the sand and sea.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Or tucked away in the country- a few animals, ducks, horses, dogs, mountains, fresh air, birds, warm coffee.

 

[whiteraven]

Home with my cats!

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

Surrounded by puppies.

 

[Brumbyinthesunshine]

In the sunshine .

 

[RVA21]

On another planet.

 

[Givrali]

Dead

 

[Friday]

Dead

Very boring. And very frustrating. As you’ll still have EVERY problem you have now… and zero ability to do anything about it. Because you’re dead. And can do shit f*ck all about anything. Speaking as someone who has died, a few times, now. It’s pure powerlessness. Helplessness. Unless that’s your thing? Being utterly unable to do jack shit about anything that matters? That’s not where you really want to be. Sleep. It’s like death, without the commitment.

 

[Givrali]

Very boring. And very frustrating. As you’ll still have EVERY problem you have now… and zero ability to do anything about it. Because you’re dead. And can do shit f*ck all about anything. Speaking as someone who has died, a few times, now. It’s pure powerlessness. Helplessness. Unless that’s your thing? Being utterly unable to do jack shit about anything that matters? That’s not where you really want to be. Sleep. It’s like death, without the commitment.

I'm not active about this desire. I eat drink water take care of myself ask for help when things are too much to handle. It's just a fantasy. Lately I'm feeling better but with this improvment the need to feel worse is forcing me to read terrible true or fiction stories to keep me in a state of distress. I don't remember not being in a state of distress and while I work toward recovery I simply can't imagine not suffering a lot every second of my life. It's too strange to me. But that familiarity isn't pleasable.
So many people died around me than I regret I survived when my own life was actually in danger when I was 4.
Death sounds like a relief to me because of that