Wow! its surprising to see the same feelings discussed over and over and to be able to relate. I have issues with fear too. It used to be worse but then last year I got a doggo and he helps me get outside and want to do things and go new places, at least just to show him.
There is another kind of fear i have: of life. I medicate to help me deal with anxiety about meeting people and going places and doting new things. But sometimes I indulge as a away to avoid the experience altogether. Like ill smoke a bunch and purposefully will get caught up in a project to run out of time or to conveniently forget to do something i need to or go somewhere i said i would.
I like smoking pot but hate myself for using it this way sometimes. Last night I picked my partner up form work and afterward we (some of their co-workers) all went to have dinner. Usually I want to go straight home but I just went to dinner and it was actually really fun. Plus I got to have a triple stack of pancakes at 2AM so.. WOOT WOOT!! :)
There is another kind of fear i have: of life. I medicate to help me deal with anxiety about meeting people and going places and doting new things. But sometimes I indulge as a away to avoid the experience altogether. Like ill smoke a bunch and purposefully will get caught up in a project to run out of time or to conveniently forget to do something i need to or go somewhere i said i would.
I like smoking pot but hate myself for using it this way sometimes. Last night I picked my partner up form work and afterward we (some of their co-workers) all went to have dinner. Usually I want to go straight home but I just went to dinner and it was actually really fun. Plus I got to have a triple stack of pancakes at 2AM so.. WOOT WOOT!! :)