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Is self disclosure equal to intimacy? I like this question. I don’t have an answer right now.is self disclosure equal to intimacy? Or is intimacy what you desire?
Why this matters? And what ‘does’ matter? What matters to me is healing. And somehow the healing process involves this relationship thing (now I am distancing myself by calling it ‘thing’). Someone on this thread noted that another term for relationship is ‘alliance’. Ally. On your side. Not all relationships are alliances. Intimacy, to me, seems to be a kind of alliance.the 'why' of what about this matters, and exactly what 'does' matter?
A framework is a helpful way to think about it, thank you. I realize that frameworks are a very common part of human existence. Society and culture are frameworks. I guess the old tapes are a framework. Some frameworks are helpful, some are not:in that it is set up with a framework. Doesn't lessen intimacy or importance or significance.
Artificial in the sense of being one sided. We know nothing more than superficial things about our therapist that they might tell a coworker. Though we bare our soul to them they will not, nor should they, do the same with us. They might add some information here and there in relation to showing empathy. But we only have a small sample of who they truly are. I don’t really see that as intimate more so as I don’t even know to be honest. Professional sounds dull but relationship sounds intimate. I don’t think there’s a perfect word to explain this; however, I personally don’t think it’s as intimate as a friendship.Gosh, I would say my relationships with my parents is way way way more artificial than my relationship with my T.
The therapist's supervisor might just be talking crap?! Idk.
You know my feelings about my T, as we shared many similarities with that.
Yes it's a professional relationship with boundaires. But it's genuine and highly intimate. We share stuff with them that we might not share with anyone else. How can that be artificial?
What did they mean by artificial?
To some extent I agree. From trauma I keep people at a distance. Distance is where I feel safe. At least in my case, my therapist sits in the chair farther from me. The one time she moved to the chair directly in front of me and that also blocked the door, my panic instinct rushed in and I felt unsafe in her presence.Nope, sorry I still don't really get your point. In that sense everything is artificial and I feel like your just over analysing everything. I don't feel like my counselors room, where the chair is placed, the way he sits or what he says is artificial or manipulated to get me to do anything.
For me and my counselor it's just normal.
Sorry highjacking....@Freddyt I could never disclose to a T what I would to a spouse, or (just for me)
I should have been more clear and said @OliveJewel , is self-disclosure equal to intimacy in your mind/ belief system? Or any other question, as was just an example I pulled out of the air- not for me to make the questions, I don't know those. Only you can compose them to ask yourself, and they can be public or private (or not at all). (Terms are really subjectively influenced; the question was whether therapy relationships are artificial, but the definition of relationship means different things to different people for example, some see it as a relationship, others wouldn't be comfortable qualifying it exactly that way on those grounds only.)Is self disclosure equal to intimacy? I like this question. I don’t have an answer right now.
I understood it was meant for me. I still don’t have an answer yet. Thank you for the hug and encouragement!in your mind/ belief system?
" It's not like a naturally formed relationship, but it's definitely not fake, either. Many times it's supposed to be a model for how other relationships can be. Many times it's far too intimate to be the model for any other relationships.
Hear, hear!Maybe it’s culture that needs to bend a little to make a little more openness - not the intimacy of therapy perhaps, more acceptable? It would cut a lot of crap !
This speaks to me. I understand what you mean. And the remembering likes and dislikes and all that. And the “proud of you” moments—all that. It’s way easier for me to tell my kids and students and friends that I’m proud of them now—and probably myself too, but of course that’s the very hardest.she tells me kindly. She tells me with care . Care I feel is authentic.
I am grateful you wrote this and your whole post because it helps me to see a lot of positives to the attachment and helps me understand the value I derive from the… attachment. I’m pulling back from the word relationship. Mostly because of the connotations, but it IS a relationship. I am getting needs fulfilled which were never allowed to be present in the relationship with my primary caregivers. I also talk to her about things an adult would talk to their parents about. I am grateful for her willingness to engage with me as a reparenting surrogate.behaviour modelled to me to take care of myself. I need to self parent - to take care of myself, to set boundaries etc. to be responsible for safety in a way I couldn’t at the age abuse started? At the age culture started to demean my agency even?
except that I would not (just for myself) describe it as parental. Just, do they have my back? Because that for me I suppose is the deal breaker or deal maker for attachment. When family attachment is denied or rejection assured I don't think attachment is sought out, it feels foreign to believe it could exist, more like not 'if' it will turn but 'when'. If they do have my back however, I sometimes can take enough heart to have my own back a bit as well. Or think I have enough value to attempt to make decisions more caring for myself, or at least acknowledge more care for myself. I guess it comes back to 'worth'.I need safe, secure , ‘parental’ type behaviour modelled to me to take care of myself. I need to self parent - to take care of myself, to set boundaries etc. to be responsible for safety in a way I couldn’t at the age abuse started? At the age culture started to demean my agency even?