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Doing better- Healing slowly

Theasylumsystem

Silver Member
I've been doing okay lately! I haven't been having so many off days, and it really shows me how much I've progressed. I still want to move out of my apartment (I need to think about retiring my service dog soon and training a new one, but with my current apartment, I'd have to fight tooth and nail to get a second dog). But I've been less anxious lately. I think the medication combination I have right now works for me really well. I also have been doing better now that I'm at work and I have something to occupy my mind besides just going stir crazy. I really think I've made a lot of progress. I still cycle with my moods and have off days sometimes, but it's been so long since I've had suicidal thoughts (minus bad days) when that used to be all I thought about. How is everyone else doing?
 
Hi @Theasylumsystem generally I'm doing really well but I had terrible anxiety and ill mental health Sunday. I'd been doing too much and my mind was feeling the pressure. I'm really glad to see your posting and fairing well, I really hope that continues. I recently started playing piano so thats a positive and ive been doing various courses.🙏 😀.
 
I've been doing okay lately! I haven't been having so many off days, and it really shows me how much I've progressed. I still want to move out of my apartment (I need to think about retiring my service dog soon and training a new one, but with my current apartment, I'd have to fight tooth and nail to get a second dog). But I've been less anxious lately. I think the medication combination I have right now works for me really well. I also have been doing better now that I'm at work and I have something to occupy my mind besides just going stir crazy. I really think I've made a lot of progress. I still cycle with my moods and have off days sometimes, but it's been so long since I've had suicidal thoughts (minus bad days) when that used to be all I thought about. How is everyone else doing?
Thank you very much for updating us. I am so happy to hear that you are doing better. We will continue to be here for updates if you need more support at another time.

The process of healing is a journey. It doesn’t follow any pattern. Even when you’re in a good season, you could be hit by a trigger and spiral again. But I have noticed that the recovery time becomes less and less, and I am able to be productive more and more. I’m so very thankful for this forum and for all of you to be there for me. I cannot even say how valuable this form has been and is to me.

Currently, my body is getting taken down by the stress of my son’s suicide attempts. Whenever my body crashes, I completely stop all responsibilities and do self-care. It may take days it may take weeks. But eventually, I’m doing better. My mind has not been so clear in a long time. I’ve been sorting out the mess in my head.

Just my opinion, but it seems to me that a lot of mental illness can be linked to trauma. I’m learning many modalities in order to resolve the trauma: self-care when it is triggered; exploring another new type of therapy or treatment option that I have not explored yet; …

Wishing you well, moving forward one day at a time, one minute at a time when necessary, always being prepared for something to go sideways, because it usually does periodically even when we have things under our belt and are not treated so much. We have to be gentle with ourselves and patience. We didn’t do this to ourselves, and our body needs kindness. Praying that all continues to go well and that you are prepared in case something goes sideways. Wishing you well in exchanging your dogs, and the possible/probable move to a new place.

Celebrate the wins!!! take time to celebrate and appreciate that you’re doing better. That is so important for us to demonstrate love to ourselves and provide our body and mind need: Love. 🙏🫂❤️
 
I have never been worse both mentally and physically.

Great to hear you're doing better tho. My mood is way too flat to feel happy for you but I'm sure most other people will.
Parrottthepolly,

I’m sorry to hear that your mood is flat. I wish you well moving forward and getting that figured out. Maybe a med issue. Maybe just the season that you’re in. Hoping better adjustment with meds give you what you need in order to feel happy. Please know that we all understand and are rooting for you. Take especially good care of yourself during this season until things improve. 🙏💖
 
Hi @Theasylumsystem generally I'm doing really well but I had terrible anxiety and ill mental health Sunday. I'd been doing too much and my mind was feeling the pressure. I'm really glad to see your posting and fairing well, I really hope that continues. I recently started playing piano so thats a positive and ive been doing various courses.🙏 😀.
Thank you for sharing your positives. We all need to see when we’re doing well to give hope to those who are in a bad season. I’m recently in self-discovery to determine if I might qualify on the autism spectrum. I know that my son does, even though I was not able to get him diagnosed 10 years ago. They have friends who have been diagnosed who are telling them that they ARE on the spectrum. As I am coming alongside my son, I’ve been wondering if these things don’t also apply to me.

