how amazing that this thread popped up today. been thinking about the dynamics of T relationships lately.
Wondering if the guy I fired awhile back was truly deserving of being fired when he blasted my behavior over the phone. I bet he thought it was tough love and what I needed, I was appalled by his quick jump to harsh criticism after just 3 sessions, most of which had been history and family of origin stuff. And he was waaaaay off base with some of the criticisms. Maybe if he had reserved his critique for the start of a session instead of letting it build throughout a session then dumping it all on me in the last 2 minutes, even using"don't interrupt me" when I was trying to interject an argument for something he had taken way out of context. The final click resonated a little and I came away with nothing that I thought was worth the effort. A little time to reflect and then, sayonara. Merry Christmas in case I don't see you before then.
But maybe, when I see the relationship as being employee/employer, I lose some openness to criticism or at least feel like I have some say about the way it should be delivered and after how long the criticism is developed and how well it can be supported.
This T jumped to a quick decision and shared it like he was dropping a bomb and running. I discounted it all as coming from a source not worth listening to and eliminated any future contact. It felt like I had been flipped off in traffic by someone going away, fast.
Maybe the truth is somewhere in between, and maybe the reality of the relationship isn't employee/employer but lies somewhere between that idea and entertainer/audience or even needy/samaritan. It all gets confused by the exchange of money.
I am shaken a little from my position of employee/employer, but not a lot and only after what is my shortest time with the most non productive therapist ever, by a long way.
I thought I was hiring a good guy, a combat medic history and many background commonalities. Maybe I wanted a little more healing and finess, but he was all about quick decisions, triage, package and transport, no time to waste with bullets flying. I know that one, not because I was ever in combat, but I do know from personal experience that you perform CPR even when the neck or vertebrae are probably not viable, better a live paraplegic than a dead one. Lots of examples of having to cause pain to start the healing in the world of first responder level medicine and I believe he was steeped in it. But I think he left his tact somewhere in Afghanistan and I brought my expectation of a higher level of professionalism with me when I brought money to the table.
Someone should write a book about this. Or read one and share the synopsis here. As always, there are lots of reasons we are on this bus together, and lots of places to get on and off the bus, no two alike. The only real commonality we PTSD bus riders share is the bus we all ride.
Wondering if the guy I fired awhile back was truly deserving of being fired when he blasted my behavior over the phone. I bet he thought it was tough love and what I needed, I was appalled by his quick jump to harsh criticism after just 3 sessions, most of which had been history and family of origin stuff. And he was waaaaay off base with some of the criticisms. Maybe if he had reserved his critique for the start of a session instead of letting it build throughout a session then dumping it all on me in the last 2 minutes, even using"don't interrupt me" when I was trying to interject an argument for something he had taken way out of context. The final click resonated a little and I came away with nothing that I thought was worth the effort. A little time to reflect and then, sayonara. Merry Christmas in case I don't see you before then.
But maybe, when I see the relationship as being employee/employer, I lose some openness to criticism or at least feel like I have some say about the way it should be delivered and after how long the criticism is developed and how well it can be supported.
This T jumped to a quick decision and shared it like he was dropping a bomb and running. I discounted it all as coming from a source not worth listening to and eliminated any future contact. It felt like I had been flipped off in traffic by someone going away, fast.
Maybe the truth is somewhere in between, and maybe the reality of the relationship isn't employee/employer but lies somewhere between that idea and entertainer/audience or even needy/samaritan. It all gets confused by the exchange of money.
I am shaken a little from my position of employee/employer, but not a lot and only after what is my shortest time with the most non productive therapist ever, by a long way.
I thought I was hiring a good guy, a combat medic history and many background commonalities. Maybe I wanted a little more healing and finess, but he was all about quick decisions, triage, package and transport, no time to waste with bullets flying. I know that one, not because I was ever in combat, but I do know from personal experience that you perform CPR even when the neck or vertebrae are probably not viable, better a live paraplegic than a dead one. Lots of examples of having to cause pain to start the healing in the world of first responder level medicine and I believe he was steeped in it. But I think he left his tact somewhere in Afghanistan and I brought my expectation of a higher level of professionalism with me when I brought money to the table.
Someone should write a book about this. Or read one and share the synopsis here. As always, there are lots of reasons we are on this bus together, and lots of places to get on and off the bus, no two alike. The only real commonality we PTSD bus riders share is the bus we all ride.
