Happens even more with an increase of stress combined with all the (DID) parts. So if you don't have this damning condition let me explain. Relentlessly explaining to a 4 yr old, 6 yr old, 8 yr old, 14 yrs old all separately a concept such as our T on vacation- again. Yup, abandonment. It's this enhanced miserable loneliness no one on the outside will ever understand because we will be judged first and foremost and there's no going back. I have no idea how this will ever change. By the way, I am trying and taken DBT 2x and most of the time I give it my all using all I have and never feel differently if not worse. I have some strong headed parts who never back down. When they have, sh** hits the fan. It's a cocktail of hatred, extreme sadness, confusion, and a struggle to find a reason to continue on and we've done that forever and we're fed up.