So is it more like your hypervigilance is going through the roof or something else is causing you to feel like you're about to attack but just don't know what causes it?Yes. We got better relationship now. Before it was bad. I absolutely hated her and she was ashamed to have me as a daughter.
There's none aside from him taking me away for a spin in a car. Then his attention is not directed at me, but the road, I get to feel more invisible and it sooth me down in aboit 10min or so, but also I don't want him to go driving with me all the time. And staying away till I calm down doesn't work. It only prolongs stress. I can't really stay busy in a house, bause living room, kitchen and garden (the only places there's always something to be done) are all on the ground floor in the house we live in. It makes me fell exposed and like I'm about to get attacked. Sometimes I take xanax, but it's effect doesn't last long.
I'm so sorry to hear that. Did you try to talk to your doctor about it? I know using medicine is a lot of the times treating symptom without fixing the actual problem, but after all no one shpuld be under this much stress. Also if you don' t mind me asking. Could you share in what ways the abuse from your father impacted your relationships with opposite sex? Sorry if it's asking for too much
Yes I'm also iin therapy and they wanted to get me on medication but I didn't want to. I thought that when I'll get through this without meds, I will know I can deal with whatever will come further in life. I do take the lightest anxiety meds possible when I get extremely anxious tho.
I actually don't know what the impact is from the sexual abuse. My feelings and my thoughts aren't connected very well. For example; I think I deserve what everyone else deserves, but my feelings are fckedup I get sick when I think my bf is interested in other women.
Most impact I think is that I just can't trust men, I always think that they're nonstop thinking about sex and will do everything for it to get that. When I'm not in a relationship I don't really care what men are thinking (or aren't haha), but about my boyfriend I really do. When I was a teenager my 'boyfriends' all cheated on me and constantly lied so I think that has made quite an impact as well. It just feels like whenever a man is around they're always looking at my ass so I prefer not to walk in front of them (or actually not stand up at all)
I don't think this story is very well written so sorry if it's hard to read haha. Are you already talking about your trauma's or dont you talk about them at all?