Now I Am Starting To Get Panic Attacks?

[WillowMarie]

Yea, so I am pretty sure I had a panic attack last night at work. Which might make it two this week... (haven't had any, that I know of, for over ten years... why now??) It has been pretty quiet at work the past couple of weeks, but last night I had to deal with a very upset customer.

She was just being rude and wanted everything her way. I had called the online site for her to talk to, but she refused to talk to them, said she was feeling sick, wanted me to make them give her free shipping when she wasn't going to be spending enough on the purchase to qualify for free shipping, and she didn't want it shipped to the store for free because she would spend gas getting to the store. I told her they already told me their answer was no, they couldn't do anything, but she still wanted me to talk to them.

I had enough and told the associate next to me that I needed to go calm down and asked if he could take over. He was like, NOOOO! (LOL) And I replied, the manager is right there (she was with a customer), ask her to do it.

And I fled into the bathroom. I could feel the tears coming. I was trying to let them come and just feel them because it is so easy for me to push them away/distract. I was trembling which is normal around angry/irritated people for me, so that wasn't freaking me out. I don't know it if was the way I was breathing, you know how you start breathing faster/differently if you start crying really hard. I started to breathe that way even though the tears weren't coming out yet, as in preparing to cry real hard.

All of a sudden I felt really dizzy and realized my fingers were cold and almost feeling numb, so I focused on grounding because I thought it was the beginning of a panic attack. I was running my hands over the stall wall that had this raised pattern and focused on breathing deep to calm myself. Then when the bathroom was clear, I went to the sink and suds up my hands for five minutes just focusing on how it felt and staring myself in the eyes in the mirror (this actually is a very good grounding technique I am finding for me).

After I was calmer I left the bathroom, ran into the associate I had asked to take over and asked if the lady was still over there. He said yes, and that the manager had told the customer she was being mean when she became angry I just left the situation. And when the customer said she wasn't, the manager said, yes you were, I was a right there (maybe seven feet away where she was helping the other customers) and could hear the way you talked to her. It made me feel really supported to hear that. I also told him I was taking my break since she was still out there.

I went into the breakroom and just felt my body trembling (it was pretty bad this time, like I was pretty sure other people would be able to notice) and I still wanted to break down in tears. I tried to let myself feel the emotions, take deep breaths, I was feeling pretty detached when I did this because I would look up and realize people were looking at me, look them in the eyes, that would make me feel more grounded, and it would push away the feelings more.

After 15-20 min. I felt way calmer and headed back out to the floor. I ran into the manager that helped the customers after I left and she told me, I should just yell at the customers next time... I thought that was funny, but supportive, but told her I didn't want to get in trouble.

 

[Seasounds]

Getting triggered at work is the worst. When i t happens to me, I feel stuck in the middle, and unable to fully and freely defend myself. You did a EXCELLENT job, on all accounts!!

'Starting' to get panic attacks could be due to (only you can discern) increased personal or work stress, becoming less frozen-where you begin to 'feel' triggers, or medication side effects (too high or low dose) or even hormonal changes. (For me, increase work load was the trigger.)

Back to how well you did:
you knew you needed a break, you took a break, you found a way to feel and to keep associated, you came back to talk to your manager, and, even though she gave you permission to be rude in the future, you disagreed with her suggestion, knowing that being gracious, or taking a break like you did, will keep your job. Fabulous work!

Having been through a slew of these customers this past fall, I have only one idea for any 'next time' event, which I will do, too: pull away sooner, the MOMENT, the SECOND, you realize you are getting tense while working with a difficult customer.

I have stratigized ways to do this: "let me get someone who will be able to better assist you", excuse myself, have a response that might 'politely' interupt their behavior-that helps me become active-like coughing a few times, so I can feel more able to get unstuck from the triggering interaction.

I really like how your coworkers came to help you. It demonstrates that you have cultivated supportive relationships-they key to keeping a job when you need a break.

Thanks for your post!

 

[WillowMarie]

Getting triggered at work is the worst. When i t happens to me, I feel stuck in the middle, and unable to fully and freely defend myself. You did a EXCELLENT job, on all accounts!!

Thank you! I was really proud of myself for letting myself feel the emotions instead of distract myself right after it happened like I tend to do most times. I agree with not feeling as free to defend myself at work, as well.

'Starting' to get panic attacks could be due to (only you can discern) increased personal or work stress, becoming less frozen-where you begin to 'feel' triggers, or medication side effects (too high or low dose) or even hormonal changes. (For me, increase work load was the trigger.)

I have been wondering lately if I have been able to feel more, which might go along with one of the possibilities you mentioned. The becoming less frozen so one feels triggers more. In the past, I might not feel the emotions that much, but I will realize (when dealing with angry people) I started trembling and my eyes are tearing up like I might start crying, but I don't feel much other than physically how my body feels. I think now, the feelings are being felt now and it just makes me want to run away/get away from the situation.

Even with everyday feelings, instead of just feeling numb most of the time, I have recognized feeling sad, lonely, bored, hopeless, and anxiety the past few weeks. This is a very good thing for me, but I am trying not to let it scare me and remind myself this is what I need, and this will help me, it's what I've wanted for so long.

I have stratigized ways to do this: "let me get someone who will be able to better assist you", excuse myself, have a response that might 'politely' interupt their behavior-that helps me become active-like coughing a few times, so I can feel more able to get unstuck from the triggering interaction.

I will try to remember that. I know I have done that in the past, grabbing a manager right away when they start getting really upset, but my brain just wasn't thinking this time around.

I really like how your coworkers came to help you. It demonstrates that you have cultivated supportive relationships-they key to keeping a job when you need a break.

It still amazes me sometimes how supportive they can be. I am not used to this type of treatment and I am surprised when they are on my side and not telling me I need to learn to keep it together or suck it up, or that I was over reacting. That I am taken seriously when something upsets me. (<--ah, totally started tearing up while writing this, that is how special it is to me)