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Sufferer Well I'm Pretty Sure My Best Friend Drugged Me And Then Who Knows What Happened?
- Post starter EJB
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- Post starter
- #14
caroline_13
Gold Member
Hi EJB-
I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you take care of yourself and always put yourself first, even when it comes to whether or not to report this guy and/or how to deal with any aspect of the situation. I completely get the feeling stupid part about knowing you shouldn't have trusted someone. It's not about intellect, though. Everyone should have the right to trust people not to violate them--some people never have a bad experience and go through their whole lives trusting, and that doesn't make them stupid.
Give your emotions time to toss and turn. You don't always have to make sure your intellectual and emotional sides match--mine often don't and not only have I come to accept this, I'm functioning better this way :)
Caroline
I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you take care of yourself and always put yourself first, even when it comes to whether or not to report this guy and/or how to deal with any aspect of the situation. I completely get the feeling stupid part about knowing you shouldn't have trusted someone. It's not about intellect, though. Everyone should have the right to trust people not to violate them--some people never have a bad experience and go through their whole lives trusting, and that doesn't make them stupid.
Give your emotions time to toss and turn. You don't always have to make sure your intellectual and emotional sides match--mine often don't and not only have I come to accept this, I'm functioning better this way :)
Caroline
- Post starter
- #16
Well guys here is what I'm nervous about. TRUST. How do I trust people again. Im going to be living on my own well with room-mates next year for the first time ever. I guess its better I remember this stuff now than I when I go off to my new school. I won't know anybody and I want to have a good college experience. Is it smart to only hang out in group settings for a while? How can I trust people I don't know,after people I know have hurt me like this?
Ordinarily I would say that placing yourself in the company of someone who has done this to you would be folly, and whether or not it is victim blaming, it is still true that if someone treats you bad and you go back, then it gives their warped mind permission to keep doing it because they are thinking you deserve that and more, because they are f*cked up. I don't consider that to be victim blaming either, it's just stating that the way these types think, you cannot be around them and if you choose to be, then bad things will most likely happen, so it's best to not give them the opportunity to do what comes naturally to them, as psychos. No one is to blame for the warped perceptions and actions of dicks like this except the dick, and he's not about to self-reflect, so it's best to avoid their company.
Given the fact that you say you blacked out entirely from the drug, and did not recall it even happening, so the next time Sam invited you somewhere, or got you to drive him somewhere, it seemed ok, and you were still best friends and everything was ok. That's how you felt at the time, suppressed memories tucked safely away. You are definitely NOT to blame for this in any way whatsoever, and I hope you can allow that message to absorb in your mind, as you read everyone's posts here.
If you can treat yourself as kindly as possible at this time, it will help preserve your strength for getting through this. I hope you have other people in your off line life who can give you the support you deserve and need at this time. And of course, we are all here to listen if you need an ear or a hundred :)
Can I just express how utterly scary this world is becoming, or has it always been this way? I'm pretty sure, not. When sub-humans like this little f*cker can get away with rape using date rape drugs, on someone who considered them a friend, and introduce their friends, basically pimping the girl out to his mates...then this is not a society I want to live in, or at least, hurry up and get all those freaks who want to start again on Mars, to go, and take these creatures with you.
Given the fact that you say you blacked out entirely from the drug, and did not recall it even happening, so the next time Sam invited you somewhere, or got you to drive him somewhere, it seemed ok, and you were still best friends and everything was ok. That's how you felt at the time, suppressed memories tucked safely away. You are definitely NOT to blame for this in any way whatsoever, and I hope you can allow that message to absorb in your mind, as you read everyone's posts here.
If you can treat yourself as kindly as possible at this time, it will help preserve your strength for getting through this. I hope you have other people in your off line life who can give you the support you deserve and need at this time. And of course, we are all here to listen if you need an ear or a hundred :)
Can I just express how utterly scary this world is becoming, or has it always been this way? I'm pretty sure, not. When sub-humans like this little f*cker can get away with rape using date rape drugs, on someone who considered them a friend, and introduce their friends, basically pimping the girl out to his mates...then this is not a society I want to live in, or at least, hurry up and get all those freaks who want to start again on Mars, to go, and take these creatures with you.
rightkindofme
Diamond Member
Historically speaking crimes like rape are way down.
I have a long history of having to physically avoid people in order to avoid being raped repeatedly. I haven't ever managed police protection and the fellows never seem to think that repeating the crime is a problem.
I have a long history of having to physically avoid people in order to avoid being raped repeatedly. I haven't ever managed police protection and the fellows never seem to think that repeating the crime is a problem.
intothelight
Sponsor
Hi EJB,
Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)
Whether you decide to report this to the police or not is entirely up to you, but do not put off seeking medical attention as Shoulderblades made some very good points. Seeing a therapist would also be a good idea, not to necessarily work on retrieving the memories but to get help dealing with what you do remember and whatever memories might come back.
Cutting all ties is critical and again there were some good suggestions made in earlier posts. You have to keep foremost in your mind this individual is in no way a "friend" but a dangerous predator and you need to treat him as such. Again, talking to someone who counsels in cases of rape/sexual abuse would be a good source of information.
Wishing you the best.
Debbie
Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)
Whether you decide to report this to the police or not is entirely up to you, but do not put off seeking medical attention as Shoulderblades made some very good points. Seeing a therapist would also be a good idea, not to necessarily work on retrieving the memories but to get help dealing with what you do remember and whatever memories might come back.
Cutting all ties is critical and again there were some good suggestions made in earlier posts. You have to keep foremost in your mind this individual is in no way a "friend" but a dangerous predator and you need to treat him as such. Again, talking to someone who counsels in cases of rape/sexual abuse would be a good source of information.
Wishing you the best.
Debbie
- Post starter
- #20
I am so very sorry...I have been roofied (is that a proper word) too so I understand a bit how violating and awful it can be. It's not really the source of my PTSD (at least I don't think!), but it was a really unpleasant experience so I sympathize. Luckily I had friends there who got me away and took care of me...I can't imagine what you must be feeling. It's really violation on so many different levels. Not remembering what went on was awful and so was not even being sure that someone even spiked my drink and having to piece it all together. Just wanted to say hi and welcome and hugs. I'm glad you are leaving the city.
Also I loved your remark about feeling better and writing a song :) Writing and photography are really healing for me.
Also I loved your remark about feeling better and writing a song :) Writing and photography are really healing for me.
- Post starter
- #22
I think it is understandable that you want to know what happened to you. It is only natural. I am relieved that you are getting far away and cutting all ties. I hope and pray you get counseling, because I think it is a huge step in recovery.
Most importantly YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!!!!!!! NOTHING!!! NOTHING!!!! NOTHING!!!!! I'm really sorry this happened to you.
And, I suspect that this is a point of concern for you-in God's eyes you are a virgin. And His child.
- Post starter
- #24
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