What did you find today? tangible or intangible?

[Friday]

Busy malls are not a great place for me yet...

Busy malls are not a great place for me yet ever!

But even before PTSD I despised shopping in general, and malls in particular. Shudder. I know some people love and adore both/either. More power to you, if that’s you, and something you want back or are working towards!

But for my own self… Every time someone suggests we meet at the mall? I’m just like… Why on earth would we want to do that?!? O_o

 

[ladee]

^^^^^All the above!! I hate shopping and not crazy about people either!!

 

[8888]

Inner strength

 

[Freddyt]

More power to you, if that’s you, and something you want back or are working towards!

No, Just trying to get to where when I see more than a few people I don't panic and wonder if everyone else on the down escalator will get out of my way when I start running up...

Today, I found my memory is as bad as I think it is. GP called for a followup I forgot about and when my wife handed me the phone it was the big blank....

 

[Dynamic]

not good things but at least identified.

 

[Friday]

No, Just trying to get to where when I see more than a few people I don't panic

Ah-So

I did that by starting on a city rooftop garden 6 or 8 stories up, gradually moving down floors by balcony. Eventually hanging out on the street itself (fast exit into the building, or down any of several alleys), progressing to on the edges of the crowd, to IN the crowd (sticking out like a sore thumb), to invisible-in-the-crowd, to invisibile-AND-mobile (I can dodge and weave my way through a crowd like nobodies business).

From street crowds, I shifted focus to festivals and concerts.

At this point the only “fun &/or purposeful” crowds that can still f*ck off are the fireworks shows. Nope. Huh-uh. Not gonna do it. No desire whatsoever to work on it. Too many way better options exist. Hotel rooms. Boats. Etc. (For big shows). But the BEST way to see fireworks? With a handful of people on a beach lighting our own stuff off. Fireworks crowds can suck it.

 

[Freddyt]

At this point the only “fun &/or purposeful” crowds that can still f*ck off are the fireworks shows. Nope. Huh-uh. Not gonna do it.

Finding gatherings of people in northern Canada has been a bit difficult the last couple years so ya just gotta go where people are. Funny but despite not having loud noise as part of my trauma fireworks are the same for me.

 

[Dynamic]

Finding gatherings of people in northern Canada has been a bit difficult the last couple years so ya just gotta go where people are. Funny but despite not having loud noise as part of my trauma fireworks are the same for me.

Same loud noises feel like they are gonna knock me out. I panicked (and sobbed) during a thunderstorm.

 

[Tinyflame]

A heart-shaped chunk of snow. In my defense I didn't kick it lol.
A QR code for a Crisis Line on a brick wall with instructions to text HOPE or HOME, can't remember which but both are ironic. Kind of funny, actually.
A piece of paper with something like, "NOW WHAT TO" in large capital print withn a box. Or something similar, can't remember as made no sense.

 

[Teasel]

Some functioning

 

[Dynamic]

A desire to process a specific week last year.

 

[Tinyflame]

Sweeping the water line off the fence a green shiny ball that has flashing lights when I shake it.