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- #61
I will go look, thank you Hope!
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Speechless... Can You Help?
- Post starter shimmerz
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I have a hard time figuring out what's what, because some of my PARTS actually have their own PARTS. It makes it very convoluted and confusing. System is way too complicated.
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- #63
Yes. Rest. That, too, is a way of being with parts. Sometimes we need to just stop thinking and trying to figure things out. Sometimes we need to just rest.
I am about to do the same. The call-in sick to work part (Self?!) prevailed, and my "scramble" continues. Will try to sleep a little and hope that my subconscious will do some good work sorting things out. Let's talk later if you're wishing to. I would like that.
:hug: @shimmerz :hug:
I am about to do the same. The call-in sick to work part (Self?!) prevailed, and my "scramble" continues. Will try to sleep a little and hope that my subconscious will do some good work sorting things out. Let's talk later if you're wishing to. I would like that.
:hug: @shimmerz :hug:
scout86
VIP Member
JMO. That seems a bit confusing to me too.
Here's what I'm getting. She does have a basement, but it's not as unencumbered as it originally sounded like it was. She also appears to be a person who likes to "help". Not all bad.
How did the story get morphed like it did? A couple well intentioned people "mind reading"? "hearing what they wanted to hear"? Stuff like that? (When it comes right down to it WE are not the only humans who have problems with communication.
What now? Well, you COULD express your bafflement at the misunderstanding and fill her in on your situation. You never know where that might lead.
People!?
Here's what I'm getting. She does have a basement, but it's not as unencumbered as it originally sounded like it was. She also appears to be a person who likes to "help". Not all bad.
How did the story get morphed like it did? A couple well intentioned people "mind reading"? "hearing what they wanted to hear"? Stuff like that? (When it comes right down to it WE are not the only humans who have problems with communication.
What now? Well, you COULD express your bafflement at the misunderstanding and fill her in on your situation. You never know where that might lead.
sun seeker
Diamond Member
Oh @shimmerz, I'm so sorry. As usual the difference in time zones and my sleep schedule combine so I'm late arriving for what is going on with others on this continent, but I just read this latest development. :cry:
It's NOT your fault. You did nothing wrong. You were given an offer, you thanked her and asked for clarification, and she backed out without admitting what she was doing. You then backed out gracefully, in a position where a lot of people would have been passive-aggressive at the very least. It's so unfortunate that this happened just when a) you really need help and b) you are making tentative steps to discern when you can and can't trust people. I'd like to give her a piece of my mind for being so insensitive to the situation you are in.
I've had something like this happen when I was couch hopping because of an impossible roommate who refused to leave, and a friend first jumped in with a place to stay and then balked when the time came. She did finally let me stay for a few days and helped me find another place after that, but I remember well how it felt to be given first a warm welcome and then have her close down. Some people are just like that: it makes them feel good to offer help, or they are impulsive, and then when it comes time to follow through, they back out. It's so hard to call them on it because the offer was something they were volunteering for. Please do your best to remember that not everyone is this way. You just had some bad luck. There are a lot of responsible people in the world, and you will find them. It's the law of averages.
And my offer still stands, if it comes down to that. But I will keep crossing my fingers for something easier and closer to home to come up.
My paperwork problem is solved, or I think it is, so don't worry about me. I called the coordinator and she said nothing like that had ever happened before and she would go in to the Service Canada office and sort it out.
It's NOT your fault. You did nothing wrong. You were given an offer, you thanked her and asked for clarification, and she backed out without admitting what she was doing. You then backed out gracefully, in a position where a lot of people would have been passive-aggressive at the very least. It's so unfortunate that this happened just when a) you really need help and b) you are making tentative steps to discern when you can and can't trust people. I'd like to give her a piece of my mind for being so insensitive to the situation you are in.
I've had something like this happen when I was couch hopping because of an impossible roommate who refused to leave, and a friend first jumped in with a place to stay and then balked when the time came. She did finally let me stay for a few days and helped me find another place after that, but I remember well how it felt to be given first a warm welcome and then have her close down. Some people are just like that: it makes them feel good to offer help, or they are impulsive, and then when it comes time to follow through, they back out. It's so hard to call them on it because the offer was something they were volunteering for. Please do your best to remember that not everyone is this way. You just had some bad luck. There are a lot of responsible people in the world, and you will find them. It's the law of averages.
And my offer still stands, if it comes down to that. But I will keep crossing my fingers for something easier and closer to home to come up.
