Childhood Childhood "spanking" that caused ptsd and sexual trauma

[Breathe]

Breathe says this:


Which is a veery common phrase for describing sexual violations.

Dont you think people are allowed to make their own mind about the incident?

Because even the *settings* do not suggest everything was kosher, decent interactions, just misconstrued it entirely... like being at the dentist.

everyone here was mistreated or went through some kind of legitimate experience. It’s why we are here

 

[Chris-duck]

I do get free therapy through my school and I will give it a try of course but they may not necessarily be a good fit for me for ptsd and trauma

Worth a try really. And hopefully your experiences haven't given you PTSD, and even if they have sometimes a generic counsellor is enough at the start for stuff like coping skills.

 

[Jade-]

Omg ppl,just stop trying to gang up on me and give me a good reeming.

The OP has clearly stated how it was sexual in nature which wasn't clear to me before.I get it now.

Now plz just move on

 

[Breathe]

Worth a try really. And hopefully your experiences haven't given you PTSD, and even if they have sometimes a generic counsellor is enough at the start for stuff like coping skills.

I’m curious what your experience is if you feel like sharing. And where you feel you are it in recovery. If you don’t wish to go into it I completely understand

 

[Chris-duck]

I’m curious what your experience is if you feel like sharing. And where you feel you are it in recovery. If you don’t wish to go into it I completely understand

Uhhh hahhaa. Why are you curious about me specifically?

But whatever, diagnosed 14 years ago, bunch of Ts that I ditched when they got close to anything, decided maybe three years ago to fix my brain, had a bunch of DBT (coping skills basically), had trauma therapy til it ran out, now I'm on a waiting list for more of that fun stuff ?

 

[Breathe]

Uhhh hahhaa. Why are you curious about me specifically?

But whatever, diagnosed 14 years ago, bunch of Ts that I ditched when they got close to anything, decided maybe three years ago to fix my brain, had a bunch of DBT (coping skills basically), had trauma therapy til it ran out, now I'm on a waiting list for more of that fun stuff ?

I’m also curious about other people in this thread. But you were the last person I talked to and the one who mentioned therapy

 

[Sideways]

The OP described the babysitter as molesting them in their first post,

True, but the OP has also described this using language like ‘torture’ for this experience, perceives hitting their stuffed toys as patently indicative of abuse for a child, considers it self-evidently creepy that a babysitter would be an older male, and has self-diagnosed PTSD.

The OP also feels a level of discomfort about enjoying spanking in sexual contexts, despite this being incredibly normal sexual behaviour.

There’s a lot to emotionally unpack here for the OP, and I think probably only a T is qualified to do that. But not all of the OP’s conclusions are realistic, and a child being able to intuit that a person is feeling sexually aroused, when detailed descriptions fit just as closely with serious physical abuse consistent with, say, a disciplinarian gone crazy? Labelling something as sexual abuse, rather than physical abuse, when to me that label is playing into the OP’s present-day issues? IMO hat isn’t helpful.

Spanking that has turned into physical abuse? Happens. It is almost uniformly humiliating for the child. There’s a difference here to me between minimising and keeping the language reflective of the scenario actually described by the OP (as opposed to how the OP feels about the scenario - get help from a professional, but get help for the right thing, you know?).

 

[joeylittle]

@Breathe - you can be deeply upset by (haunted by, want relief from, etc.) a traumatizing experience, and still not have developed PTSD. There are other mental health problems that can stem from an event, and there are other kinds of maladaptive coping mechanisms that can form during one's developmental years - in other words, there are many different ways to understand the aftermath of horrible incidents besides just PTSD.

This is why it's really important that you try and get with a professional. Not so you can confirm a diagnosis - though that will be useful - but also so you can get to work with a professional on addressing the problems that are affecting your life, now.

You've mentioned struggling with issues around sexuality, and possibly relational issues in general. Are there any other phenomena you're experiencing that you'd say are disrupting your daily life to a significant degree?

 

[EveHarrington]

Because no where did you say anything about him not letting you go until he came.Or even anything similar

Wait. What???

Now molestation doesn’t “count” unless the perp cums?!?

Hold up.

This isn’t farther from the truth.

 

[Jade-]

Wait. What???

Now molestation doesn’t “count” unless the perp cums?!?

Hold up.

This isn’t farther from the truth.

Lol,omg you took that completely out of context.If you had taken the time to read what I was replying to you most likely would have understood that I was meaning the OP hadn't said anything specific about anything sexual being done,just talked about being spanked.And that's why I had been asking questions at the beginning of this thread,so I could understand what had happened.

I had to LOL at what you said because it was just ridiculous to me that anyone would even think I would believe or insinuate it's not molestation unless the perp cums

 

[Jade-]

True, but the OP has also described this using language like ‘torture’ for this experience, perceives hitting their stuffed toys as patently indicative of abuse for a child, considers it self-evidently creepy that a babysitter would be an older male, and has self-diagnosed PTSD.

The OP also feels a level of discomfort about enjoying spanking in sexual contexts, despite this being incredibly normal sexual behaviour.

There’s a lot to emotionally unpack here for the OP, and I think probably only a T is qualified to do that. But not all of the OP’s conclusions are realistic, and a child being able to intuit that a person is feeling sexually aroused, when detailed descriptions fit just as closely with serious physical abuse consistent with, say, a disciplinarian gone crazy? Labelling something as sexual abuse, rather than physical abuse, when to me that label is playing into the OP’s present-day issues? IMO hat isn’t helpful.

Spanking that has turned into physical abuse? Happens. It is almost uniformly humiliating for the child. There’s a difference here to me between minimising and keeping the language reflective of the scenario actually described by the OP (as opposed to how the OP feels about the scenario - get help from a professional, but get help for the right thing, you know?).

You said all this so well and exactly how I wish I could have expressed what I was trying to say

 

[Breathe]

Lol,omg you took that completely out of context.If you had taken the time to read what I was replying to you most likely would have understood that I was meaning the OP hadn't said anything specific about anything sexual being done,just talked about being spanked.And that's why I had been asking questions at the beginning of this thread,so I could understand what had happened.

I had to LOL at what you said because it was just ridiculous to me that anyone would even think I would believe or insinuate it's not molestation unless the perp cums

That's definitely not true. You could be fingered or groped or made to bounce on someones lap and still call it molestation even if he didn't come while he was doing it.