What Is On Your Mind Right This Second?

[Givrali]

struggling, struggling, struggling, struggling,...

 

[Teasel]

Missing people

 

[Dynamic]

I want a baby and I’m sick of that as well

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I feel so alone in this house. Everything I say is taken as some form of an attack, and action is the only thing acceptable and meanwhile the stupid anxiety is making pressure out of everything.

 

[Friday]

I’m truly grateful I grew up in a society where gender reassignment wasn’t a thing to worry about. I knew a HELL OF A LOT of trans people way back in the 80’s & 90’s, which is a bit unusual. But modern kids? Don’t just have the gay/straight question asked of them, if they’re “different”.

I’m a 6’ tall chick. Who served in the military, likes skulls/dragons/guns/sports and countless other “boy” things… but? Am. Still. A. Girl. Because girls CAN love those things. And do those things. They’re not the property of men, and never have been. Judeochristian west, maybe they “only” belong to “boys” and girls “shouldn’t” like, much less be GOOD at “boyish” things??? But Imstill think that’s just gross.

It’s just so frustrating.

I’m a person. Who likes what I like.
Just like trans people are people, who like what they like.
Regardless of whatever f*cking phenotype/sex/gender we happen to look like.

On the upside when people either assume I AM trans, or “should” be? I have 40-mumble years of… nope! Am a girl. Born a girl. f*ck off with your stereotyping bullshit nonsense. So there’s that. The confidence to back idiots dooooooown.

Sigh.

People. People are on my shit list. Again.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

I feel 1% better than yesterday and I'm grateful.

 

[Teasel]

Jaw pain making me mis er a ble!
It's taking up nearly all the few slots in my brain so that working out how to do anything is too bloody much.

 

[Abstract]

Sorry, Teasal. Get that too. Acupuncture helps sometimes .

 

[Abstract]

I am over dealing with my sister. But don't want to hurt her. I don't have the spoons to deal with all the old pathological family crap I worked so hard to escape and change. I have compassion for how she is but she has a lot of work to do and I don't want to be around it. The projection and mindreading are my least favourites.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

@Abstract I can relate, living with my parents is the same. Have to cope for now. It has it's calmer moments like now and I am doing my best to use those, but it's hard.

Me right now: Didn't know how much my body needed yoga after 10 days of no exercise. All my muscles were in knots and now that I breathed and stretched through that I feel like I have no bones. SO good!!

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Woke up in panic and the dream (nightmare) is still pulsing through my body, coming back in pieces and waves and I can't detach from it immediately. Like there is danger in it that I need to remember to protect myself. The details still k like sand on your wet skin and I can't fully shake it off.

 

[Tinyflame]

Hate the deceit of union and employer who are trying to appear to promote a deal with oodles of $ when it applies to 1% of workforce, provided they are not dead or retired (as one years service is 2080 regular hours, ie 40 hrs/ week, no sick days or vacation or absences (ever), or reductions in service. So effectively a 25 year employee at 3/4 time needs to work 40 years to hopefully reach 25 for example). And still able to send anywhere and on any schedule with potential loss of any guaranteed hours/ day. Wherein the loss per hour pay/ day at full rate= a loss of 6000$/ year for every hour lost. And we don't even have sick days. Telling us to vote and haven't even released agreement to us. Makes me nauseous.