I'm still struggling with not contacting him. I have sent him a few emails since he's been overseas and have gotten no response. I have no idea if he even reads them. He blocked me on Facebook, so he may have blocked my email as well. I have to force myself to not contact him again, but I still hold out hope he will be in touch someday. I don't understand how someone goes from saying I love you to never speaking to you again, but he was special ops and has been trained to shut off emotions when he wants. I wish I understood all this when we were together and wonder if things would have turned out differently. Although I think it's very unfair he wouldn't give me some grace when I was just learning. It's just very hard to develop a relationship when he is gone for 6 months and then is only home for 3 weeks.
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Relationship Is It Ptsd Or Does He Really Not See A Future?
- Post starter JM318
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J
JM_318
Endure,
Maybe it is just easier for him to get through what he needs to get through so he blocked you..... For now. Everyone copes differently but don't think for a second he's forgotten about you. Every day is hard, I lost mine for 6 months and he came back. Now we're back to no contact again. It takes a strong person to be in our shoes but if you KNOW he loves you, just love him from afar and he will come back. I keep telling myself the same.
Joanna xox
TerriB8511
Bronze Member
@Endure My BF has unfollowed me on Instagram. Said it made him too sad and upset. I am struggling with the same thing. He went from FaceTime with me one night to the following day saying he couldn't do it anymore and needed space. I wish I knew what to do. But I'm giving him space he needs. It's all I can do right now, even though I miss my best friend terribly.
I really think sometimes they don't tell us what all is going on. I have discovered his dad and him are no longer FB friends and his mother "liked" the picture his ex wife just posted of her with her new boyfriend. His mom is not "friends" with him. I now wonder if there was stress and pressure I wasn't aware of. The first time he left me it was issues over the ex and he was so stressed he he blocked me on FB. He's obviously not capable of a relationship and possibly even with his own parents. I love him and have always tried to let him know I'm here for him, but it's never going to be good enough until he helps himself. And going back to Afghanistan as a contractor is probably the worst thing he could have done.
Since my last post we have been seeing each other, he texts or rings everyday and is always the first to text. We spent the afternoon few nights together and been getting on really well and I've been trying to give him space he needs and not push him. We had a holiday booked for October and he's been talking about us still going. I thought all of this was a good sign then since Monday he has been quiet and distant again which makes me really sad I don't know what to do for the best but I miss him terribly and all I want to do is tell him I miss him and want to be with him but I know pushing him won't do any good. I dunno what the right thing to do is.
TerriB8511
Bronze Member
It's so hard when all you want to do is love them and they can't accept it. It's been a week without any contact with my BF. It hurts so much. But I know he is hurting even more, so I just try to remind myself of that. Every text and phone call that isn't him hurts just a little bit more. I'm glad we have all found each other though because without support, I'd be a raving lunatic.
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- Post starter
- #31
Char,
It's not about you. Just give him space and he will reach out when he's ready. Easier said than done, I try to convince myself every day to just reach out but I don't because I know he won't think of it the same way I do. I don't want to be the reason he's stressing out. When he's ready he knows how to find me.
Joanna xox
- Post starter
- #32
I need advice,
My close friends Mother passed away from cancer yesterday morning. I want the support from my sufferer but I know now is not a good time for him with the start of therapy and all. I've been giving him space for the last few weeks so we haven't talked at all. I did text the other day just mentioning the meteor shower (bc universe was our thing) and he did respond and said "Yeah I saw it online". I didn't respond back, I guess I'm happy he was even willing to text me back even if it wasn't anything heartfelt.
So today I texted him again saying I had bad news and asking for him to call when he had a moment. I noticed he was on Facebook, so he clearly read my message but he hasn't called or responded. I just wanted to be on the same page, tell him when the services were and if he wanted to go together, separate or not at all, I just wanted to be prepared for it. Should I have not texted him? Or is he just scared to know what bad news I have to share? Or is he just preparing himself before he calls? Idk what to think.
My close friends Mother passed away from cancer yesterday morning. I want the support from my sufferer but I know now is not a good time for him with the start of therapy and all. I've been giving him space for the last few weeks so we haven't talked at all. I did text the other day just mentioning the meteor shower (bc universe was our thing) and he did respond and said "Yeah I saw it online". I didn't respond back, I guess I'm happy he was even willing to text me back even if it wasn't anything heartfelt.
So today I texted him again saying I had bad news and asking for him to call when he had a moment. I noticed he was on Facebook, so he clearly read my message but he hasn't called or responded. I just wanted to be on the same page, tell him when the services were and if he wanted to go together, separate or not at all, I just wanted to be prepared for it. Should I have not texted him? Or is he just scared to know what bad news I have to share? Or is he just preparing himself before he calls? Idk what to think.
EveHarrington
VIP Member
I'd never drop a line that says "I have bad news". For all he knows you want to dump him. If I was told "I have bad news", I'd probably isolate harder or push you away (perhaps permanently) or cut and run as fast as I can.
In general I don't think it's ever a good idea to message someone saying "I have bad news" as it's extremely vague and could mean anything from a minor "I stubbed my toe" to "somebody died". The random factor in all of this adds a tonne of unnecessary stress.
In general I don't think it's ever a good idea to message someone saying "I have bad news" as it's extremely vague and could mean anything from a minor "I stubbed my toe" to "somebody died". The random factor in all of this adds a tonne of unnecessary stress.
- Post starter
- #34
- Post starter
- #35
I doubt permanently but he may have pushed away further, should I just send another text to just tell him about our friends mother?
- Post starter
- #36
Also, I may add, my thought process was in a different place. If things were normal and he wasn't isolating I would have just called him myself and he knows if anything important like that happened I wouldn't just text him about it to tell him, I would call. I guess I just didn't think all the way through before sending the text but I'd like to say something again to fix it
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