Hi
I posted on here a while ago however much has changed since then between me and my now ex wife. I'm after some thoughts and guidance. My wife has had cptsd for 10years and has never had therapy, shes to afraid to. She developed it when her ex husband tried to murder her. I won't go into detail, let's just say it was horrific! I've been with her for 8yrs. During this time her ex comes out of prison and bk in again for hurting somebody else. As u can probably guess, when he's inside she's fine, no trauma at all. When he comes out it's hell! She can't trust anyone, fear of hurt, feels alone, worthless, guilty, unloved, unappreciated, doesn't believe anything I say etc. I'm the big bay guy which makes sense. Obviously I just try to be there for her and get her through it. She almost left me a few times because she doesn't believe I love her. But luckily everytime she ends up thanking me and were OK again. This time however, wow! We've had a seriously hard Yr like everybody and she was under immense stress and still is. She left me five months ago because she felt i didn't love her. Shes never actually left me before. Since then she has repeated all the things she used to say. She can't trust and I'm gona hurt her etc. I know this is ptsd, and I know I can't tell her that cause she won't listen. When she happy it's like we never broke up! She flirtatious, we really get on and 9 times over the 5 months we've slept together and she told me she loves me, and only ever wants me, I'm her forever. We almost get bk together. Then the stress kicks in and she turns. She said I made her feel more worthless than anyone she has ever known!? And she doesn't want me. Then I try to explain its just stress and stay calm and she be fine, but this makes her even worse again and she just spirals. Now as far as she's concerned I've just been the pain in the ass she thinks I am and is gona start dating an old ex from 25yrs ago. Just an dating relationship thing. She hates that kind of thing and I told her this. She said I don't care, it means I won't get hurt again! She went from telling me she wants me, to about to start dating within 3weeks! I couldn't understand y? Then I found out. It turns out all the good days, the flirting, sleeping together, almost getting bk together and all the nice things she says. She has completely forgotten about!? Can't remember a thing? As far as she's concerned I've been trying to get with her and she's been saying no for 5 months! Of course I tried to jog her memory by telling her...big mistake! Now she thinks I'm lying aswell which made things worse. I don't no what to do? If she does move on, I fear she will be happy and her feelings for me will come back as always and hurt her, Or worse the memories come bk as well and it will break her. Or she will just ignore them and end up doing the same thing to next person. Either way she will get the hurt she is trying to escape. I just dont want to see her get hurt. I don't no how to help her.
I posted on here a while ago however much has changed since then between me and my now ex wife. I'm after some thoughts and guidance. My wife has had cptsd for 10years and has never had therapy, shes to afraid to. She developed it when her ex husband tried to murder her. I won't go into detail, let's just say it was horrific! I've been with her for 8yrs. During this time her ex comes out of prison and bk in again for hurting somebody else. As u can probably guess, when he's inside she's fine, no trauma at all. When he comes out it's hell! She can't trust anyone, fear of hurt, feels alone, worthless, guilty, unloved, unappreciated, doesn't believe anything I say etc. I'm the big bay guy which makes sense. Obviously I just try to be there for her and get her through it. She almost left me a few times because she doesn't believe I love her. But luckily everytime she ends up thanking me and were OK again. This time however, wow! We've had a seriously hard Yr like everybody and she was under immense stress and still is. She left me five months ago because she felt i didn't love her. Shes never actually left me before. Since then she has repeated all the things she used to say. She can't trust and I'm gona hurt her etc. I know this is ptsd, and I know I can't tell her that cause she won't listen. When she happy it's like we never broke up! She flirtatious, we really get on and 9 times over the 5 months we've slept together and she told me she loves me, and only ever wants me, I'm her forever. We almost get bk together. Then the stress kicks in and she turns. She said I made her feel more worthless than anyone she has ever known!? And she doesn't want me. Then I try to explain its just stress and stay calm and she be fine, but this makes her even worse again and she just spirals. Now as far as she's concerned I've just been the pain in the ass she thinks I am and is gona start dating an old ex from 25yrs ago. Just an dating relationship thing. She hates that kind of thing and I told her this. She said I don't care, it means I won't get hurt again! She went from telling me she wants me, to about to start dating within 3weeks! I couldn't understand y? Then I found out. It turns out all the good days, the flirting, sleeping together, almost getting bk together and all the nice things she says. She has completely forgotten about!? Can't remember a thing? As far as she's concerned I've been trying to get with her and she's been saying no for 5 months! Of course I tried to jog her memory by telling her...big mistake! Now she thinks I'm lying aswell which made things worse. I don't no what to do? If she does move on, I fear she will be happy and her feelings for me will come back as always and hurt her, Or worse the memories come bk as well and it will break her. Or she will just ignore them and end up doing the same thing to next person. Either way she will get the hurt she is trying to escape. I just dont want to see her get hurt. I don't no how to help her.