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School, job, too much

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@blackemerald1 i made a list of things about it like it’s only for three months if I hate it I lasted that long at every job I’ve worked except one and that was due to my physical health (couldn’t stand for hours at a time without my HR reaching like 200 bpm and vomiting). Thank you for your kind words. I just made myself hang out with a friend and I feel horrible bc I was so jittery the whole time and couldn’t focus on her or anything she was saying. I want to hang out with my friends but I can’t like this. They say it’s fine that they don’t care if I can’t talk they just like being around me (but in a nicer more thorough way) and still have fun but I can’t keep up with it.
 
i made a list of things about it like it’s only for three months if I hate it I lasted that long

When do you start the internship and when do you start school? How far off are these things?

Try to relax and prepare yourself physically and emotionally. Make sure you are resting, eating, exercising and sleeping. Are you organised?

I just made myself hang out with a friend and I feel horrible bc I was so jittery the whole time and couldn’t focus on her

^^Send her a text or email and let her know that you appreciated hanging out with her and you are having a tough time right now but you are hoping things are going to improve... or similar.. if she is a good friend - she will try to understand.

I want to hang out with my friends but I can’t like this.

It's difficult when one is very anxious to spend time with friends and be in the moment. Clearly you are stressed about the future.

Is there one friend who is easy to be around and doesn't make demands on you... that you could call and go and see?

If not go back to basic survival skills and take care of yourself. This is only transient! It doesn't last forever and you will feel better but you have to be super good to yourself and for yourself. :) Don't panic - anxiety comes in waves and settles down again. :hug:
 
@blackemerald1 School starts now and the internship starts in two days, so maybe once that is over I'll be better. I sent her a text but I have before and kept trying to push through the anxiety. Idk if she gets it but she's trying. I have friends that I'm 100% comfortable with but they live far away, I was actually supposed to see them today but I've been such a mess I decided not to and talk to them on the phone. so maybe i'll keep that date!!!
 
Just an update, I was dramatic for no reason. The job went super well when I started this week and I’m so excited. I’m in a lot of pain but I know I’m on the way to healing, I’m doing all I can for myself. The people are wonderful!
 
So you only care if you die if you’re at home?

I really don’t get it. With the blind, they need the guide dog to navigate most of the world. When it comes to people who have service dogs for other reasons, many only have the dog when it’s convenient, ie only at home. This is why corporations ie airlines are cracking down on animals on their planes. If you really needed a service dog to save you from tachycardia, you’d need the dog all the time. Just my 2 cents.
 
@EveHarrington i don’t really have to explain but I willl if it helps educate. I hope this doesn’t come off as abrasive. it’s very common that people who have service dogs (or animals, only other covered by ADA is miniature horse) don’t use them 24/7. They are able to help in many ways. Some places aren’t safe to take them. Some people work jobs they can’t take them to for health hazards. Some people use service “humans” instead when they’re out certain places. My friend who has a program dog for mobility and the same psych diagnosis as me won’t use him when she goes out drinking because she can’t properly handle him and it’s not safe for him to be in bars, but she’s young and wants to still do those things. They provide and extra quality of life for a person. Most people can’t afford it until years after their symptoms are debilitating and manage their symptoms until then. In home service dogs are a thing and protected under the ADA. I recommend following some teams on social media if you have it if you want to learn more. The tab here also has a section on service dogs. People training them while they’re working etc.

For more info, the only way you qualify for a service dog is if you are disabled by your symptoms. Disability doesnt have to be extreme or SSDI total, it just has to negatively impact your life in ways of walking, eating, socializing, working, thriving etc. My psych doctors deemed I fit this definition. I am still limited by my psych diagnoses. I can’t go certain places without horrific anxiety/ some places I dong ever go at all and if I do I don’t enjoy them. I get acrophobia sometimes. I still have panic attacks and tachycardia episodes and leave stores I need to be in to get things when I don’t have her with me. The tachycardia is new, but she’s been tasking on it before I even knew it wasn’t anxiety. My pain she helps with as well, even if she’s just tasking in home she extends the time I can function as a human, which could mean doing dishes, cleaning my room or not doing any of these things. She stops panic attacks with deep pressure therapy so instead of ruining an entire night and into the morning of my life, so I’m able to do school, work or anything else.

I would be a thousand times better off if I could get her trained up where she could go everywhere with me, because her tasks help all the time, but she’s not there training wise and I don’t know if she will be. I have incredibly high standards for her so even when the general public compliments her I still am self conscious about it.

I wouldn’t take her on a plane because I haven’t worked out settle for longer than an hour yet. She isn’t considered fully trained so I wouldn’t even have access to planes, and I wouldn’t abuse the system and call her an ESA, even though she’d be better behaved than most of the dogs there. The reason airlines are cracking down on animals on planes is because people have been brining horribly behaved and dangerous animals to airports, who are mauling people, peeing on the planes etc. not because people have in home service dogs. I don’t see how you make the connection there, but the plane thing definitely is a problem and it’s making it harder for legitimate teams to go through.
 
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