Leaving The Forum Because Of Opinions!

[anthony]

A member raised a very good point with me about how they don't really understand how a person could leave a forum merely because they disagree with anothers opinion. I must agree, in that it baffles me. What this member did though, is cause me to think why, and for the very reason they mentioned, in that they read what is written, and choose what to respond, if at all, then it comes down to a self esteem issue really.

To discuss something equitably is to generally have a sense of self confidence and esteem, which means a person can accept others opinions, then choose for themselves whether they agree or disagree, though the self esteem side comes into play within the response or action from those opinions of another. Regardless what anyone says to another person, if they are conscious of having a good self esteem, then words cannot hurt, because the interpretation would only reflect that that is their opinion, and not the opinion of myself.

Opinions are great, and society works upon them. Where things go wrong, is when people become argumentative towards trying to sway others into thinking or believing that their opinion is the right one, instead of being allowed to choose for themselves. If one person says something to another, and the respondant disagree's with their opinion, then the person asking that question would accept and value that response for being their opinion, their right to choice, and not try and change them. Saying that, the person responding should also not try and change the other, but merely provide their point of view based on their opinion.

What is an opinion? It is a persons beliefs, understanding, education, and lots more. If we provide fact, then fact outweighs opinion, and a self esteem if high enough, would accept that and take that fact onboard, which would then derive a new opinion based on learning that education. Opinions can change others opinions also, if made to be interpreted sensibly, with commonsense and logic behind them, factual or not. The issue though lay with each and every person to their choice. Their choice is often a reflection of their self esteem.

If a person walked up to you and called you ugly for example, then if you had a low self esteem and took their words to heart, you would easily get offended, but if you had a high self esteem and self confidence, then their words would not mean anything to you, because you already know within yourself that you are a beautiful person, regardless what another thinks. Yes, the person who says it can determine a words worth, being those close to you who you trust, opposed to a stranger.

I will conclude though, that a persons action and choice is a definate representation of their self esteem. Low to medium self esteem, aggressive and argumentative; high self esteem, water of a ducks back because you believe what you want, and you already know what matters to you, regardless what another says.

What do you think about these type actions? This doesn't even apply to just a forum, but life in general I believe.

 

[Deleted member 93]

I think opinions are based on one's knowledge of facts. I cannot argue and will watch "debates" amongst those who actually have them. Sure I may have my own opinion but when someone has more facts than I, I am willing to listen and learn. If I know more about something... Like say how to make a chicken fried steak or a real taco compared to a fast food joint style, well I do know more and will argue it.

But I am open minded to things I do not have facts on. I wish all were that way but not life. I think the getting mad and trying to shove an opinion down one's throat is wrong but hey people get that way too. It would be like me doing a study on concentration camps and think I have all the facts and argue with someone who lived it. I can believe what I want, but you have to be open to facts and not take it as a personal attack. I will not pretend to be holier than though and say some shit said I do take personal. But when I know a fact with no doubt I will argue it. My take... Yes self esteem. You need and self included when you learn assertiveness you need to bring down aggression you may have or been taught, or learn as you develop it not to come across aggressive. It is a hard one to learn but we all can.

 

[anthony]

Just went and grabbed this from the wikipedia, which is handy to know:

An opinion is a person's ideas and thoughts towards something. It is an assessment, judgment or evaluation of something. An opinion is not a fact, because opinions are either not falsifiable, or the opinion has not been proven or verified.

I like that explanation of an opinion...

 

[mac]

Opinions are based on perception and perception is reality and this reality is truth even if its not the actual truth. :biggrin: How's that grab you?

 

[mac]

IMO, I don't think anyone should leave the forum because they disagree with someone else's opinion.

"That is why this will be my final post on this forum."

But if this is how you feel, then don't let the door hit you on the way out.

 

[mouse]

OK I am sorry I dont want to get involed in this but I agree that everyone has an opinion and I fell you dont half to like ther opinion not even agree, my only issue is that I read som ost and they sdidnt semm to be event oriented they seemed to start that way but quicklel becmae a venting site. those upset could have walked away yes but they had an opinion to, I for one would have walkewd awas aftre post number 2, then out of couriosity I read more and I was disgusted at the aggression levels sent to others and the sthing said . I thouhgt I was reading reading a grade 1 post . political or even current event opinions arre great and are healthy but we dont need to get overly pesonal in fact it is healthy ro argue opinions but as a healing forum let make more of an effot, Thank yo Anthony for your realizations that we have lost 3 eally good support of peopl eover 1 post --seeems a shame

 

[anthony]

I like that mac... interesting way to look at the meaning in a definitive manner.

What this is, is a self esteem session in which a persons true self esteem can be shown to them, yes, I do have hidden agendas. For those that read and participate in political discussion without aggression, and those that can read and not respond if you feel you would flame, not express your opinion, then you just found out and showed to yourself that you have increased your self esteem levels. I do things for a reason, and I let threads run their course for a reason, even though some think they are a recipe for disaster. I can see that, but I am more interested on the broader scale, so people will truly reveal themselves for who they are, what they believe, and hopefully show themselves that they have a higher self esteem and confidence than they perceive they do. It is working... and yes, I am deceptive in things I do, but as I have said to people before, if I do something here, or let something go, I generally do it for a reason, and that reason is more to the point to help people help themselves.

 

[mac]

So Anthony, what did you gather from my posts? This ought to be interesting... I'm ready:thumbs-up

 

[Deleted member 93]

I think I caught that...

 

[GR-ass]

I think everyone is entitled to their own opinions. If you don't agree with some one's opinion you should still respect it.


Of course it works both ways.

 

[anthony]

I like how you derive an opinion, "Opinions are based on perception and perception is reality and this reality is truth even if its not the actual truth" because that is a very good way in which to see what an opinion is. Its not fact, its not fiction, it is the belief or truth a person giving the opinion perceives. I like how you put it... hell, I understood that better than the wikipedia version mate.

 

[mac]

Thanks Anthony. That's my own quote, although I would never have been able to say it like I wrote it.