Breaking the bedroom habit

[Mee]

I think an issue with life bring electronic is I can do stuff all from my bedroom. I fon’t work but iif I worked from home I could do it here.

I have tried to be disciplined about not but I get triggered or something happens and I head straight back to the room.

 

[Friday]

I moved my bed into my living room. For the opposite reason. If I didn’t have anything else to fight? I’d fight sleep. Bringing it out into my living space normalised it for me. Seems like it could work the other way ‘round, too.

 

[Mee]

I moved my bed into my living room. For the opposite reason. If I didn’t have anything else to fight?...

interesting; my own inner response to this of panic. For me it's not just sleeping but privacy and the feeling of a non social, contained space. I THiNK but cannot be sure that I would be ok in an apartment versus a house for example With a sitting room . I might make it to a sofa more often ;). but I am lucky here that I have fewer people To worry about: I think my hyper vigilance would be worse in an apartment .

I think it's the space: a containable space

 

[KwanYingirl]

I’m in bed when I’m not working. My couch is not comfy and people can see inside my unit. I’ve just needed naps to break up my work day, so I’m usually asleep. The only downside to this is that my body is not getting anything physical and sometimes my joints ache

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I used to stay in my bed almost 24/7 because I was mostly bed ridden from chronic mental and physical misery and I just wanted to hide from the world. I slept as much as humanly possible, too, because it was as close as I could get to death without the commitment. It wasn't really a comfort zone at the time, although I told myself it was, but more like the only perceived safe zone I knew of and could mostly navigate with minimal issues, although I was surrounded by triggers for quite some time, most especially in the work place. That re-opened the little box of horrors known as my past that I thought for sure I'd long since "dealt with". Holy shit, what a ride.

Now I'm no longer in that work place, nor in that same home, and have my whole living space pretty much just as I need and like it, but I still choose the bedroom more often than not when indoors as my preferred "chill zone". The hubby has his space and I have mine, and we often meet somewhere in the middle outside of our usual hang time and such.

I have it set up with a seating/tiny desk area (as opposed to the usual sitting in bed with the laptop tray), an alter space of sorts on top of a dresser with a few favorite things I need to see/use each day, the bed, wind chimes within ear shot, the pillow fort I require to sleep comfortably, eye masks for helping to ensure a deeper sleep, the fan for white noise to soothe the central nervous system at night, and my mini-apothecary collection of oils, potions, sage, and other various knowtions that help get me through the day and night.

I don't do much TV, so we never bothered to put one in here, turn off the wireless each night before going to bed, have a salt lamp and lots of plants, too, like aloe vera, spider plant, devil's ivy, snake plant, rosemary, and sage. One of the downsides to feeling livelier than I did in those days is now I can't take a nap as randomly or frequently as before. I have to be dog tired, ill, or in pain to be able to lay down and sleep during the day, and I would have never ever thought that would be an issue for me.

When the weather warms up, much of my comfort stuff/exercise stuff/fun stuff goes outside with me and that becomes my new favorite chill zone. I've been scoping out thrift shops for an old daybed or futon thingy to somehow rig up in my favorite spot near the stream, or a hammock, although I'm not very graceful....lol. My current outdoor beds are moss....natures carpet....the garden beds...grow, babies, grow!...and a few exposed tree roots perfectly placed. Sorry for rambling.

I say find comfort and be content when and where ever you can, and nurture the shit out of yourself every chance you get. Try not to start "shoulding" on yourself in the process. I found that to be a hard damn habit to break.

 

[TruthSeeker]

interesting; my own inner response to this of panic. For me it's not just sleeping but privacy and the fe...

Mee said: I think it's the space: a containable space. This is it! I can identify! Containable is predictable. Predictable is safe. I don't think containable is normal.....but it feels good. I started putting a computer room together across the hall, I really need to finish that. Set up computer stuff there. Maybe after taxes get done this week! LOL

I used to stay in my bed almost 24/7 because I was mostly bed ridden from chronic mental and...

Good advice. Thanks.

