Very nervous about driving

[Justmehere]

I haven’t driven for 5 years. The first 3 years was due to a physical health problem. Then the doc gave the ok but I haven’t had a car to drive. Or the funds to afford it. I passed my drivers test with no practice and I’ll be driving a borrowed car for a few weeks. I practiced yesterday. I didn’t crash the car or die. I was able to practice driving the same route I’ll be doing for work with my friend. I did ok? I mean they are still letting me borrow their nice car. I’m still going to practice some more on my own this weekend, and while the drive I’ll be doing isn’t short, I found an easysh route that eliminates rush hour and some city driving.

But I’m now having huge anxiety about all this, especially about driving at night. I am terrified I will hir

Anyone else nervous about driving and/or have any suggestions?

 

[Friday]

For sure! Happens to me all the time. And I’ve got zillions of miles under my belt (okay something more like 600k last time I pieced it together? Which isn’t a ton, but I’ve also taken years off), which also includes a fair bit of off road, offensive driving, evasive driving, a teeny tiny bit of stunt driving, and combat driving. I’m a halfway decent driver. But still... Eeeeeeeeeevery time I don’t drive for a couple few months I’m just like :eek: OMFG! We’re going like a bat out of hell!!! :eek:

Snort. At, say, 25mph.

At least I don’t cling to the doorframe and brace with my foot on the dash muttering a peculiar mix of... Our father who art in heaven -motherf*cking goddamn sonnuvabutch for the love of Mike- hallowed by thy name -F U C K youregonnarunrightintothesideofthat T R U C K!!!- Our kingdom come LATER would be my preference god dammit are you TRYING to get us killed??? Where was I? Follow the straight path, not the path upon which anger falls THATS IT! PULL THIS THING OVER RIGHT NOW ...Muttered curses and prayers like I did as a passenger after my first deployment. :rolleyes:

On the upside? It doesn’t get worse with time. Whether it’s been 3 months, or 3 years, there’s always a bit of adrenaline heavy adjustment to strapping on a 2,000 battering ram capable of achieving speeds in excess of a couple hundred miles per hour.

IDFK why. It just happens.

Every. Single. Time.

Driving fixes it. Relatively quickly. The more I drive? The faster it becomes normal/boring-esque/one of my favorite ways to unwind. I actually loooooove driving. It just freaks me out a bit when I haven’t done it for awhile.

Ideally I take every newish car out on a road trip for a couple days to get us used to each other. Ditto, when I’ve been out of the drivers seat for awhile.

What also helps is half living in the car, locally. Bring my books, homework, laptop, whatever... hang my feet out of the window, and just kick back doing my thing.

 

[somerandomguy]

I love driving. I love driving long distances. Fast or slow, city or country, I just really enjoy driving. Like almost everyone else who drives, I consider myself to be an fantastic driver - among the best. I should really be awarded a medal for excellence in driving.

And sometimes in the middle of driving I freeze. What if I crash? What if I suddenly lose control? I start to panic. It could happen on the edge of a cliff, or at a deserted intersection in the middle of the day.

When that happens, you just ... keep driving. I don't crash or lose control and the moment passes.

So I think what you're feeling is pretty normal. I think the worst thing to do is to give in to that feeling, because you'll just make it bigger and bigger. The more you drive, the better you'll feel, and even if it doesn't feel great - you'll still be driving. Nothing will go wrong.

 

[NIKI]

I am very nervous about driving on the highway. Something what helps a little bit is to listen to some soft calming music while driving. It helps calm my nerves.

 

[Sweetleaf]

I love driving, and my own driving never scares me - I feel safest if I am the one driving - but ALL of the other drivers scare the shit out of me. When I'm a passenger, the drivers driving scares me, observing things outside the windows scares me, I keep thinking we're gonna hit things and all that.

Then when I drive on my own, in summer conditions - I speed like a bat out of hell most the time, depending on the area.

This summer I got my car up to 120mph on the highway. I didn't even notice my speed till I looked down. I was just like "WOOHOO FAST!!!" then I looked down and was like "HOLY F*CK!!!!!" and just completely eased off the gas till I was going 65mph.

Apparently my car has a top speed of ~140mph. The speedometer only goes up to 130. Lol.