My paperwork problem is solved, or I think it is, so don't worry about me. I called the coordinator and she said nothing like that had ever happened before and she would go in to the Service Canada office and sort it out.
sun seeker
Diamond Member
What do EP and ANP stand for?
- Post starter
- #68
Oh, sun, I felt so badly that you helped me and I crashed and burned before helping you! Thank god for eleanor! I could just picture you at Service Canada. I was there not too long ago figuring out passport stuff. Thank you so much for your lovely offer. I am going to recover from all of this, you know, try and breathe my way through it. It is such a big and ugly issue for me.
Anyways, the way it worked out was exactly as you said, she retracted her offer, I got all wired up because I felt like I had really made myself feel vulnerable, and I walked away. The minister and I spoke and she agreed that perhaps this woman wasn't in a good place to offer in the first place. So...I will see what happens from here. In the meanwhile I have a meeting to go to where both the minister and this woman will be. I haven't decided whether I will go or not.
So, immediate fire put out, it was all about sticking my toe in the water. I am not certain how soon I will be able to do so again as this seems like the extreme of exposure therapy. Thank you all so very much. Hope, I hope you slept well and yes, we will chat if you are up to it. It has been a 'scrambled' day, hasn't it?
Anyways, the way it worked out was exactly as you said, she retracted her offer, I got all wired up because I felt like I had really made myself feel vulnerable, and I walked away. The minister and I spoke and she agreed that perhaps this woman wasn't in a good place to offer in the first place. So...I will see what happens from here. In the meanwhile I have a meeting to go to where both the minister and this woman will be. I haven't decided whether I will go or not.
So, immediate fire put out, it was all about sticking my toe in the water. I am not certain how soon I will be able to do so again as this seems like the extreme of exposure therapy. Thank you all so very much. Hope, I hope you slept well and yes, we will chat if you are up to it. It has been a 'scrambled' day, hasn't it?
- Post starter
- #69
Sun, there is a thread out there called Structural Dissociation that some of us have been involved in. By all means, if it calls to you, head over there. It speaks about a form of dissociation that is not DID but a fragmentation of emotional parts (EP(s)) that come out to play when something happens that is triggery. An ANP is the working, functional Apparently Normal Part (ANP) usually high functioning bit that at times is thrown off the tracks by the Emotional Part.
So the idea is when I melted down over this, an EP took over (a fragmented part from my past that has unresolved emotional bits and responses to go with it) which interrupted my normal (ANP) functioning self, making me less capable of 'dealing'. I seem to be mainly back into ANP mode right now (am functioning, head not spinning, vision is proper again). I slept the EP off to a large degree I am thinking. It doesn't make the issue go away though. :facepalm:
I hope this helps Sun. If not, feel free to ask me more questions/.
So the idea is when I melted down over this, an EP took over (a fragmented part from my past that has unresolved emotional bits and responses to go with it) which interrupted my normal (ANP) functioning self, making me less capable of 'dealing'. I seem to be mainly back into ANP mode right now (am functioning, head not spinning, vision is proper again). I slept the EP off to a large degree I am thinking. It doesn't make the issue go away though. :facepalm:
I hope this helps Sun. If not, feel free to ask me more questions/.
D
Deleted member 28740
@shimmerz
Don't just walk but run from this. I would ask you minister to explain at some point what this "well intentioned person" intended. Do not take it personally. Probably a scummy scam tax write off. Consider your self saved from the hell of that situation. Living on the street was easier than having someone invade and abuse.
No, you are not confused. Had this very similar event. Except that I was desperate and this was a friends parents house with lots of extra rooms. Room in exchange for house and yard work. Ate all my food and was the biggest mess of a pig. Half gallon ice-cream containers and mellon rinds left on the coffee table, the couch, took my toiletries, and then gave me one day's notice. Used my cell phone if left when I was out for a walk.
Don't just walk but run from this. I would ask you minister to explain at some point what this "well intentioned person" intended. Do not take it personally. Probably a scummy scam tax write off. Consider your self saved from the hell of that situation. Living on the street was easier than having someone invade and abuse.
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- #71
Yes, this is what my minister said lol (although in minister words). I like your words better. This is how it feels. I know this woman and really haven't been too endeared to her along the way but the minister said that since I have been away she has made great progress. As we all know, progress comes in bits and pieces. I believe the minister but clearly this woman is not quite 'there' yet.
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