How much therapy is *too much*?

[RubyBlue]

I’ve noticed there are a lot of people who go for multiple times a week for years on end and as nice as that can sound, doesn’t it hinder things?

I mean the point of therapy is of course trauma healing, but to also be able to cope with life and triggers on your own right?

I can see it being useful during an acute crisis, but longer than that feels like it would foster an unhealthy dependence on the therapist.

 

[TruthSeeker]

I’ve noticed there are a lot of people who go for multiple times a week for years on end and as nice as that can sound, doesn’t it hinder things?

I mean the point of therapy is of course trauma healing, but to also be able to cope with life and triggers on your own right?

I can see it being useful during an acute crisis, but longer than that feels like it would foster an unhealthy dependence on the therapist.

YUP! Right on!

 

[Ronin]

IME too much is if it does more harm than good, or destabilizes and doesn't stabilize after.

As to dependence...
Sure.
But many people have only the therapist (s) as solid points of contact, or someone to talk through life...

And some people may have enough complex trauma that ongoing frequent therapy is required, for a *basic* stabilization.

It's different issues.
Some people need ICU-level therapy...
While others are good with preventative 6mo checks, or blips here and there when they're symptomatic.

 

[ladee]

Because I had to start from scratch, and be shown how to even have normal feelings, took years. Or to take the time to even see there were many feelings that 'could' happen between my feelings and my reaction. I was being taught, by a paid professional, things that no one bothered to teach me when it was needed.

My first T, who I saw for five years, was present for what should have been taught to me in the first place. And she had the added job and being present when I was 'unlearning' that the way I began was not how I was going to end up.

Thru the years I had different T's for more specified issues and growth. But the whole time, by all of them, I was being taught how to be in the world, on my own. I've had PTSD my entire life. So they, bless their hearts, had their work cut out for them. Thank the Universe they committed to my life for long periods of time. They showed me how to pick up the pieces and make a good human being.

Just my experience. I haven't seen a T in over 20 years because they gave me the tools that I didn't have. But would go back in a heartbeat if I felt I needed to.

 

[Rainman8772]

YUP! Right on!

Couldn’t agree more. During a tough time go as much as you need. I only go once every month when not in a crisis and only because the PDoc requires it.

 

[Friday]

I’ve noticed there are a lot of people who go for multiple times a week for years on end and as nice as that can sound, doesn’t it hinder things?

You’re also looking at

1) Vastly different trauma histories.

• Some people have a single event.
• Some people have roughly the same trauma repeated hundreds/thousands/tens of thousands of times over years & decades.
• Some people have wildly different traumas, in wildly different numbers.

So it would follow that if a single rape, or car accident, or kidnapping could take someone up to a couple of years to fully process? That people with longer histories, or more varied histories, might take some more time to fully process their trauma?

2) Different baseline neurology... read comorbid disorders.

• Some of which require lifelong care, and whilst many people prefer to see a specialist in that area? Many others are dealing wih their 2 disorders playing off of each other, and prefer to see a trauma therapist with experience in their comorbid condition.
• Many of which make the “crutch” meds that most people can take to stabilize their lives on the short term, so that they can approach trauma therapy quickly, not an option for them.

3) Different socioeconomic status / Real life support / Life skills / Life situations

• Someone who has an income and a home and a relatively healthy life, for example, could pretty much start trauma therapy “immediately”. The only stabilization that’s needed is mental/emotional. It very rarely takes someone longer than a year to learn the basic skills necessary to proceed with trauma therapy.
• Someone who has lost everything, first has to acquire the ability to support themselves... which often takes up to several years.
• Someone whose coping mechanisms have resulted in addictions, eating disorders, illness/injury, has at least two problems -if not more- that will require their own timelines to sort out, adding to the time frame it’s going to take them to sort their trauma.
• Someone whose trauma has resulted in severe physical injury, is often looking at least a couple/few years of ongoing medical care/treatment/recovery. Ditto those who -just unlucky- are spending the next couple years dealing with cancer, or other unrelated illness/injury.

