Upside Down Eagle
MyPTSD Pro
Hi Forum dwellers,
I need some advice. First there is something I have to get out of the way.
Namely, that feeling empathy for yourself is good. Understanding and patience are good. Compassion is good.
But that´s not what this is. There are specific days were I feel so extremely sorry for myself, I can´t do anything.
The way to explain it is like this: I revert back to a childlike state, and any adult portion of me simply fails to show up.
The childlike state feels so, so, so sorry for itself and it wants to feel miserable and wallow in the pain.
It feels that it never got a chance to feel self-pity back during the trauma (15 years ago) and so it feels like it deserves the chance to do that now.
When I feel self-pity I do not even try to "chin up" and be brave so I can protect myself from triggers.
I simply feel: "I don´t have to try, I am a child". So I feel justified in simply giving up and not face the present.
I have tried looking online to see if people deal with it, but it does not apply to me.
In the sense that these websites are always talking about mild cases of self-pity that are easy to overcome.
Looking forward to your opinions.
Gwaihir
I need some advice. First there is something I have to get out of the way.
Namely, that feeling empathy for yourself is good. Understanding and patience are good. Compassion is good.
But that´s not what this is. There are specific days were I feel so extremely sorry for myself, I can´t do anything.
The way to explain it is like this: I revert back to a childlike state, and any adult portion of me simply fails to show up.
The childlike state feels so, so, so sorry for itself and it wants to feel miserable and wallow in the pain.
It feels that it never got a chance to feel self-pity back during the trauma (15 years ago) and so it feels like it deserves the chance to do that now.
When I feel self-pity I do not even try to "chin up" and be brave so I can protect myself from triggers.
I simply feel: "I don´t have to try, I am a child". So I feel justified in simply giving up and not face the present.
I have tried looking online to see if people deal with it, but it does not apply to me.
In the sense that these websites are always talking about mild cases of self-pity that are easy to overcome.
Looking forward to your opinions.
Gwaihir