Poll While Triggered/Anxious - Can You Tolerate Physical Affection?

[Sinead]

I voted no. When I am feeling anxious/triggered I cannot focus on anything and like to be left alone. Hugging or anything of the like would definitely make it worse.

 

[heather q]

I haven't narrowed it down yet, most of the time I can't stand anyone even close to me, I hate shaking hands, but sometimes it's ok, it's a business thing so sometimes I have to, or I'm rude. I don't like getting my hair cut or going to a doctor or dentist, can't stand them near me.

Hugging confuses me it's as if I lose myself, I dissociate, so I do lose myself. I seem to need to behave in 'the proper' way, accept a hug, do the right thing to not make a fuss, get it over and done with, and not let people know how screwed up I am and that I hate them touching me, but I still want to be hugged by someone, I don't know who, though. Something to deal with in therapy.

In the grocery store in line, people jamming carts into me touching me, clearly they don't need as much space as I do, I feel so disorientated and out of place when I'm being crowded.

I recently accepted a hug when I dissociated for a long time, the hug felt good, but the guy I was with was causing the dissociation, so I haven't sorted it out yet, Mum hugged me on my wedding day, as if it was normal, it wasn't normal and I pulled away, I couldn't stand her touching me, it's bothered me ever since.

Lot's of big issues for me, always on my mind but didn't realize it, thanks for bringing them up,

Heather

 

[phoenix_xiii]

I am an other... It's complicated... I get like a cat... I don't like hugs and kisses but I greatly enjoy being petted on the head or having my hair played with. Other than that touching makes me freak out if I'm triggered.

 

[Surviving]

OMG no! You're likely to get smacked or worse if you touch me when I'm triggered! I was very violently assaulted over a long period of time so if I'm triggered, it's a fight for my life. I'm like a cornered animal.

 

[Marmalade]

No, I prefer to not be touched, it only increases the symptoms for me, and makes me 'turn off' and into a state of numbness, usually creating agitation and misunderstanding for all concerned. Marmalade...

 

[Insane in York]

Sometime when I get panicked intimacy is very helpful in coping with those feelings.

I have abandonment issues, and this may be why it seems to help me.

 

[LoveWins]

90% of the time initially I cant stand it, I just want to lash out or hide myself away
Sometimes though it is exactly what I need right from the bgeinning (usually when its more an anxious panicky feeling than one of rage, hurt or confusion) and nearly always after a certain period (anywhere from a minute to half an hour or so) I will want affection
The more I learn to control how I react to triggers the more I want the affection sooner rather than those awful times Ive had in the past where Ive locked myself up for hours, shouted any attempts to soothe me away and it progressed to panic attacks and led me to very dark places

Oh I need to add I mean only by my husband. If anyone else touches me when triggered it makes the whole thing a thousand times worse

 

[RubyNicole]

I voted "No. I hate being touched and it makes me worse." When I'm touched when I'm upset I can't stand it. I want to burn my skin or scrape it all off. When I feel someone approaching me to touch me I completely lock up and freeze, but have hyper awareness of their movements.

 

[disconnect]

It's something I never really got as a child and so now when I'm triggered, all I want is for someone to stroke my hair until I calm down and fall asleep.

 

[Abeille]

When I am triggered, I cannot be touched without it making everything more real and much worse. I feel bad about this because my sinificant other will want to comfort me but I just push him away...

 

[heather q]

I Don't Want To Be Touched

I am getting worse, twice this week guys have touched my hair and I freeze, then I have no memory, this happened at a bicycle store where a guy was much too friendly and I couldn't seem to pull away. And at work some guy went to read the label on the uniform I had put on. He didn't need to do that, he didn't check it when one of the guys put the same piece of clothing on.

I am sick of being touched. Some woman hugged me at a bus station, I can't talk to her, I can't stand her, now they laugh at me because of it, it is just getting too much to deal with. My anxiety level is just too much.

Heather

 

[Richelle]

I don't like being touched at all, I don't even like shaking hands with people, but will do so only because it's expected of me. Whenever someone has touched me I feel very depressed and I feel crappy for a long time. Even though I don't like being pushed away either (complicated), I feel much better when people choose not to touch me when I know they want to give a hug/handshake/whatever.