Shut Down And Anxious While At Potluck

[Justmehere]

I'm at a friends house. She is having an international food potluck - everyone brought dishes from other countries. There are about 30 people here. It's a really nice group of people, I don't feel awkward being around them. I got through the dinner, and we are just hanging out chatting. I got a ride witha friend here, and she is driving me back home, but not anytime soon. We will probably leave in another hour or so,

I took 1/4 a tab of Ativan before I came and it's making me overly sleepy. I'm emotionally shut down, I don't know if it is the Ativan or the anxiety. Conversation is usually ways with these people but I just keep shutting down. I'm hiding in a bathroom right now,..

I need ideas for how to get through this... Anyt thoughts or suggestions?

 

[sun seeker]

Say you're tired (which is true) and ask if there is a quiet place you can rest for a while?

I read "international food potluck" and first thought "oh what fun!" and then quickly "oh yes, but that means a lot of people... STRESS." There is nothing wrong with needing a break.

I sympathize, I hate being somewhere and depending on someone else being ready to take me home.

 

[Glenn R.]

JUSTMEHERE - Boy, can I identify with you. I have the dilemma when I take a benzo like Ativan. They do tend to make me emotionally numb (disassociate) as well. Sometimes, that's even more difficult to bear than the anxiety itself. When I shut down, I get stuck in my head, and my mind begins to attack me with an onslaught of self judgments and criticism.

I like Sun Seeker's suggestion. It makes tremendous sense. When I feel that way, I honestly don't need to be around others, period!

You are not alone. Everyone here seems to understand!

 

[joeylittle]

Hey, @Justmehere, how did it go?

(and a PS for @Glenn R. - if you want to tag a member in your posting, just type the @ sign immediately before their user name. When you type the @ and then start typing their user name (no space in between) you'll see a drop-down of all the members that fit the letters you are typing.)

 

[Justmehere]

Thanks for the suggestions @sun seeker and @Glenn R. I read what you wrote while I was there, and it really helped. I convinced myself to stop hiding or and to stop white knuckling my way through engaging people. I asked my friend if she had a quiet spot I could lie down. That helped a lot! I decompressed a bit, and then went out and was social again. It was a lot easier. It was a good time with everyone. We played a really funny game of telephone pictionary. I haven't laughed that much in awhile. I had fun! I don't think I could have done it if I had not taken a time out from all the socializing and talking. At the end of the game, I started to feel shut down and overwhelmed again, and another friend decided to head home early and offered me a ride home early. I went home and crawled into bed very quickly. I was tearful, and I let my dog up on the bed (a rare thing).

I wish I could do this better. I keep trying. This morning I might have rebound anxiety from taking the Ativan. I'm not sure. I feel very alone, and I feel terribly anxious about it.

Potluck was a success. :) Now to get through the rest of life! One dang event at a time.

 

[joeylittle]

Well, I think you did great. Sometimes I get tearful after a major event where I use a lot of energy; I am never sure why, but usually chalk it up to having a little bit of after-the-fact flooding. One event at a time, just like you said :)

 

[Justmehere]

Thanks @joeylittle!

 

[sun seeker]

Glad to hear you got through it all right and had a good time for the most part. Sometimes I think we see things in black and white, as in "Oh no, this isn't working for me... I have to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Panic. It can help to make some space for the shades of grey. "Okay, I'm starting to get overwhelmed, how about a break and then I'll come back to it." Slightly stressful but overall positive. Last week I was talking with my therapist about being worried about the employment options program I'm going to start this spring. One worry of many is being triggered in a situation where I'm expected to stay in the group and participate. What if something is too much and I'm sitting there trying to hold myself together and everyone notices how I'm shaking, sobbing, etc.? She was so calm about it. "Well, how about talking to the instructor ahead of time and telling her there may be times you need to take a break and go for a walk? "But then I might miss something!" Shrug. "So you miss something."

By the way, what did you make for the potluck?

 

[Justmehere]

I have to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Panic. It can help to make some space for the shades of grey. "Okay, I'm starting to get overwhelmed, how about a break and then I'll come back to it."

This really hits the nail on the head. In the moment, all I could think was "OH NO..."

She was so calm about it. "Well, how about talking to the instructor ahead of time and telling her there may be times you need to take a break and go for a walk? "But then I might miss something!" Shrug. "So you miss something."

This sounds so much like me. I tend to think if I can not do it all, and do it well, then I should not do it. Instead, I am learning there is space for grey...

By the way, what did you make for the potluck?

I made Vietnamese Pho. It actually turned out alright. A small victory. I almost made crepes... mmm...