Self-sex I Am In Need Of Help!!!!

[Unema]

So do you genuinely feel there is no hidden attraction to guys? Its Ok if there is or isnt and I don't think it is necessarily an indication that someone is gay for example.

Also, how do you feel about gay sex as a concept? For others. Are you way to the left and have gay friends or generally more middle or right?

How old were you exactly when you started with your friend?

 

[Utes]

So do you genuinely feel there is no hidden attraction to guys? Its Ok if there is or isnt and I don't think it is necessarily an indication that someone is gay for example.

Also, how do you feel about gay sex as a concept? For others. Are you way to the left and have gay friends or generally more middle or right?

How old were you exactly when you started with your friend?

I have a couple gay friends and we are cool. They did hit on me, but I told then that I wasn't into guys. Now, as gay sex is goes its cool as long as I am not apart of it. After the thing with my friends I stopped considering it completely. But, that's why I am confused now. We were at least 9-11 when it started. Although, if this helps my family (mom and step-dad) thought I was gonna grow up and be gay, because I was so nurturing and nice. You think this might have anything to do with it?

 

[Unema]

I don't think it has to be at all!

I also don't think early experiences can have anything to do with future sexuality either!

You don't seem to have issues about gayness and are just not attracted to guys.

I do think our minds are strange things and I think these thoughts could mean nothing at all.

The thing that stands out to me a little is that that is a pretty graphic conversation for a mother to have with her 9 year old son. To much information at least in my mind.

Do you think you had/have a porn addiction? You say these thoughts only came up after you did without the porn?

 

[Kovog]

I don't think it has to be at all!

I had an addiction to porn for 6 years. I finally kicked it, but yeah it was like right after it

 

[Unema]

After the first incident with you friend?

 

[Unema]

Did you ever get professional treatment for the addiction?

 

[Uci]

Did you ever get professional treatment for the addiction?

No, I never got professional help for it. And, it was about 4 years after the incident with my friend. He had porn magazines and that's how my addiction got started

 

[Unema]

I know you say you have the addiction under control so you may not want to do this but I wonder if it might not be a good idea for you to see a therapist that specialises in porn and love addiction.

Often addictions are ways of dealing with things. I don't want you to think there is automatically anything there still with you from your experiments with your friends. There might not be at all. Or there might just be the repercussions of being sexualised very early. That can affect sex addictions and in order to get over it properly (the addiction) discussing the past may help. Or you and the therapist may decide it is fine and there is nothing to discuss at all in that regard but you can only gain as they could give you some advise about continuing in your recovery.

So just my take here but I would probably see someone like that to get an idea of what direction is in your best interests now.

I have to say though that I do wonder just if your friend was exposed to more than he told you.

In the mean time try not to worry too much as human beings have all sorts of pretty strange thoughts and impulses! It doesn't have to mean anything.

 

[Ofaw]

Unema, I thank you for you're help. I think I'll take your advice. But, instead of a therapist, could I talk to my brother? Would I get a sorta of the same affect?

 

[Ofaw]

There is no need to quote entire posts, especially when responding directly above, which is the new member warning you received directing you here.

 

[Unema]

I think talking to your brother would be a good thing to do. However, I don't think it would replace what a sex addiction therapist would do for you. I know it is scary but once you take that step it wont be that hard. I would make sure it is the type of therapist that understands this specific area though.

But you need to think of what you feel is right for this as well. What your instincts are telling you. Good luck.

 

[Jeki]

Uhm....runaway thoughts are your trauma? What does this mean? I know it doesn't meet DSM PTSD criteria in and of itself. I suggest you see a therapist.