Needing Strength When Husband Is Away

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@RussH - Thank you. Once again, your words a perfect.

 

[RussH]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve How do you make your smoothies?
I have been making them lately I like to blend a varity of fruits with vanilla yogurt and either wine, or ocassionally rum; just enough for taste.
I will freqently blend one mango, strawberries, blueberries, a peach and two bananas with the yogurt and sweet wine.

Also, I am glad my words helped. It is what friends do.
I have read some of the post you have written to others, and you are doing a good job of helping others.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@RussH - I use a variety of frozen fruits (mango and berries are the most popular choices in this house). I used to used flavored yogurt, but to cut down on sugar (at tiny bit) I am using plain yogurt. It makes it taste a bit odd to me, but I focus on the fruit and it's good. I like to use frozen fruit to make it more like ice cream. No alcohol in mine as I share with the boys.

Thanks for your comment on saying that I am helping others. I hope to help others as others are helping me. It's what this forum is about, right?

 

[RussH]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve Today is day five. Did you survive the storms ok? When you get the chance, if it is still morning, get your coffee, and look out the window. Is the sun shining? Even if it is a cloudy day the sun is still shining.:) Today is a day full of good possibilities. I just want to encourage you to look for the good, positive things that fill up your life today, and simply enjoy the day.

Try not to stress that your husband is away on business, and simply focus on the task at hand. If you have the day off, and if the weather is nice, take your kids to the park and have a picnic.

I guess what I am ultimately saying is; I hope you have a wonderful day.

 

[littlelostchild]

Only two days left! Woo hoo, you are almost there, and managing nicely.

I wanted to ask if you have tried blowing bubbles with the boys when you feel like you can't breathe. Kids usually love bubbles and it helps regulate breathing for those of us who need it.

I can almost picture watering the garden and the boys - lol - I bet they loved it.

I hope the storm passed you by or wasn't too bad. Enjoy today and have fun with the boys again.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@RussH - Made it through the night and got about 4 hours of sleep so that's better than none. No coffee for me- yuck! However, I am going out to breakfast with a friend after we drop the boys off at daycare. It is raining lightly and I am enjoying that sound. I am a teacher and I am off all summer for the most part!

@littlelostchild - Bubbles- I always forget about bubbles. Great idea. I will try to remember that if it happens again. My therapist even gave me bubbles for that purpose. No garden, just the lawn (it's new). But watering a garden sounds great for next summer- a definite goal of mine and of the rest of my family.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Day Five: Made it through another day. I did not want to get out of bed. It was hard to get to sleep last night. I had nightmares and both sons woke me up at different times. My oldest put his face right in front of mine and said "When are the storms coming?" The other one was crying for me a couple of times most likely because of bad dreams. Today was another daycare day for my boys. They had fun there. I had breakfast with a friend and then we hung out for a while. That time was great. After she left, I had 2 hours before my therapy appointment. I sorted through/unpacked stuff in my office. I think I am nearing completion. Then, I immersed myself in a project and almost forgot to leave for therapy. Took the boys and myself out for ice cream again, but at a less stimulating place and closer to home so it went better. Saw our neighbors and said hi to them when we got home. My little one tripped over his bag and fell in the driveway. Huge bump on his head and is scraped up. I don't know how, but I didn't totally freak out over that one. I am worried and I am paranoid that something worse happened and I won't know it, but that is "normal" anxiety for me- it's not overwhelming me or controlling me so it's not too bad. I survived another bathing of the boys and got them fed and into bed. One more day.

 

[RussH]

Good for you. I am glad you had an overall good day. I pray that you will get a good night's sleep.
As for you little on falling and bumping his head. I think worrying, or at least considering something worse might have happened is what most parents would do, but good for you for not freaking out.

Just out of curosity; how do you handle your PTSD and teaching? You don't to answer if you don't want to.

Anyway congratulations on getting through day 5

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

@RussH - Most of the time teaching is when I can just forget everything else about who I am. I love teaching and I get immersed. That's not to say I didn't struggle last year. I am currently trying to figure out a way to gain coping skills to help me through so that I can do better next year. There was only one time that my anger crossed over into the classroom realm. I completely freaked out, it had been a bad morning and I had come in late to teaching. After another break (which was thankfully lunch/recess time), I came back in and asked the kids if they had had a bad day before. They were completely understanding and forgiving.

When I was triggered before school or during school, I hid out in the principal's office. She was super understanding and as supportive as she could be. We're changing my schedule next year to hopefully make it easier if I have to be out. I took one day a week off for 6 weeks around the anniversary time and that worked really well. I struggled at the end of the year and I think that must be another anniversary time. Now that I have been through one year of teaching with PTSD, I know certain things that will help and I know areas I need to work on. I feel pressure to be "all better" by next school year. I need to win back the popularity of the community because parents just don't understand teacher absences. I wanted to quit at times, but I love it too much and it is one of the most rewarding parts of my life, so for now there's no way I am quitting. Hope that helps answer your question a little bit.

 

[littlelostchild]

You are into the home stretch with just one more day and it sounds like today went well, aside from the trip and fall, but those happen on he best of days.

I wish you a great day tomorrow.

 

[RussH]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve Yes that does, and I bet you are a good teacher. I will never forget two of my teachers: Mrs. Marshall my sixth grade teacher, and Mrs. Dutton, the math teacher at my high school.

I grew up in the deep south and I am white. Mrs. Marshall was the first african-american teacher that I had as a teacher. Shortly after school started she started calling me "Little brother". It was a term of endearment she gave me, and even as I write this, I have tears in my eyes.

My life had been somewhat tramatic. The bullying had started, I was kept back in the sixth grade, I had to change schools because on desegration, so I am now in a school with absolutly nobody I know, my father's alcholism was getting worse, and then her comes Mrs. Marshall.

Mrs. Marshall really made me feel welcomed in her class, and loved. What a great lady. I honestly don't remember very much of that year, I just remember this wonderful teacher taking this small, insecure, white boy, and giving him hugs and making him feel loved, and giving him the nick-name Litttle Brother. That is one of the only nick-names that I can think of, and get a smile on my face.
Mrs. Dutton was a strict, but compassionate teacher. For some reason I just always like her, and it was in her class that I finally had my melt down from all the bullying I had been subjected to. It was that day that a part of me died, and I developed PTSD.

Although the PTSD did not manifest itself for several years, that is when it developed. I have always thought very highly of Mrs Dutton, and how well she treated each of the students.

J, I suspect you are the kind of teacher that, years from now, your students will look back on you with great fondness.

I am glad you enjoy teaching so much; that you love it. When a teacher loves teaching it makes it so much easier for the students to learn. And I have no doubt that your love for your family, for teaching and for your students will help you overcome all the negative things this world has given you.

Perhaps some day you will be able to use your experience as a PTSD sufferer, to help others understand it better.

I will also offer something to you. If you want to use me, my story, to educate your fellow educators on the terrible long-term effects of bullying so they will better understand they need to protect kids in school, I will be more than willing to answer any questions and give you any information you need.

Sleep well my friend, and have a wonderful day tomorrow.

 

[RussH]

@JEKBreatheandBelieve I woke up early this morning as was looking over the forum, and just wanted to wish you a good morning and a wonderful day six. Anything special planned for today? If the weather is nice, so you can go outside, then find some flowers to smell, and just take some time to enjoy their beauty.
I pray these next two days will be very positive days for you, and you will be able to truly enjoy youself, and make progress on your journey to wellness.
Just know that I will be thinking about you throughtout the day, and looking forward to your post later tonight. Remember you are not alone, we are all with you.