How do you stop been triggered by girl children/teens

[Scott88]

anybody else get triggered by children and teens? Every time I’m with my husband and we walk / drive past young girls my head tells me my husband is looking at them in a sexual way even though he’s not I scream and shout at him to stop and get triggered.
Anybody else have this and how do you cope? It’s just so not fair on my husband

 

[Mach123]

Yes, but not about that particular group. I'd just say I've always been jealous of my wife in a narcissistic way? I always had this feeling and I have only recently gotten in touch with it. I think now it's not my own feeling and it's certainly not my partner, it's coming from me. It's still not my feeling though, it's one of the trauma feelings disguised as me or mine. I just recently applied the word narcissist because of the severity of the distress I get from this feeling. I'm sorry you feel like this it's really uncomfortable. : (

 

[Supervixn]

You're not alone. I experience the same and it's painful scary and torturous.

 

[Scott88]

@Mach123 @Supervixn

I’m sorry you both feel this aswel I thought I was the only person that gets this.. it is painful scary and torturous. you are totally right. No matter how much try not too I can’t not be triggered in these situations.. it’s awful.. I get triggered by my own daughter when my poor husband is playing with her, it’s awful...

 

[DharmaGirl]

Are you in therapy. I would think exposure therapy would help. You can control how you react to triggers with therapy. Do you have any self-soothing tools? My therapist had me write down what I could do when triggered, so I didn't run away, (my solution to everything), and it really helped me. Meditation when you are not triggered helps too. Getting to the core issue of trust with your husband would help too. These reactions are not out of our control, it just takes lots of work to get there.

I'm sorry, I just read your other posts, and maybe some inpatient treatment might help. Is there a female relative in the picture that might be able to keep an eye on your daughter so you feel safe if you choose this? I had horrific CSA too, and I wasn't able to do inpatient, and when I was where you are now (I think, I know that is assuming) I was hospitalized many, many times. You are strong enough not to have to be hospitalized, but you are in that horrid time when therapy makes you feel worse, I think. DBT might help you feel more present when these things start to happen. I'm sorry you are going through this, but keep in mind you are going through, and there will be better times ahead. I hated when my therapist said that to me, but he was right. And he quit his job in the middle of my therapy too.

 

[Scott88]

Are you in therapy. I would think exposure therapy would help. You can control how you react to trig...

I don’t want to go into hospital.. my doc has mentioned this to me but I don’t want to.. I don’t want to.
Therapy has been really really tough, it’s opened so many things and I’ve not had the tools to deal with them. My new T is doing more stabilisation with me as he said I am not in a place to handle the emotions that are linked to everything.. I get that and I can’t handle it, but it’s here, right here, all the time. All the time since I spoke with my old T.
Can I ask what is dbt

 

[DharmaGirl]

Dialectical Behavior Therapy is a kind of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that helps you be more present. I got the workbook on Amazon and started doing the exercises on my own, and boom, I made a huge leap in therapy, being able to know the red flags to my being triggered, and how to stabilize myself. Maybe you should ask your therapist, since I'm not really sure how it is done professionally.