Relationship Is It Ptsd Or Does He Really Not See A Future?

[JM318]

Do you think it's possible he would actually go if he was having severe ptsd symptoms?

We went to a concert recently when he was feeling off. I'm really not sure what to say? If you had plans to go together, I would personally just ask if the plan was still on, so you can plan accordingly. I also get stupid anxieties about another female, I'm not sure why when he's a faithful person, I think it's just something we all fear.

 

[JM318]

because @JM318 vet did ask her to wait, and she agreed.

We agreed that I loved him and he loved me and that's all that matters... and to focus on recovery and put our relationship aside.... for now. I told him it's my choice to be here and support him and I take responsibility for that and he shouldn't feel guilty for it.

 

[Endure]

I've lived with my veteran, his mom and brother before he moved out into his own house. I call her "Mom",...

This is how I feel about my man's kids. I bonded so much with them the 3 days we were together. My first attempt to contact him after he went back to Afghanistan was me sending him pictures of the kids from our time together hoping it would remind him of our good times together. Nothing. I wish I could contact his family to check on them, but I know that would make him mad!

 

[jems]

We went to a concert recently when he was feeling off. I'm really not sure what to say? If you had plans...

No. I'm not going to ask to go. I don't think I can handle being let down right now. I've had a very difficult 3 weeks, and not only because of him. I have a mentally ill daughter making me lose my mind and my coping skills are shot. I'm so used to making "me" time... swimming, nails and hair done, dancing, etc. Taking care of myself is just draining.

 

[JM318]

This is how I feel about my man's kids. I bonded so much with them the 3 days we were together. My first...

I know getting attached to family is so hard :/ as if this wasn't hard enough....

 

[jems]

We went to a concert recently when he was feeling off. I'm really not sure what to say? If you had plans...

I know getting attached to family is so hard :/ as if this wasn't hard enough....

I wish had family support. My Dad is the only person I talk to, and he makes me insane with comments like "He's an @sshole, leave him" and "PTSD is bull sh*t" .... My dad has freaking combat PTSD... so annoying!

 

[jems]

if any of you are interested in connecting on facebook, I'm down... but no public talk of PTSD, etc. :)

 

[JM318]

I wish had family support. My Dad is the only person I talk to, and he makes me insane with comments like...

My father also has PTSD but my mother didn't tell me until recently and now it all makes sense to me. I don't talk to my parents about it either I just tell them he's fine and he's busy with work....

 

[JM318]

if any of you are interested in connecting on facebook, I'm down... but no public talk of PTSD, etc. :)[/Q...

I deactivated my account yesterday and I'm staying off the grid for a while

 

[jems]

I deactivated my account yesterday and I'm staying off the grid for a while

I haven't signed on in 10 days since he deleted me, so I understand how you feel. I just thought it'd be easier for us to communicate. Whenever you're ready, I hope we can stay in touch. It seems we're still in it for the long haul. It's really nice having someone to talk to that totally understands. I'll message you my name.

 

[jems]

I thought I was doing better, but I'm not. I went to bed with tears and woke up with them. I text him "good night" last night against my better judgement, knowing he wouldn't reply, and all it did was stress me more. If I feel the need to text him, I should be texting things like pictures of nature, or things that do not require an emotionally connected response. The best way that I've helped bring him "back" is to stay cheery and bubbly. Idk why it's so hard this time do that. He would've asked me to go away if he didn't want me around. I have a feeling that this "pull" is going to be a long one. His new career along with other things is keeping his cup overflowed. Career stress NEVER goes away, so I am feeling insecure about this stress lasting forever. I'm trying to accept that it may be a long time before he can sort things out, and I'm not too much to be included in his life. I have way too much time on my hands for the next 2 days because I took them off from work to go to a concert, horse races, and the amusement park with him. We were both so excited about today, and all I can do is grieve. I'm just rambling because I have no one to talk to, and even if I did, I probably wouldn't want to. No one understands PTSD, and would think I'm crazy to put up with this. But there is no question in my mind that he loves me, yet I have this gnawing feeling that he will leave me to protect me from pain. I once asked him about 2 weeks ago, why we don't text/talk anymore... and he said "I don't wanna hurt you more than I already have" and when I said "I'll be fine" he said "I already hurt you"... but nothing hurts more than THIS. It's HELL! We have continued to text over the last few weeks, but he responds with one little line after I have already sent 10/12 texts, and it's usually a day later. I already know I'm supposed to be taking care of myself, and every time I start to wipe the dust off, I fall back into this hole. The fear that this could last forever is so overwhelming and heartbreaking. How is he going to possibly reduce stress levels when his career is using all of his energy? Forever is a long time :(

If I could wipe away this pain long enough to find a healthy way to connect with him as I've done in the past, then maybe the burn wouldn't be so bad.

 

[JM318]

I thought I was doing better, but I'm not. I went to bed with tears and woke up with them. I text him "goo...

@jems first of all we all care about each other on this site. We can only give you advice and the rest is up to YOU. We all have our bad days so of course we feel for you today, and we want to be here for you, you are definately not alone. Many of us understand that space is a big thing for them, you respect it or you don't. You have to be strong enough to let things heal for the both of you, and sending a "Goodnight" text in his mind was you not respecting his space. I'm guilty for texting my veteran too, but I asked for advice because we have a death of a close friend involved. Everyone's situation is different and unique but from what I read, sending 10/12 texts is not space. If you don't want to push him away, leave him alone, you are making things worse for the both of you. Being cherry and bubbly or sending pictures of nature doesn't help. In your mind you think so, but they don't see it that way. You can't help him, he has to help himself. I'm sorry you are having a bad day, but embrace the good and the bad... Go for a hike or do something to keep your mind off of the current situation. Let your mind rest, take a few deep breathes, do something for YOU today. You are very anxious and your emotions are every where. Take advantage of the day and push yourself to go do something.