Therapist Clueless About Sociopaths

[Pencil]

While being abused or traumatized by a 'path may be the worst thing ever for some people

She never said 'worse'. She said 'unique'.

not all people who are 'paths are evil. They simply aren't. And as pointed out by those with better statistical data, it's not even the majority of 'paths -or people exhibiting 'pathic behaviors- who are evil.

I wish I could draw a simple Venn diagram ...

 

[Ronin]

'Unique'. And there we go again... I'm gonna do some drinking bingo on this one. Think we've already hit all fields multiple times over.

Trauma is trauma, abusers are abusers, different circumstances are different circumstances, but that does not make any of these more 'unique' than the other. To focus on how isolating an experience was won't help getting through it. Trauma on itself is. It's part of what makes it trauma. This divisive crap is not useful to other survivors, and I highly doubt to the OP in question in the long term either, though I don't know her and I'm in none relation to her that it'd matter.

 

[Pencil]

I can't help wondering why people are so insistent that it is not different. They all are unique, and lead to different outcomes. I was not the victim of incest. I will NEVER know what victims of incest go through - and the impact of incest is unique. When victims of incest discuss their experiences I keep a respectful distance. I don't jump in saying they don't have a right to think they are unique. What is so threatening about this?

Oh well, I think I'm going to hit the ice cream.

 

[Ed Norton]

Everyone's trauma is unique.

 

[Ronin]

Where this gets problematic, @Pencil, is when someone assumes what they went through is because who victimized them is X (type of person, with this or that diagnosis, because of XYZ of their traits) and takes one factor as an all explanation for everything that went on in the interaction with them. Even worse: when going just by that person's general understanding of the topic, it's clear as a day they lack it.

Where this gets problematic is when people with both academic and personal experience and investment in the topic try to steer them into 'maaybe consider different things at play, and learn tiny bit more how this works?' direction and all they receive back is 'you don't know what you talking about'.

What is problematic when misinformation is spread as facts. Especially when it comes to people. And here we're talking about risks with certain types of diagnoses. Even with it being 'just a discussion' there's still likeliness someone in a bad situation may be looking for what the hell is wrong and how to get out, check forums like these, and see a bunch of posts with not only generalizations... but *incorrect* generalizations. That can get risky rather fast.

There's *safety* concerns with commenting on abuse & recovery. It's not just 'whichever goes'.

 

[Pencil]

@Kaia all your points are very valid.

 

[greenleaf]

Of course the traumas are all unique; the OP was about *how* this category of person as abuser might leave unique issues for the survivors, as I understand it. Words like "unique" and "distinct" do not in themselves imply "worse", "most unique" or "more distinct" to me in the slightest, in spite of various posters' interpretations here. I continue to find such interpretations extremely strange here.

I could similarly start a thread about abuse by siblings, and how that might cause unique issues. I wouldn't expect all peoples' experience to be the same, but some common threads might emerge... given that on multiple occasions people not in my family minimized the events since "all siblings fight", that might have happened for other people, for instance.

Abuse by a guardian is pretty much known to cause unique issues, as I understand it.

So, what is the record for thread length on this site...? :devilish:

 

[Ed Norton]

@greenleaf the longest threads are in social, the biggest is the association thread.

 

[Pencil]

Well said @greenleaf.

Record of thread length due to derailment?

Ice cream anyone?

 

[whserenitynluv]

This I think is where the problem lays. Sociopaths don't go to psychiatrists because nothing is EVER wrong with them. The victims of sociopaths do. Therefore there is extremely limited information on sociopaths and the prevalence of them within society.

This is a very valid point. No remorse type behavior, with a I don't need treatment or help factor. It doesn't cross their mind, therefore it's not a thought. They are very grandiose, I mean look at the leaders of our world. Perfect example

 

[shimmerz]

I find the disorder both relaxing and enervating

I must say that while a sociopath can be charming etc, when they feel you have shattered their veneer that is when they 'switch' and are (in my experience and which research supports) very dangerous. I just wonder whether you have 'ticked them off' so much so that they have ever targeted you or if you have avoided this 'piece' of them because you know how to keep the peace with them at all times. This may be why your experience with a sociopath or any type of 'path for that matter is not in line with the damage the OP has asked for strategies with in this posting.

for everything that went on in the interaction with them

I don't think the OP said everything wrong with her life came down to this - but this aspect of her trauma needed to be worked through.

As a child who was wanted 'dead' by both parents, I have specific issues that need to be dealt with as I was a child with no parent to go to as a safety net. This is a specific piece of my trauma and I expect my therapist to validate this. If they do not, I need to find someone who can. This seems to me what the OP is asking. Shouldn't her therapist see that this type of behaviour has caused a part of her trauma, therefore, should it not be addressed. My belief is yes.

maaybe consider different things at play, and learn tiny bit more how this works

This would be fine if this was the general response in the postings but instead the general tone here has been 'you are saying your trauma is worse ....' ad nauseum. This is not helpful when repeatedly it has been said that no, this is not what is being put across.

with this or that diagnosis, because of XYZ of their traits

I agree with this and feel that if the OP had put it across to her therapist that she was concerned about how XYZ issues affected her without a reference to sociopathic as a definitive self diagnosis then it may have worked out better for her in the therapists office.

There is a haunting line that the therapist mentioned which I believe deserves further consideration.

I was alone with him, he wanted me to stay, and I left. She said, "If he was a psychopath, he wouldn't have let you leave."

1. Notice she used the term psychopath rather than sociopath. What are we speaking of here? Sociopath or psychopath? That matters.
2. From my experience the therapist is correct in this statement.
"If he was a psychopath, he wouldn't have let you leave."
From my experience, the type of person I am speaking of (and this may have been a mistake in my understanding what was being spoken of here), the therapist is correct in this. As a sociopath, imho, he either wanted you to leave and just wanted you to think he didn't want you to, OR he isn't a sociopath. They don't LET people go.

I don't know enough about the OP's story but in my postings in this thread I was talking about consistent abuse that lasts and never ends. Therefore, I will step back from this posting as my experience is different and I seem to be bringing to this post things that do not fit here. @Pencil's post described the problems with this so, not because I don't care but because I feel I have nothing to add to the OP's experience, I will bow out. It sounds like the OP needed help understanding how to process the something that is very different than what I experienced which is never-ending torment.

Just my thoughts given new information in this posting. Regardless, our therapists do need to address issues that are specific to each of us. If they cannot we need to search that information in other ways. Why people posting here are suggesting that someone needs specific treatment for something that is causing the OP distress is something I am having a hard time getting my head around.

 

[Pencil]

Why people posting here are suggesting that someone needs specific treatment for something that is causing the OP distress is something I am having a hard time getting my head around

Hey @shimmerz, I'm not quite following.