It's also racecar red :D

I've always been a leadfoot so it's no surprise tbh. I think I'd be doing that PTSD or not.

During the abuse in my adulthood, the psycho ex made me drive 100% of the time. He never drove, I was his chauffeur. I've only had two passengers in my car, since my PTSD started. Each only once. It was okay - none of them criticized my driving, which my ex-from-hell would do.

In a relationship previous to that, my girlfriend did almost all the driving but we would switch back and forth on long drives.

Also in winter conditions - I am -super- terrified by peoples driving. It's been winter here since last week :/ and the roads are very icy. I have great winter tires though, and my car handles super well on the ice. Plus I have a lot of experience in drifting on ice, killing drifts by counterturning properly, so on and so forth (I often intentionally drift while exiting my neighborhood lol). Until my current car I -hated- ABS systems, because they weren't as good as my own break pumping. My current car's ABS is totally great though, accents my break pumping and makes it more effective instead of locking me out of having control over my car lmao.

But yeah. Since beginning driving I've never taken much of any break from driving. I'm sure if I went without driving long enough, I'd be a lot more anxious about returning to it.

 

[littleoc]

You are definitely not alone, because the only reason I was in the Anxiety subforum just now was to make a post asking for advice on calming down when driving!

I’m learning how to drive (finally) and I seem to be doing well, but I’m so frustrated by my progress. I am comfortable on the highway now, but on smaller roads the crazy anxiety comes back.

I was considering taking more anti-anxiety meds (as long as it didn’t make me drowsy). I have not yet worked up to being able to go 55mph :( Interstate seems impossible.

So, no advise, but I’m glad you started this thread!! Now I won’t have to :p

 

[barefoot]

Oh, I hate driving! It’s really anxiety-making for me and I avoid it as much as possible.

A huge part of it is major fear about getting lost. I have zero sense of direction and can never remember how to get to anywhere.
So, that’s a big panic for me...that I will end up taking a wrong turn and getting lost and not being able to find my way either to my destination or back the way I came. I can’t do maps and satnav doesn’t help me a whole lot either.

I also get ridiculously anxious ahead of a journey, worrying about whether I’ll be able to get parked.

I am slightly dyspraxic and don’t have good spatial awareness, so I think I also over-worry about getting into an accident because I’ve misjudged space/distance etc. As a result, I tend to drive over-cautiously...I wait ages to let a bazillion cars go by before I pull out and I largely avoid overtaking unless absolutely necessary etc. I’m sure this makes me a very frustrating person to be stuck behind!

I am absolutely rigid while driving...nothing relaxing about behind behind the wheel for me.

Music sometimes helps. Or talky radio/an audio book/a podcast?
Depends though because sometimes I need absolute quiet so that I can focus on driving.

Otherwise, my only other thing would be to do a reccie to new places so I’ve practiced the route/know what to expect with parking etc.

Are you worried that you’re going to have an accident and damage your friend’s car?

I guess practise is the main thing to build up confidence. And getting good insurance ?

How are you getting on now? Have you been practising? How are you feeling about it now?

 

[cravinbob]

It is okay and required for a novice to be nervous about driving! It is serious business and one needs to be alert and aware but know the line between alert and terrified to distraction. If you think constantly of hitting someone then do not drive until you can logically understand that you are preparing to do your worst not your best! It is okay to not drive. To overcome trepiations that are not unfounded drive when traffic conditions are ideal. Sunday mornings on sunny days go for short drives. Little by little as you practice checking mirrors and traffic signs it becomes second nature. Slow down when you see children or a crosswalk. When you approach an intersection and a car pulls up on a sidestreet and stops to wait for you look at that car's front wheel, it is the first things you will see move if they are going to pulll out in front of you. Drive under the limit and ignore the impatient ones who wish to speed. Ignore them! You will be fine, you are the captain of your ship and you will protect society as best you can by doing what the law requires. You cannot help the reckless among us. Breath slowly and do not fixate on fear. Take a smart friend with you not a worrysome or dominating partner. If you are overcome by anxiety you are allowed stop and rest then drive home. Don't go too far but go a little farther each time. Pick a place to go and drive there. Enjoy and remember that people used to have to ride horses or even walk along side a covered wagon for 3 months to go west!