Healing is a journey. It’s never done. We keep moving forward, one day at a time, celebrating the wins and cherishing the good days. Looking forward to a better future. Wishing you well as you continue to improve, with maybe a few bumps in the road. If we’re prepared for them, and we love ourselves through them, then we’ll be all that much better in the future. 🙏💖
 
Parrottthepolly,

I’m sorry to hear that your mood is flat. I wish you well moving forward and getting that figured out. Maybe a med issue. Maybe just the season that you’re in. Hoping better adjustment with meds give you what you need in order to feel happy. Please know that we all understand and are rooting for you. Take especially good care of yourself during this season until things improve. 🙏💖

Thanks Pam, I only take meds recreationally and who told you I took any at all haha? I don't take things that are prescribed or peer pressured into trying (big difference I know).... but I learned to not overdo it and it's well under control.

Maybe it's this month is my birthday and it brings up some existential OCD thoughts and they can get way into my head especially since no one said Happy Birthday last year. It's probably ridiculous to most people so it's better if I stay out of the way until that day is over.

Also please speak for yourself and it's unfair you're using terms like "we all" since I can assure you not everyone in the world gets along.
 
Thanks Pam, I only take meds recreationally and who told you I took any at all haha? I don't take things that are prescribed or peer pressured into trying (big difference I know).... but I learned to not overdo it and it's well under control.

Maybe it's this month is my birthday and it brings up some existential OCD thoughts and they can get way into my head especially since no one said Happy Birthday last year. It's probably ridiculous to most people so it's better if I stay out of the way until that day is over.

Also please speak for yourself and it's unfair you're using terms like "we all" since I can assure you not everyone in the world gets along.
Parrotthepolly,

Thank you for being so kind as you were correcting me. I appreciate that, because sometimes I put my foot in my mouth. I seem to not have a filter. Possible autism symptoms. I will take your advice and try to follow it.

Thank you for sharing the probable cost in your current situation. Makes total sense. Glad to hear that you’re being gentle and kind to yourself as you get through to the other side. Thanks again for your kindness. Have a pleasant day.💖
 
Glad to hear that you’re being gentle and kind to yourself as you get through to the other side. Thanks again for your kindness. Have a pleasant day.💖

I am not? One of my main coping mechanisms is to prove that I'm not a gentle person anymore, especially to someone as insignificant and undeserving as myself. Being considered gentle is very much close to being weak and easily controlled.

Think what I meant to say was simply things are obviously not alright but it's just under control enough I still have my freedom. As much as I hope I know realistically there is no otherside for people like me. I've come down to rock bottom so many times my life will simply end here one day.

Time for me to shut up now, I'm not really being helpful but it goes to show at least most people are doing better and to not end up like me I guess.
 
I've been doing okay lately! I haven't been having so many off days, and it really shows me how much I've progressed. I still want to move out of my apartment (I need to think about retiring my service dog soon and training a new one, but with my current apartment, I'd have to fight tooth and nail to get a second dog). But I've been less anxious lately. I think the medication combination I have right now works for me really well. I also have been doing better now that I'm at work and I have something to occupy my mind besides just going stir crazy. I really think I've made a lot of progress. I still cycle with my moods and have off days sometimes, but it's been so long since I've had suicidal thoughts (minus bad days) when that used to be all I thought about. How is everyone else doing?
glad to hear things are looking up for you, how do you feel about getting/training another dog? what kind of tasks to you have yours trained for? I hope you can move to somewhere more ideal soon. it's nice to look back at the progress.


I'm okay, my diary would tell a different story but healing is complicated and I'm trying to stay perspective of the wins that are happening, despite them also coming with hard stuff. doesn't mean things aren't better than they were. new understanding is always positive to me even if it's a lot to stomach/get head around. implimenting a new routine that seems to be a lot easier to keep up and achieves the same things as the last one.
 
glad to hear things are looking up for you, how do you feel about getting/training another dog? what kind of tasks to you have yours trained for? I hope you can move to somewhere more ideal soon. it's nice to look back at the progress.


I'm okay, my diary would tell a different story but healing is complicated and I'm trying to stay perspective of the wins that are happening, despite them also coming with hard stuff. doesn't mean things aren't better than they were. new understanding is always positive to me even if it's a lot to stomach/get head around. implimenting a new routine that seems to be a lot easier to keep up and achieves the same things as the last one.
It's a mixed bag of emotions for sure. I love my current service dog. He's been with me through so much but I also want him to retire and get to relax and be a pet. I'm hopeful for my next service dog. I'm looking at getting a younger dog at a shelter. I really don't want to start with the puppy stage though lol Puppies are hard so I'd like to get a dog that like 1 year to 2 years old! I'm thinking about getting a german shepherd or some type of shepherd mix. I know they're high-energy so I'm hoping I'll be able to provide them with enough stimulation and training. I genuinely love training dogs. It's so fun!

I feel that so much my journal is a mess right now just trying to convey everything I'm feeling. Trying to find the positives right?
 

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