I realize that the biggest reason for my existence may be being forgiven over and over and not given up on by God, and some people. Existing so others could witness that, and so I could experience it myself. Of learning I can screw up everything, have done awful things, not accomplished what I should, be hated, be told what I have done or not done (sometimes very justifiably), been a round peg in a square world, lost all vestiges of hope, and yet still be here, supported and not given up on. I think that when I have let go or turned away from any hand, I have been held on to nonetheless, sometimes it felt like from the back of my shirt collar. Very very lucky, no one including God Himself was required to do it. I would make a good patron for the screw ups, the hopeless, the broken hearted. (Said in jestbut Ctually meant in earnest).
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