Because having no friends and being alone is not fun. Having to distract yourself from emotional pain is no fun. Not knowing if it’s you or them and wishing you had such a better life is not fun. Being oblivious to things is not fun. Especially when you see how good everyone else’s lives are. It’s like a kick in the face. I have yet to meet anyone that has gone through my exact situation and it’s disheartening. I am so over depression and anxiety. And meds do not help. I’ve tried A LOT. All I can think of are the ways that people are taken advantage of me and how off my path I seem. It took me years to even be able to look someone in the face when speaking to them. And reality seems so bad and has such a negative connotation to it. Things are just so weird. And my plans always seem to backfire. It is weird to say but when you’ve had so many things go wrong in a row, it’s hard to open up and try new things.