General Quick Question Re: Lack Of Communication Re: Treatment

[Concerned]

I have a quick question - (probably not a quick answer ;-)) Each time my husband goes to his counselor or psychiatrist I have made it a point of not to assk him about the appointment because I find it has had, most of the time, a negative effect. Where it makes him agitated or he just shuts down or gives me a one sentence response. Well . .. I knew he was going to be starting emdr but didn't know when and I just found out that he started last week and didn't tell me. I asked him one or two questions about it and he answered them and then said he didn't really want to talk about it. I told stopped my questions but did ask that he tell me when there is a change in his treatment because I am interested in him and what is going on. He said ok but it sounded half-hearted. I know he is suffering, myself and my son are adversely affected by his suffering and I love him and want to be there and know about his progress but it does not appear he is going to let me know about it. Is this normal? Why is he doing this? What do I do with this? Struggling every day with the isolation from him but with regard to his treatment it is particularly difficult. Anyone else have similar experiences?? [O.K. - maybe not such a quick question ;-)]

 

[Toria]

I have to say that my Husband never had a lot of therapy sessions, but he never really talked about them when asked. I presume because the sessions brought back so many bad memories. He would occasionally blurt out bits of random information and for me it was just a case of knitting these together to create a picture of what was going on. Hope that helps x

 

[Abstract]

I have to say that I feel extremely private about treatment and talking about it with my H seems impossible and isn't something I would feel comfortable with. It would make me more unstable if I did so and make things worse.

It is normal for symptoms and the PTSD to get worse when having therapy and EMDR. I haven't had EMDR but apparently someone can feel exhausted after too and much can continue happening the whole week after.

If you want to help him I would say the best thing is to give him space but still let him know you care (being careful to say the latter comes with no pressure). I understand why you wanted to know when treatment changed as it affects you too.

Maybe you can say that to him. That you understand that he needs space and you support that for him but that you do want to be told the basics (when he changes treatment) just so that you can understand the impact it will inevitably have on the family.

Pressurising him to share more with you generally is likely to have the opposite affect to what you are aiming for - increased closeness.

 

[AS1975]

I struggle to talk to my wife about what happened in treatment, what I go through in treatment generally involves reliving things I really didn't want to experience in the first place, and talking about them again immediately after leads to reliving them again and that sucks, the anger, frustration, resentment and everything else is naked and it is awfully hard to control (it is all fresh again). I'm not sure about your husband, but I can tell you I struggle with discussing it in any detail, I just want to hide away and let it subside.

 

[myvetswife]

I never talked about my sessions and I didn't expect my husband to. I know he was talking about things he didn't want me to know and I accept that. It is his sessions.

 

[Concerned]

Thank you all so very much for your input especially those that are suffering from PTSD yourselves. Your willingness and compassion to help me support my husband is appreciated more than you know!

 

[Bilby]

I don't get much of a response from my husband when I ask him about his sessions.

I ask because I care, and because I want to know if he is ok at that moment (I understand things that are discussed are not pleasant). It's difficult to feel dismissed and shut out, but I'm kind of getting used to just accepting that he goes there, has his sessions and comes home again....