General Now He Thinks I Am Not Trustworthy...

[sarah]

twisted

When I re-read thru this topic...I really am thinking...is this me? Do I really let myself live like this...its so surreal...What a twisted mind my hubby has...what to do...

 

[becvan]

but, something tells me in the back of my head that he was just fishing for something to break us apart...I told him that this is just the easy way out for him...and he tells me not to say that because how can he work something out w/ someone he doesn't trust now?
:frown:

Wow, I just read that and went OMG is she quoting me?? LOL.

I said the EXACT same thing to my partner two months ago. I had a complete flip-out and refused to listen to anything he had to say. It was a most horrible time. Thankfully, he worked through it with me (actually waited patiently for me to apologize and ask him to ignore my break up with him, is more like it) and we are working through it. It took this for me to recognize that my trust issues are not because of his actions, rather because of my previous experiences and PTSD. It took almost a month of being split before I could see this though. We are talking more openly about it now and I think it actually helped in the long run. I can't imagine what I put the poor sod through!

The best part of it was his stubborness about it all. He just refused to accept me leaving. So hang with it.

Bec

 

[Deleted member 3]

The best part of it was his stubborness about it all. He just refused to accept me leaving. So hang with it.

Bec,

You could have quoted my husband. Many times on this forum you will see him refer to my stubborness about his leaving rubbish. He told me plenty of times in the past to go or that he was leaving, I used to respond to this by telling him that I loved him and that if he wanted to leave he could, but I wasn't going anywhere. Its hard to stay and hard to go you just have to do what is right for you.

 

[becvan]

Bec,

You could have quoted my husband. Many times on this forum you will see him refer to my stubborness about his leaving rubbish. He told me plenty of times in the past to go or that he was leaving, I used to respond to this by telling him that I loved him and that if he wanted to leave he could, but I wasn't going anywhere. Its hard to stay and hard to go you just have to do what is right for you.

Ackkk, I just realized what "hang with it" sounded like. (why does your brain shut off when sick??) That was not what I meant! Meaning do what is right for you, and hang with that.. :crazy:

Isn't it interesting how we all have similar stories? I've been noticing (since lurking your spouses thread) that the spouses all seem to have many of the same qualities just like we, with PTSD, have the same?

I'm still amazed at how all of you put up with all of us! (btw: Kerri-Annglad to hear your move went well, and slow down there!! )

Bec

 

[Deleted member 3]

Bec,

Defies logic doesn't it. Must be love, there is no other rational reason why we would stay for this journey. What makes it worse for me is that in a funny kind of a way, this shared journey has allowed/forced me to look at issues within myself which needed improvement and growth. Its undeniably hard sometimes and often you wish for peace or normalcy (whatever that is) but one thing you can say is that it is never boring!!

As for the move........thank god it is over. We have a nicer house and the rent is cheaper, figure that one out. As for babe on the way, I am trying to take it lot easier which is keeping Anthony off my case. In fact I have just woken up from a 3 hour nap - very unlike me!

 

[Kells]

Wow, what a terrible thing to say to the mother of your child... He has no right to say such verbally abusive things regardless to how much the PTSD is driving him crazy. Dayum girl, I'd be pissed!

I agree with what everyone else here is saying. It is a copout BS excuse. He needs to realize that his demons are going to follow him whether he's in a relationship or not, whether he stays or goes.

For you, however, if he wants to leave over you simply reaching out, it just might be the best thing for you. I certainly wouldn't want someone who would say such hateful things around me or my child. If or when he gets over the childishness, and if you feel right about it, then and only then consider if it's right to take him back. His PTSD is no excuse for abuse.

Much love, Sarah, I am so sorry you're going through this. I went through the exact same thing with my husband years ago, and to a small extent to this day. But he's well aware I won't take the crap. :fart-face

BIG hugs, we are here for you anytime,

Kells

 

[scarlette_crimson]

Please stop the PTSD Ticket

Sarah

So I guess what I am trying to say is it could even happen to you. How would you like to be treated and misunderstood the way you are misunderstanding
PTSD and your husband ?

 

[Kells]

uhh "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder"
I honestly don't see how she's misunderstanding anything at all, nor do I see anything wrong with her reference to PTSD. I don't understand what you're saying at all, Scarlette.

 

[Kells]

lol, PTSD means "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder", Scarlette, and I myself have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I still don't understand what made you attack Sarah. Sarah is right to refer to it as a disorder, because that is precisely what it is, Scarlette, or it wouldn't have the word "disorder" in it to begin with.

I want to understand what offended you about her post, so please don't attack me with the assumption that because I don't understand what you meant automatically means that I am some kind of outsider with "no clue".

 

[sarah]

huh

would like to change message

 

[Andrea42]

Scarlette Crinson,
Why are you so upset?! You seem very angry. There is no need to be so aggressive towards Sarah or Kells. We all the the right to our opinion here and i must agree... PTSD is a disorder...isnt it?? If its not then i have been doing my research in the wrong place...Nobody is callling anybody names. Sarahs hubby is being a brat right now she feels, and like Sarah said, she knows him best and knows what will help him. You misunderstood her post.

I am sorry for what you have been through...i got the chills when i read what has happened to you, but we are here to support each other...there is not need to argue about what PTSD means to each individual. A lot people on this forum have it, it affects them in different ways and in the same ways as others too...the main reason we are here whether we have it or not is support.

 

[Deleted member 93]

Scarlette, did you notice you were in the spouse support forum, not PTSD? Most don't have a clue what it is like and should not be expected to, how can they? This is where spouses of us PTSDers go to vent and support each other, and normally I only pipe in here when they are asking for advice from our point of view, other than that it is the spouses going through things that we cannot possibly get as we are not in their shoes. I really never had intention to responding to this thread though I have read it, and I can get her husband's point of view, but she did not ask for insight on that part so I kept my mouth shut as this is not my space. We should really try to respect their space as we pretty much have free reign of the rest of the board, this is their special spot for them, which is helpful being able to view it, it gives people like me insight to how my spouse feels. Also, I am pretty sure jumping on people won't be allowed, we can all be civil when disagreeing or making a point. Andrea and I do not agree a lot but I try my damnedest to support her still and her spouse. This disorder is what got us all here somehow in the first place.