Relationship Is It Ptsd Or Does He Really Not See A Future?

[JM318]

My first time posting. I'm watching your thread. I have not had the energy to create my own thread. It jus...

I hear you. I signed up back in October last year and my first post was incredibly long and I just deleted it. It's hard to share your story when there is too many details that are important for others to know so that they completely understand the ins and outs. Our stories are all similar but at the same time unique. I don't blame you, but I'd say type it out on Microsoft word like you would a school paper (it's good to get it out anyways) and just cut n paste when you're finally ready. I'll follow you on here. Good luck <3

 

[jems]

I'm thinking to just wean myself into it. There's something fearful about getting advice from people who will never understand the complete picture, as you said. No one truly walks in another's shoes. I don't want to jack up your thread either. I feel a big knot in my throat as I type this.

 

[TerriB8511]

Sending love @jems I have a similar story too, but way too raw at the moment. Here if you need. And of course to you as well Joanna.

 

[JM318]

I'm thinking to just wean myself into it. There's something fearful about getting advice from people who w...

I don't mind, I actually feel a sense of comfort when I see someone posted on this thread, even if it's someone else's story.

 

[JM318]

Also I've been meaning to post this, but go on YouTube and look up Jason Mraz "I won't give up" this is my song to my veteran. Listen to every word, it feels like the song was written for PTSD relationships.

Joanna xox

 

[jems]

flood of tears.. nice song. The images remind me of PTSD sufferers also.

Met my vet July 17, 2015. 2 tours Combat Iraq vet. Only recently "loved" me, maybe 2 months ago. This is hard.

 

[JM318]

flood of tears.. nice song. The images remind me of PTSD sufferers also.

Met my vet July 17, 2015. 2 tou...

Took my vet a year and two months to say "I love you" I almost broke up with him at one point because I was so confused about it, but he's such a genuine guy and my friend told me he wants to make sure he meant it when he said it, and that's hard to find. His ex cheated on him while he was away and he was basically single the last few years in the service. I think that's got a lot to do with it. But yeah, same here. Once he said it he wouldn't stop saying it. :)

 

[jems]

Rarely spoken words from either of us, which I loved. I don't know where to begin. I DO know I reacted really wrong when he pulled away this time. I hope not too much damage was done. I'm feeling terribly guilty now. He's never asked me to stop contacting him, but I'm starting to think that's out of feeling guilty, and not wanting to hurt me. I hope I'm wrong.

 

[JM318]

Rarely spoken words from either of us, which I loved. I don't know where to begin. I DO know I reacted rea...

Don't beat yourself up, it's not easy at all. Both are at fault- once mine does feel okay to tell me about how therapy is going and have a talk I want to establish boundaries and "time outs" and better communication. We always seem to talk about communication but I think I over-communicate and he doesn't communicate enough so we def need to work on that. I just think this whole things takes patience and time to understand but I know my veteran knows and appreciates that I've stuck through everything with him and I hope one day it all pays off. Don't worry yourself too much about how you reacted. Now you know and you won't do it again. It's a learning experience for both of you and I also told my vet that the last time we talked face to face.

 

[jems]

Took my vet a year and two months to say "I love you" I almost broke up with him at one point because I w...

Also, my vet was cheated on in the relationship just before he met me. He used to say that he couldn't love me because he didn't have a heart to give. Bad relationship after another. Recently, he allowed me into his world and I met his parents. His pull away wasn't about exactly. It was his new career and other things, and he very politely asked me to allow him to "focus" on his life. Pulled away from the "relationship" pressure and I reacted so wrong on several occasions. He slowly got further and further away. Not just because of me, but life in general was overwhelming to him. I wasn't helping at all. I told him this weekend I was gonna start seeing someone else and I felt I lost my best friend.... His reaction devastated me. He said " You didn't lose anything, and no time spent is wasted. You deserve to be happy and treated great and I hope you have that with him. I really do."
It's been 3 weeks since the initial pull away and needing time alone. :(.

 

[jems]

Yesterday I told him I couldn't date anyone right now, and it was too overwhelming for me. That life was too overwhelming. His reply... "Overwhelming is a good word for it" ... and that's the last text I received, which was yesterday.

It hit me about six hours later that he was referring to himself in his last text, that's when all the guilt set in. I text him and apologized for my bad behavior, etc. No reply.

He tried to tell me he needed to "focus" 3 weeks ago, and told me he was trying not to hurt me, even tried to continue with the plans we had made for later on this month. Told me he loved me, and I was like family. Most days I would act polite, send a nice text here and there. Sometimes he would reply, sometimes not. Then I flipped out last week and started a big fight. He was a little nasty with me, told me we have been "toxic" from the beginning of our friendship etc... all that did was make me more upset. He was VERY angry typing in caps. I have sent three or four texts apologizing.

I start therapy tomorrow. Also, I have an interview with the VA to volunteer coming up. My vet knows both.

 

[JM318]

Yesterday I told him I couldn't date anyone right now, and it was too overwhelming for me. That life was t...

Sounds like my life. My veteran told me the first time we broke up that our relationship was "toxic from the beginning" same exact words. Except I didn't even know why he even felt that way. Therapy will help you feel better, temporarily at least. Good for you for volunteering. Is he in therapy?