going to places where you were traumatised

[mourning.starre]

Have you ever heard of EMDR therapy? It works kind of like that. You force yourself to think of the memories over and over and eventually, in theory, it lessens the pain associated with the memory.

My counselor tried to do this with me but it triggered nightmares so badly that I literally did not get an hour of sleep in a two weeks. I had to stop. But for some people- most I have heard- it actually works.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Yep, a month of EMDR, and then hospital. I can't do EMDR safely, my trauma was institutional and severe, that the compressed time for processing was too much, I just got body memories and flashbacks. I am on an confrontational CBT track, on confrontational I mean instead of coping around my trauma, confronting it although its painful to do so. Sort of the same forcing myself to address memories and such, process for me, just on a very controlled safe pace.

 

[joeylittle]

I mean instead of coping around my trauma, confronting it although its painful to do so.

Really great to hear. Like you said:

on a very controlled safe pace

Really great :)

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

@joeylittle It feels so good and uplifting to hear this from you considering my earlier rough times on the forum when I first started dealing with my PTSD. It validates where I am with my PTSD today. I am in pain from this process every, with images and thoughts, which not long ago would hospitalize me.

It came down to two paths, deal with it and confront it although it meant essentially feeling all the pain my brain would not let me feel during the trauma, and afterwards. Even though it means there are always moments where suicidal ideation sneaks in due to the intensity of it all, sometimes daily, but managed and balanced by the measures taken that make it so I have to cope safely with such thoughts.

The other path is to finally give up, which by chance is what keeps me committed to the current recovery process, when I am doing the equestrian therapy, every time my hypervigilance holds me back to stay in my comfort zone, I had have to decide to push my comfort zone need aside for that moment, and push through past my hyperventilate, or let my hyper-vigilance by giving up on the challenge at the moment of which my hyper-vigilance wins, which in that moment happens to mean I have given up completely, because once I allow it to happen once, it becomes a fallback to stay in my comfort zone.

So we are using it to keep me committed to fighting my hyper-vigilance, and to keep me safe, it's be able to do this safely despite thoughts, managing the thoughts, and safety, or loose the one opportunity I may ever have to take on this impossible challenge that already has made a marked change in my thinking and reactions.

Thanks for the support, I need it, we all do.

 

[zero]

Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.

Oooo! This is interesting, what kind of insights have you found?

I'll continue reading, but this was my first thought. lol :) I'd love to know. I like to learn. May help my stuff. lol >.< <3

/peace, love
/sat

@joeylittle It feels so good and uplifting to hear this from you considering my earlier rough times on the forum when I first started dealing with my PTSD. It validates where I am with my PTSD today. I am in pain from this process every, with images and thoughts, which not long ago would hospitalize me.

It came down to two paths, deal with it and confront it although it meant essentially feeling all the pain my brain would not let me feel during the trauma, and afterwards.

I'm so inspired by this. <3 <3 <3 -- my in-bold, especially helpful. Have I not done this? I thought I had. Hmm.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

Oooo! This is interesting, what kind of insights have you found?

I'll continue reading, but this was my first thought. lol :) I'd love to know. I like to learn. May help my stuff. lol >.< <3

/peace, love
/sat



I'm so inspired by this. <3 <3 <3 -- my in-bold, especially helpful. Have I not done this? I thought I had. Hmm.

yes, it can be very upsetting, that can be a given, but that is the point, in trauma we suppress, we cutoff painful emotions, often for a life time, a life time of living in the pain, not through the pain. for those who are ready, going to where trauma happened gives one an anchor to that pain, brings it to the forefront, it is expected that afterwards flashbacks, emotions, nigh terrors will happen, but we get those anyways at times. Its working through those emotions from this process that one gets control over the trauma. It is in a way a grieving process.

From my recent visit to where my trauma started, It certainly has me going through a lot of emotions and pain afterwards, this was expected, I even have moments where I am not safe. I could run off to the ER and put it all where I don't have to deal with it, but I won't and my therapist won't let me do that, even unsafe its important to use some distress tolerance and work through it all in order to get better. I feel like crap. But no pain no gain.

 

[katz]

A lot of people don't understand why I would want to go back. It was difficult at first, but I took a deep breathe and managed to go.

I have gone back to almost all the places that "something" happened to me. I had to start with the … "least?" painful one. But, once I went, it amazed me what a difference it made for me -for that particular memory. I was able to cry and grieve for the little girl inside me. I was able to reassure her that she survived. She is going to be okay. I could tell her that she will never be alone again. I will always be there for her protection.

I had to go back multiple times. Each time I cried a little less. I don't go back anymore. I have done enough mourning for "little me". I know that I will never forget what happened, but it made it much easier to put it in my past.

 

[unbrokenn]

Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.

I’ve had to go to places I was traumatized, not by choice. Usually it caused me more harm than good (like religious places I now avoid), but as for my school I now am desensitized to it more than I am triggered, so it honestly depends.

 

[recoveringfromptsd]

My experience is similar, huge gains while there and after, but it brings things to the surface where flashbacks become frequent, that is to be expected, but that is where the real therapy work is, no pain no gain as they say. I had not expected to be hospitalized afterwards but not surprised.

 

[Mee]

The places don’t bother me so much I think? The fear of running into people does. I have gone back to one city. It was ok. I doubt I have to go to one of the States ever again; so why would I? Other places, I don’t know. I could go back to the childhood places anonymously; no one would recognise me. I think it would be sad and empowering both. It’s definitely the people for me, not the places, that hold terror.

 

[Widow_of_one]

Has anyone found any value in going to places were they was traumatised to experience memorys/ emotions e.t.c... I have been giving it a go have been getting some insights....still not sure if its just upesetting my self though.

For myself, going back has been incredible! I lost the boy I wanted to marry 34 years ago and when I went to his grave 2 years ago, I felt nothing. I drove home and went inside and I started crying like I have never cried before! After about 30 minutes I started to worry that I was going crazy then I realized that his death was that tragic to me!! I have never sobbed like that with my full body from my gut. After about an hour I calmed myself down and fell asleep. It wasn’t just his sudden and unexpected death that was so traumatic but the death of 2 others within the same 8 month period Which effectively cut me lose from a life I had always had and lost my life plan for us being together.

many years ago I had a car accident in a mall, this young 18 year old boy slammed into me. As I got out of the car my face was crying. It was the oddest thing. The kid said “don’t cry I have insurance.” The cop asked me if he was on the cell phone, I said no. About 8 years later I drove over that same spot (Unintentionally) and the Emotion from the event flowed over me and through me: yes! He was on his cell phone!!

 

[Deanna]

I can't be in the same town. I'm one town over and it can stay there. So much trauma