What I Hate The Most About Ptsd

[goingonhope]

I think I hate the longevity of suffering and it's intensity the most.

In different words, what I hate most about Ptsd is it's a lifetime companion and one in which I'd otherwise have chosen not to have relationship with.

Also, that Ptsd doesn't need a companion it needs a host and it reproduces by itself. :tdown:

 

[shell]

That I have it; it feels like I'm being punished a second time, wasn't 18 years of abuse enough.

 

[CaringMomma]

I hate the unexpected up's and down's!

 

[Srain]

I hate the constant static in my head, it makes it rare that I am able to follow a verbal conversation, and when out in public the systems overload can send me into flight or complete snappish irritation - then flight, usually resulting in an episode of self-battery and emotional pain.

Ptsd renders "normal" relationships extremely difficult at this point due to the uncertainty of day to day mental and physical life which effects me so deeply emotionally. Although it has gotten better, I still am unsure of myself. It's frustrating, depressing, and often just plain feel sad to me the amount of time it's taken for me to just get to this point.

 

[712xx]

I can't pick what I hate 'the most', because it is different from year to year. Right now, I suppose it is the time it has stolen from me. I can't get any of those years back, even if there was a pill I could take that would cure it. So, I'm still stuck having to catch up to people my age because I haven't developed proper responses to normal life. Paranoia, fear, undeveloped trust, not really understanding reality completely, feeling surreal like I'm an alien rather than human, feeling like an unwanted crasher in the human race.

 

[CraftyCath]

At the moment, for me, it is the complete isolation. I struggle to fit in and have realised that I never will.

Even among the people who love me I feel terribly alone and empty as if the PTSD cocoons me so tightly that I am chained, almost against my will.

712xx said it really well, I can never get those years back and live them 'normally.'

 

[heidi]

I guess I hate feeling like my former self died. Feeling like why am I even here then.

 

[CaringMomma]

(((((((((((heidi)))))))))))

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Oh what a great thread!

I hate the depression, the black cloud that always is over my head. I could use some joy. I hate the anxiety, that I have almost every day, i hate the driving phobia I have had this past year.

I hate that I used avoidance for so long and now it works against me, because I have to function like it or not. I have a few lazy days here and there.

I hate the memories of trauma. Boy do I ever hate that. I hate the fact that I am antisocial now. I used to be such a people person.

 

[4L150N]

I hate that every time ANYTHING goes wrong, I feel the stranglehold of PTSD tighten it's grip. Makes me wonder how many more wrong things I have left before this stupid thing does me in.

 

[angel2write]

I hate the way it undermines my ability to help others. It's like a secret weakness. It's like a mine in a movie. It looks fine, until there is any stress at all, then the whole thing collapses.

And I hate the way it makes me look like I don't care about others. I do care. I just can't handle the stress sometimes.

 

[Beverly G.]

I hate not being the true me. i know who I am inside but that person has a hard time coming out when PTSD is on the rampage.
I hate the sympathy I see in peoples eyes when they find out and the cold looks I get from some medical personel. I think they think PTSD is onlt an excuse to act up.