Too Much Family In One Space

[squeaky little dog]

My extended family is bigger than I can handle. I have 4 brothers, 3 of them are married. I have a sister, who is single. We still have 1 aunt and uncle living. There's 10 adults to start, with the possibility of more. There are numerous offspring.

Our holiday tradition is to stuff all these people into the dining room and living room of a 1500 sq ft house(typical size for my family) and eat a huge dinner.

I actually love most of these people, but its too many people in too small a space for me. I start feeling hyperaware, and then have an incredible urge to get in the car and flee. Most of them will stay and talk for several hours. I can't manage more than 2 hours, 3 if I'm having a good day.

I feel guilt for the eat and run scenario. I hate being the 1st one to go, but none of them know I have panic attacks and I'd like to keep it that way. I HAVE to leave before I start showing symptoms.

I want to know how other people endure large social gatherings, because I utterly suck at it.

 

[Stickler]

I don't go... :(

Edited to add: if I drink enough alcohol to not panic, I would be honest. :eek:

REALLY honest. Nobody wants that.

 

[a3a2]

My extended family is bigger than I can handle. I have 4 brothers, 3 of them are married. I h...

I'm the youngest of an even larger family, and I can totally relate. In the name of making it easier on everyone, my family gets a room at a nearby restaurant most of the get-to-gethers. I still skip most of them. I've done so for the past several years, and my siblings are only beginning to notice...

 

[Ronin]

I love larger gatherings far more than small ones, where people I don't like are concerned.

More chances to disappear that way, and/or talk to people I can handle with at least something, that way.

& I cherry pick. Terrible person but a good conversation theme? A conversation theme I know nothing about but they do and I can learn from it? Watching them just to snark them in my head and have something fun to tell people I -do- give a f*ck about are all a fair go, where I am concerned.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

For me it's a hit and miss. I am very anxious about such gatheringings, and to be fully honest, December with all parties and celebrations is making a whole lot of extra anxiety for me. But sometimes I am okay in such gatherings. It's good if I find at least one person with which I can start a really great conversation(one of those that start with one thing and go through 1000 others..) and then I relax and think about what I'm speaking about, not about my nerves. Sometimes wine helps, but it has to be little enough amount. Otherwise, I TOO get too honest, and instead of getting away from my fears, I get to the worst of them. So yeah...basically I am yet to find a way to make that less anxiety filled for myself. I just avoid too many such events, and when I do have them, I get through them one night at a time. And I always have an exit strategy so that I can say I have to leave...One time I worked on Christmas eve, because I went to a party where I knew only one person, didn't get comfortable with the others and felt awkward and panicked...I ended up leaving first and actually working afterwards. I did have a lot of work, but I still could have left it for the morning...but I felt guilty for leaving. Anxiety is horrible.