General Dragging Your Spousy Back To Bed

[Sweetpea76]

We watch stupid man-movies he likes on Netflix in bed... and I sleep instead lol.

I'm a horrible sleeper too. I have insomnia and sleep apnea... but when I am exhausted, I HAVE to sleep while the gettin' is good. That is the only time I sleep like a rock. I put my CPAP mask on and an eye pillow, and it's lights out. He seems happy as long as I am there and laying against him, so he just watches movies and lays still.

He also knows that when I'm that tired, I'd graciously invite him to go sleep in the recliner in the living room if he messed with me. Sweetpea's kind of a bitch when she gets exhausted... so I think that motivates him to leave me be :rolleyes:.

 

[still_i_rise]

Do you sometimes feel "alone"? "If people knew that about or family they would all point their fingers at us and ridicule us"

Yeah, I sometimes feel alone. That's why I got 2 dogs to cuddle :)

However, I don't give a shit what others think about us. My main priority is to be there for my husband no matter what either of our family or friends think. if they're gonna judge us because we don't sleep in the same bed then they can kiss my ass. We've got more important things to deal with.

We rarely ever sleep together. It's a combination of factors. He doesn't sleep well or for very long at night. He's afraid of hurting me if he does have a nightmare. I'm a light sleeper and wake up at the slightest sound.

Most nights he's out in the living room on a foam mattress. He'll come cuddle with me before I fall asleep for a little bit if he's up to it.

For the most part, I'm just happy that he's sleeping. I've found him asleep under the kitchen table on the dog bed in the middle of the day. I just throw a blanket over him and get on with my day.

The only time I got a bit freaked out was when he end up sleeping in our van. I woke up and couldn't find him in the house. My heart stopped and my stomach dropped because I feared the worst when I couldn't find him.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Sooo tired today :).... but the world is more beutiful if you smile so I do and looking forward for all good things which will happen today :)

 

[holdenmonty]

@Lemontree I really like that perspective normally I have a hard time smiling but I do my best to smile but not to fake it.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

So tired again :)

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I am so tired because today I really wish he would come to bed but he is not and I decided to wait for him though I guess I can wait until I am blue in the face.

Just so tired.

 

[Recovery4Me]

I am so tired because today I really wish he would come to bed but he is not and I decided to wait for him though I guess I can wait

In gentleness, I offer this...
Insanity is often described doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

Just so tired

Please ...consider some sleep medicine for you and a soft body pillow for cuddling. He can moved it if & when he comes to bed. In the meantime, you will feel rested and empowered on choices that are nurturing for you.

Otherwise, you may be frustrated, angry and do more harm in the relationship and to your own self care for what is basically your choice not to recognize his need set or pattern is not going to take a back seat in this tug of war. This is about control. No one wins...:(
:hug:

 

[Deleted member 28812]

0330 and he still did not come to bed. Feel so stupid for having waited for him.
I need no sleep medicine. I just need to decide never to wait for him again. I already stopped waiting for him most times.

No, it's not about control. It's about wanting to go to sleep next to the man I love - at least sometimes.

 

[Wastinglight]

Feel so stupid for having waited for him.

That really sucks. I experienced the same situation with my ex, and it always made me really sad and a bit unloved.

My guy ends up spending most nights sleeping on the couch because it's more comfortable for his back (he suffers from chronic back pain), but he always comes to bed with me and at least tries to sleep in bed with me. I really appreciate it, as I think it's an important ritual for us that reinforces closeness. Is that a possibility for your guy, @Lemontree, even if it's just for 5-10 minutes for a cuddle before he gets up? Would it help you if he did?

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Tired just tired... needed to whine... now I feel better. ;)

 

[holdenmonty]

I'm feeling tired today. I think I tossed and turned all night but it's like my brain hits a reset button when I wake up in the morning and I don't remember much of anything of the night.

 

[Wastinglight]

I don't remember much of anything of the night.

Sorry to hear you haven't been sleeping well. This seems to happen with my guy as well - the last two mornings, he has woken up on the couch and didn't remember getting up from bed at all.