Doing better- Healing slowly

[Survivor3]

Trying to find and think about the positives is good way to think. Sometimes the only way forward.

 

[PamelaS]

I am not? One of my main coping mechanisms is to prove that I'm not a gentle person anymore, especially to someone as insignificant and undeserving as myself. Being considered gentle is very much close to being weak and easily controlled.

Think what I meant to say was simply things are obviously not alright but it's just under control enough I still have my freedom. As much as I hope I know realistically there is no otherside for people like me. I've come down to rock bottom so many times my life will simply end here one day.

Time for me to shut up now, I'm not really being helpful but it goes to show at least most people are doing better and to not end up like me I guess.

I’ve been there. Completely helpless. Tried to take my life four times. My son is on the spectrum and has been suicidal nearly his entire life. The other day he made a comment about being a child porn star. Breaks my heart. His birth father became a pedophile unbeknownst to me. I discovered it when my son was 3 1/2 years old. Being on the spectrum as a gift of the memories. He remembers every single thing. No one knows the future, but we can only hope that it will get better. Even though my son made another suicide attempt last week, it’s not on a daily basis, and we are both recovering from the hit much faster. Even the worst scenarios can have hope of a better future. When we’re in the middle of the muck and mire it’s hard to see that, but I have learned that I have to choose to believe in hope of a better future. That’s the only way that I can survive. I wish you well as you survive, and I am hoping for you that things will get better. When by little, fit by bed, one day at a time, always looking forward to a better future. It’s not completely hopeless and you are not condemned to live in bondage of what you’ve been through. I have also learned that since many people are not kind to me, if I want and need kindness, I need to give it to myself. Take good care of yourself.