 

[Changing4Best]

I have been in therapy for the better part of my life. I have been in mental hospitals more times than I can remember. I have three mental health conditions. I have had a very serious suicide attempt and I trust my Drs to tell me if they think I can make it on my own. They have not even hinted at such a thing, so I figure I will be in therapy for the rest of my life and that makes me feel safe.

 

[Movingforward10]

When I started therapy I was naive and thought that 6-8 sessions and I'd be fixed! 20 sessions later and we're really just getting started...! If that...!
And I don't care. My need to fix things immediately no longer works and it will take as long as it takes.
(I think I'm ok with this. Sort of. Maybe.)

 

[whiteraven]

This is definitely an individual thing. I've been in therapy off-and-on since I was about 16 - one of the things I learned was that I have to listen to my gut when it comes to therapy and whether or not I should go. There were definitely therapists I should not have seen, even when they insisted, because they did me more damage than good. I took a significant break - almost 10 years - and I have to say I did better. I shook the dependence and wasted a lot less time only working through stuff. For me, it was very destabilizing. Right now I am sure I should stop for a while, but I'm afraid to lose the support.

 

[Ireusa]

I was in therapy for about 9 years from 8 years old to 17 years old, he was not a good fit and contributed to me feeling shame. Stopped therapy. Repressed/forgot about everything.

Picked it up again almost 3 years ago -18 years after I stopped- when I started having flashbacks after getting triggered. This time I wanted to go and it was specialized trauma therapy. Been going for once a week.

I'm coming to terms with the idea that I might be in therapy long term. Uncovering lots of stuff. Still go once a week but I wish I could go twice a week for a while so I could work harder on stuff (also because many sessions for most of the session we just have to work on grounding when getting triggered as I struggle with dissociation so it feels like it's taking me 10x as long to work on things). However, financially I can't afford twice a week.

 

[grit]

It depends on the person and their economy. There are people who can t even afford but need one.
As for personal level, I have been in therapy and group for three yrs now and even thinking I will try pure psychoanalysis cause I need to recover few wrinkles I am noticing.
I learned a lot of developmental things I did not learn growing up but developed compsentory structures to adapt. So I am lucky in that but need to understand that

As for fear of dependency on therapy, that itself should be dealt with to accept we all depend on others to help us with life but not to breathe. People we love and depend die so we learn to depend but yet be mature adult. No shame in depending... So that is a valid reason for therapy... Accepting dependence is an area I had developed compsentory structure without having foundations from childhood cause I disassociated from my mother rather than depending and counting on her.
I had similar feelings in the past and my feeling at the was I needed more therapy. Cause otherwise, the conflict of should I stay or terminate therapy should be easy for me to bring it to therapy.
Hope this helps.

 

[Freida]

Ya, I've been going twice a week for three years. Two different therapists - one who works on coping with today and the other works on trauma with emdr. If you had told me when I started this journey 5 years ago that I would be writing that I would have told you that you were nuts. :laugh: My first t told me I was probably going to be looking at years of recovery because I won the "holy crap that's a bunch of traumas lottery" and I told her I didn't have that kind of time to waste yammering about my issues. I had a life to get back to. sigh Fast forward -- still working on it. And yep -- it totally sucks and often makes me feel like a total loser who can't get her shit together.

The idea of dependence on the therapist or using them as a crutch is valid -- something that a good t will keep an eye on so that it doesn't develop. After all, a good T's goal is to get you functioning and to a place you don't need them anymore. But sometimes you just have way more to work thru than you ever thought you would and every time one issue gets resolved another pops up and smacks you in the head. That's when you and your T have to work on acknowledging the victories along the way because otherwise it begins to feel totally hopeless. Which can also lead to the need for going more often than "normal" because there has to be some kind of balance or the traumas will swallow you up.