he is beyond the point of being able to handle this with outpatient treatment. He cannot keep himself safe so it’s imperative that he be in a place that can keep him safe.
This right here. If someone's making attempts they need inpatient care for their own safety, at least IMO.
Kind of feels weird giving advice on this all, considering my own suicidal thoughts, but I have a lot of experience dealing with someone who was very suicidal. I guess thinking about all this stuff, and talking about it, kind of helps give me reasons to stay safe. I wouldn't want to burden people in my life with my death, or the thought of it, so I don't think I'm in danger of doing anything stupid, I just have to suffer with the thoughts from time to time.
Something I regret about dealing with my ex, my abuser: I should have gotten other people involved sooner. I should have called 911 or a suicide line the very first time he was making serious threats of suicide. (means on his person, making threats of imminent suicide)
I would have saved myself from a lot of trauma. It was probably a year after that that I actually started getting the professionals involved. He made an attempt - even if it seems like a "half assed attempt" or something like that (maybe he's trying to make it sound like that?), that's something very serious. You shouldn't have to deal with this - not only that, you aren't trained to deal with this. Other people are trained to deal with this. You can feel safe trusting him with them, even if it pisses him off.
My abuser really didn't like being put in the psych ward. His words here "that place is like my own personal hell!!! i would rather die than go there!!!"
Yet the world still existed afterwards, he played the game and found his way out eventually, without actually having been treated (because he just did what he had to to get out as fast as possible), and he was so overjoyed at getting out of there, that he didn't care that I was the one who got him put in there in the first place.
It's not like I view it like that of course - he got himself put in there with his own actions - I'm just saying that to him, that blame would fall on me, even though I only did the right thing.
So whether he's going to be okay with you when he gets out, or whether he's not, it doesn't matter - you're not equipped to handle a suicidal person, and it isn't right to subject yourself to having to do that, you shouldn't have to handle this stuff. Let the pros handle it.
While he's in there, you likely will be able to communicate with him over the phone or maybe even visit him. You can do that if you want but, trust me here, DON'T feel like you have to, if it's causing you distress to do so. Like seriously. Maybe you need space, maybe you don't. If you communicate with him, feel free to contact the people who work there and tell them about things your husband said on the phone - like if he's saying he's just lying to try to get his way out, then tell them that, or if he says he's gonna get out and kill himself - tell them that. They won't rat you out at all, because they want to keep you as a source of information on him. That will help make it so that he actually gets treated in there, instead of just getting out and repeating the vicious cycle, which IMO is a cycle that's just going to intensify if it isn't stopped.
It is downright scary to face someone who is suicidal and making these kinds of threats.
This is so true, people shouldn't have to deal with these things, but sadly it happens. It can be traumatic to have to deal with that sort of stuff. That's another reason why it's always a good reason to get help as soon as possible, and call 911/suicide line if someone's acting like this.
