ms spock
VIP Member
Though you don't like what the meditation teacher said, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. I would suggest that her feedback is accurate @DogwoodTree. But this is nothing to be upset, ashamed or upset about - it is not you that is wrong - it is the poor experiences that you have lived through that get you to dissociate that are the problem.
What this teacher is talking about is a real thing - doing dissociated meditation can be a pretty bad thing to do and can make your much, much worse - so at least she has enough skill to let your know this. But it doesn't mean you can't do any meditation.
Or maybe the teacher is accurate when she referred you back to your T, maybe the teacher picked up that you have unresolved issues that are contraindicated for meditation practices. Maybe working with your T for a year or so would resolve your issues and you can then begin to meditation safely. Maybe you need to learn to ground and centre before you do meditation. I wouldn't personalise it though.
I personally did my first suicide attempt after doing an eight week mindfulness course - it amplified the suicidal ideation, and it left me more dissociated, and in a pretty bad way. Because I was doing it unskillfully from where I was - it was not helpful. The teacher did not have the skills to see it was making me much worse - they had a blind faith in the practices. This was almost lethal for me.
I am not a mindfulness teacher or meditation teacher, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.
I think the teacher was honest that she doesn't have the level of skill that you need and that is something to be very grateful about. Unaware teachers can cause students quite a bit of damage. She is end gaining with the meditation - and that is really not meant to be the way of it. So now you can look for a teacher that is more appropriate from where you are starting from. It is always good if professionals know that they don't have the skills to assist you to refer you on - that is a good thing. At least she was skilled enough to know she is not nuanced enough to assist you.
It can be quite dangerous to start practices in certain mind frames - so you have to be able to take care of yourself a bit more perhaps?
Walking meditation is good for those with depersonalisation, derealisation and dissociation. I would go for someone who has dissociation of doing mindfulness/meditation for more being in the present - and that is as good as practice as the going in side - apparently over time if you keep with the practice you will go through all these stages anyway.
So you would need to do a lot of grounding, centering and being present in this moment - so a reasonable teacher would keep you focused on developing that for you for a few years.
I suffer from profound dissociation and meditation/mindfulness can make it much worse. So learning ways that work for you are really important. I have spent some years learning what is appropriate for me.
"The Mindful Way Through Depression" by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn has some of the ways to protect yourself from a ruminating mind. And it has warnings about not starting to do meditation when you are in a clinical depression. I have found it very helpful, it might not apply to your situation at all, but it is a suggestion.
I was listening to Mark Williams the other day describe Mindfulness and he is a great speaker for "The Mindfulness Summit 2015" which you can join for free and he did make a point of saying that Mindfulness is not the panacea for everything. He has spent his life doing research and his own practices, and he is wise enough to see it won't solve every problem. His talk will be up for the whole month.
Also if you can't discern your own distorted cognitions - then meditation is certainly not the way to go until you have learnt those skills. It can be dangerous to reinforce your own rumination.
If you are not living in a safe place, if you have lots of unprocessed trauma, if you are living in domestic violence, if you have self hatred that you are not able to address, if you are internalising, if you cannot manage to see your own thoughts, feelings, perceptions or patterns are distorted, any number of things that are happening for you, might mean it is not the time to begin meditation - it does not mean, by any stretch of the situation, that you are too screwed up - it just means there are other steps to be taken before you get there.
What this teacher is talking about is a real thing - doing dissociated meditation can be a pretty bad thing to do and can make your much, much worse - so at least she has enough skill to let your know this. But it doesn't mean you can't do any meditation.
Or maybe the teacher is accurate when she referred you back to your T, maybe the teacher picked up that you have unresolved issues that are contraindicated for meditation practices. Maybe working with your T for a year or so would resolve your issues and you can then begin to meditation safely. Maybe you need to learn to ground and centre before you do meditation. I wouldn't personalise it though.
I personally did my first suicide attempt after doing an eight week mindfulness course - it amplified the suicidal ideation, and it left me more dissociated, and in a pretty bad way. Because I was doing it unskillfully from where I was - it was not helpful. The teacher did not have the skills to see it was making me much worse - they had a blind faith in the practices. This was almost lethal for me.
I am not a mindfulness teacher or meditation teacher, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.
I think the teacher was honest that she doesn't have the level of skill that you need and that is something to be very grateful about. Unaware teachers can cause students quite a bit of damage. She is end gaining with the meditation - and that is really not meant to be the way of it. So now you can look for a teacher that is more appropriate from where you are starting from. It is always good if professionals know that they don't have the skills to assist you to refer you on - that is a good thing. At least she was skilled enough to know she is not nuanced enough to assist you.
It can be quite dangerous to start practices in certain mind frames - so you have to be able to take care of yourself a bit more perhaps?
Walking meditation is good for those with depersonalisation, derealisation and dissociation. I would go for someone who has dissociation of doing mindfulness/meditation for more being in the present - and that is as good as practice as the going in side - apparently over time if you keep with the practice you will go through all these stages anyway.
So you would need to do a lot of grounding, centering and being present in this moment - so a reasonable teacher would keep you focused on developing that for you for a few years.
I suffer from profound dissociation and meditation/mindfulness can make it much worse. So learning ways that work for you are really important. I have spent some years learning what is appropriate for me.
"The Mindful Way Through Depression" by Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, Jon Kabat-Zinn has some of the ways to protect yourself from a ruminating mind. And it has warnings about not starting to do meditation when you are in a clinical depression. I have found it very helpful, it might not apply to your situation at all, but it is a suggestion.
I was listening to Mark Williams the other day describe Mindfulness and he is a great speaker for "The Mindfulness Summit 2015" which you can join for free and he did make a point of saying that Mindfulness is not the panacea for everything. He has spent his life doing research and his own practices, and he is wise enough to see it won't solve every problem. His talk will be up for the whole month.
Also if you can't discern your own distorted cognitions - then meditation is certainly not the way to go until you have learnt those skills. It can be dangerous to reinforce your own rumination.
If you are not living in a safe place, if you have lots of unprocessed trauma, if you are living in domestic violence, if you have self hatred that you are not able to address, if you are internalising, if you cannot manage to see your own thoughts, feelings, perceptions or patterns are distorted, any number of things that are happening for you, might mean it is not the time to begin meditation - it does not mean, by any stretch of the situation, that you are too screwed up - it just means there are other steps to be taken before you get there.
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