Really Hate Doctors Right Now

[Casey_03]

This is mainly just a rant that I need to go on to vent. I suspect many of you on here also distrust doctors. I spent all day yesterday at a clinic having tests run on my baby -- which is good, I'm glad to have him checked out and I want to make sure everything is okay. But the way the doctors have of dealing with things infuriates me and I got into a shouting match with them. The first doctor conducted an ultrasound to see if his stomach problem is getting worse. For some reason, she barely communicated anything with me, instead choosing to tell everything to another nurse sitting with us, in Ukrainian (I understand only part of Ukrainian, it's very similar to Russian but not quite the same). I found it really strange that she was talking about me and the baby right in front of me and she was saying things to the nurse that she failed to mention to me, so after their conversation I asked that she repeat everything she just said to me. Since it concerns me and my baby, not the damn nurse. She did, reluctantly. To make matters worse, for most of the consultation she kept insisting that the baby was premature and was 1,5 months old -- neither of which were true. I had to keep correcting her and pointing out that he is not a premie, to which she rudely responded, "Well you said he was premature." Nope. Not at any point had I said that, and when she said, "Oh, a premie!" I actually said, "No, he's not a premie. He was born full term." Then she kept insisting he was older than he was, 1.5 months, and saying, "Well at 1.5 months he should be ...." I said, "He's only three weeks." She tried to tell me I was wrong and he was older. I asked, "What are you talking about? Where are you getting this information that he's 1.5 months?" She just ignored me and didn't respond, and only later when I kept pushing her to explain herself did she say, "I thought he was 1.5 months." Why? No clue. But she obviously didn't even bother to look at his file, or listen to his mother, and instead she decided the woman who gave birth to him was wrong about his age. Then, another doctor told me there are three conditions he might have, whereas I had previously been told by other doctors that there were only 2 possible conditions. I asked why no one had mentioned this third condition before, and she said "Well they probably just don't want to worry you." I asked her to explain what the third condition was and she said, "No, I will not, because I don't want to upset you." I freaked the f*ck out. I could not believe that a trained doctor would withhold information like that. I shouted at her and told her that if that is how the clinic runs things, I should go elsewhere; that the whole reason my baby was born underweight was because some other idiot doctor had decided NOT to tell me throughout the entire pregnancy that he had delayed development, and NOT to tell me that it was because of my kidney problem and could be solved with a surgery. Because that woman decided that it was her call to make, and not mine, my baby is majorly underweight. A problem that could have been solved if she had behaved professionally, communicated the problem with me and let me -- THE MOTHER, THE PATIENT -- make the decision, rather than her. I am so fed up I don't even want to deal with them anymore. They just called me saying they set up a series of consultations with specialists tomorrow, without checking with me if I could make it. I'm glad that they are putting in some effort, but it irritates me that they can't bother to call me and ask what time works for me and if I can even make it. Now I have to miss work at a new job where I'm on a probation period, and potentially lose the job -- which is the only source of income I have right now to pay for my baby's needs. What the f*ck. What the actual f*ck. I told the doctor that I have to work and asked if there was any way to change the time, and she tried to guilt trip me, saying "but this is in the interest of the baby, put his needs first." I am more than willing to put his needs first, but they don't seem to understand that my job is also one of his needs, that I am not fortunate enough to be surrounded by family members who can help out, that it is quite literally life or death for me to be working. I am so sick of this crap.

 

[Casey_03]

I should also clarify that there is no urgency in any of the conditions they mentioned; they are all conditions that develop over the first few months and have to be monitored on a weekly basis before they can be diagnosed by the 3rd month, so it's not as if they can prevent things from getting worse if they catch these things early. So asking them to change the time of one consultation is not putting my baby at risk or being neglectful.

 

[Pencil]

I don't have time right now to respond properly, but I just want to let you know I fully understand. When my daughter was 7 months she had a chronic bronchitis - and each time the hospital sent me away with meds one could buy over the counter. Only when I started shouting and behaving like a lunatic did the doc say, very snottily 'So do you want to send her for x-rays' and I shouted YES!!! The result: pneumonia. She was in hospital for 7 days - where it didn't always go much better either. And this was a very expensive private clinic. Hospitals treat patients as if they're prisoners.

 

[Rag doll]

This is mainly just a rant that I need to go on to vent. I suspect many of you on here also distrust d...

I can understand your frustration.....but just forget about it....do what is best for your baby.....yes there are doctors that can be frustrating .....but please know all doctors are not this way , I promise you. If you do not feel you are communicating well with your baby's doctor....find one that you can communicate well with. Don't let bad experience...keep you from getting the care your baby needs....