 

[yes I feel that too]

i spend a lot of time in bed too. I try not to worry about if I feel happy that way. I read something with interest once about the four different energy types the thinking is we are all of the energy types but a certain one dominates and one of the energy types that they called Flowing and or wAter needs more alone time more rest and to not let anyone tell you that is bad for you because it’s honoring your needs seeking peace and processing.

 

[TruthSeeker]

i spend a lot of time in bed too. I try not to worry about if I feel happy that way. I read something with...

Well,
I'm not sure happy is how I describe it here in my bed. Maybe safer.....? Predictable? Warmer? But happy falls under the joy/contented category and I'm far from that. I think this is more survival serene....but a comfortable survival. I hope for more.

 

[frogthroat]

I think it's definitely depression. I used to rent just a room and I spent all my time that wasn't at work in bed since I had that and a nightstand. There was a closet. There was a shelf with a microwave and the bathroom was shared and it was in the hall. I didn't go outside much because it was in a bad neighborhood and you had to be careful so you didn't get robbed.
Since I moved and got a better job I have a two bedroom apartment. I still pretty much go to work and then come home and go to sleep but it's getting a little better. I just think it's a really bad habit and I don't how you feel but when things feel pretty meaningless it's easy to just fall asleep. Bed makes me feel anxious and lonely anymore which is a shame because I was finally able to buy a bedroom set but I digress. I think once you reach that level of sadness where it doesn't really matter what you do because it's like you're not even in your body it's hard to get out of.
Sometimes I get weirded out in my own apartment because I lived in such a small space for so long but I'm getting used to it.
Maybe try doing specific things outside of your bedroom. Maybe only do one thing for one week and then add a second thing the second week until you can just use your bed for sleeping.

 

[Mee]

Yes; this is NOT happiness nor fulfilment.


My hope today was to buy paint for a project I am doing ( in my room of course). But when my husband said he would take me I panicked badly.

I would really like to do this though. I think tomorrow I am just going to force myself too; even if I cry and have a flip out afterwards. Because it’s beyond silly and if I pander to this I cannot see what my future is going to be.

I go to therapy ok once a week. ( note: this involves some planning some might consider a little over the top; For example, I panic I won’t find parking nearby, so I allow myself no less than three quarters of an hour to find parking and walk if there is none close by. There has always been parking with in a ten minute walk.


I try to engage socially with local friend/s weekly or twoweekly. This week it was cancelled and I felt utter relief but I do enjoy myself when out (though I usually cry too - I cry A LOT now, It's almost habitual. My husband says I even cry in my sleep sometimes.

A friend sent me studies showing tears lower stress hormones, so it's positive ;).

I think frankly, it's inevitable. I am under stimulated, depressed by my circumstances andunfeeling a lot of Negativity about my failure to cope.

Tomorrow I am at least getting paint, on Monday I have therapy and on Tuesday I have an appointment. Three days going out in s row. I am going to try and get a handle on this.

 

[Mee]

TWO LAWNS CUT!

I didn’t do the neatest job , I didn’t do edges, but I actually cut the grass, outside. My partner was laughing at how fast I did the second one just now. But I did it . I also blocked the blade by rushing and he said he will clear it and put mower away .... so I can have another go later this week if I want

 

[frogthroat]

TWO LAWNS CUT!

Good for you. Being outside really feels good. I'm hoping the weather by me brightens up soon.

I think frankly, it's inevitable. I am under stimulated, depressed by my circumstances andunfeeling a lot of Negativity about my failure to cope.

It's hard to pull yourself out of that at first. My first month of therapy was exhausting because I was trying to get myself to do things again but now it's getting better and I'm gradually adding more things to do to my life.

I cry A LOT now, It's almost habitual.

I do too. It used to bother me but now it doesn't so much. I'm trying to think of other ways to relieve stress beside doing that and exercising because I clench the left side of my jaw so bad lately that I have alot of pressure on my ear and bad stiffness in my jaw and neck.

Glad to hear you're feeling better. It's beginning to do the little things again that lead to bigger even more fulfilling things.