One thing I know is that even for people without parts or trauma, gender and sexuality is still complicated and likely caused by many interlocking factors
One of these factors? Is the relatively recent spotlight that has been put on the concept of "gender identity", and the proliferation of labels and types designed to help people understand identify themselves, and help people around them understand them as well.
On the up side? That's quickly normalising the concept that gender identify is a complicated thing, and often as unique as the individual.
On the down side? That's quickly normalising the concept that gender identity is a complicated thing, and something that an individual needs to identify for themselves.
For me? I am what I am. Which is to say, incredibly
uninterested in the shopping list of potential labels, because I don't need the confusion. When I'm attracted to someone? I'm attracted to someone. How I
feel about myself at any given time, on the spectrum from masculine to feminine and everything in between and outside that spectrum? Rarely makes much difference to who I am.
I was born with female lady bits. Do I "identify" as male/female/something else? Society would reeeeeally like me to specify that right now.
But actually, those labels don't change me at all, and where I am on this 'spectrum' doesn't
need to be important. For a start, it requires me to start speculating on 'masculine' and feminine' actually mean. Which leads me to stereotyping "normal" people. Which is
incredibly counterproductive to me personally developing a sense of who I am.
So, yes, it's complicated. Increasingly so as that list of potential labels continue to swell. For
some people, diving into that and figuring themselves out? Is a really liberating thing. But that doesn't make it necessarily important for all of us.
Because even when you've found the label that feels like it fits your self concept? That label hasn't changed who you are. It's
just a label. And you can make a choice about whether you place any importance on finding the 'right' label at all.
Just because it's incredibly important to some people to find that label? Doesn't mean it needs to be important to you.
When I
personally decided I really genuinely don't care what label applies to me best? That was huge weight off my shoulders. Doesn't diminish how important it is to others. Just deciding it isn't important to
me.
ETA I was brought up with male and female siblings, and we shared toys, clothes, household chores. We were all taught to prioritise homework, sport, and learning to read. We were all taught to behave exactly the same way around others - please, and thank you, and 'how are you feeling' were applied exactly the same way. Both my parents worked in full time professional jobs, and both spent much of the weekend doing inside and outside household jobs. My mum knew as much about mechanics as my dad, my dad knew how to iron a shirt as well as my mum did.
It is, actually, confusing to me that for many people, gender identity is so incredibly important. Because apart from the different way our bodies worked? I never really learned that there was meaningful difference between masculine and feminine until I hit uni, where I was presented with the incredible importance of this concept by my sociology professor.
15 odd years later? I disagree with my sociology professor. Masculine and feminine are evolving concepts themselves, so the identify labels attached to them are also evolving. And it doesn't need to be important to
all of us, just because it is
essential for some us.
