Mind control, brainwashing

[Sideways]

if I can just label it as something it will be easier to heal from it.

Label it and put it away in a box. Relate to that a lot.

For survivors of ritual and satanic ritual abuse and MK-Ultra and the like, there are death/suicide MC/programming cues.

I have absolutely no reason to think I have suicide cues programmed into me, but I have found, over the years, a couple of cues that are in there.

It is incredibly scary. One of my cues? Prompts me to undress and lie down on the floor. And when that happens while I’m grocery shopping, it’s pretty terrifying.

Fwiw? For me? A lot of therapy (and I think regularly practicing mindfulness in particular) means that so far, despite how powerful the need to do it is, I have always had enough awareness that I have been able to get myself out of the situation.

I’ve started undressing in public several times, but there is always a shred of awareness. I don’t suddenly become a hypnotised zombie again. Close, but not quite. I do think that’s practicing mindfulness.

But certainly it’s pretty frightening. And if I know that I’m in a very dissociated state? I take it seriously, and I limit what I’m prepared to do in public till I am confident that I’m sufficiently grounded to keep myself safe.

 

[Freida]

But certainly it’s pretty frightening.

File in the box marked Understatement of the Year?.. pretty frighting? I would have to go for holy crap terrifying!
I am so sad you were programmed to do those things --- and so happy you are aware of it and fighting to leave it behind.

 

[Fadeaway]

I would say that I grew up with religious mind control.

Don't think, don't question and having doubt is a sin, and don't forget god is always listening in on your thoughts. Take control of your thoughts and don't think anything that could could be considered sinful or you will go to hell if you don't repent, and the bible says "children obey your parents for this is right" so if you think any thoughts about disobeying you are sinning and god is listening and sinful thoughts are just as bad as sinful actions. Don't forget satan is always waiting for you to let your guard down so he can tempt you in to thinking disobedient thoughts and if you let your guard down by not taking control of your thoughts satan will send his demons after you and then will have to cast the demons out of you before you can commit the unforgivable sin of blasphemy, but we aren't going to tell you what blasphemy means so you can live in constant fear that you have already committed it without knowing, so god has probably abandoned you for committing the unforgivable sin and that is why your prayers for him to protect you from us hurting are going unanswered. By the way, now that you are so full of fear and anxiety over your own mind you must sit perfectly still for two hours in church and if you squirm of fidget at all we will beat you for it.

And that is how to get a child to be terrified of their own mind 101.

As others have said, MK ultra was a real program. The government admits to it, and it has been declassified. Not all of it was abusive. However, I have seen online people saying they were victims who are clearly just delusional. On the other hand I have seen a video of Rosanne Barr speaking to a friend of her about it that was a victim.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

MK ultra was a real program. The government admits to it, and it has been declassified. Not all of it was abusive. However, I have seen online people saying they were victims who are clearly just delusional.

My father liked to use the techniques from MK-Ultra and combine them with his own form of MC/programming to control and torture me.

Maybe being delusional would've been better though in some respects. Then I wouldn't have to remember anything else about my father's serial killing and how he forced me to be like him in so many ugly and disgusting and perverted ways.

 

[Deleted member 44579]

Hi I just want to thank everyone for there brutally honest life stories.. The courage to open up..i

 

[Freida]

Maybe being delusional would've been better though in some respects. Then I wouldn't have to remember anything else about my father's serial killing and how he forced me to be like him in so many ugly and disgusting and perverted ways.

wow -- we are on the same wavelength aren't we. I was just thinking that. If I could go back would I have started to remember? Or would I have been better off staying where I was - dissociated and heading towards delusional