My psychiatrist rocks. Absolutely rocks.
She wrote several strongly worded letters to my insurance company and the insurance contacted me late yesterday. They told me that they have approved my treatment at this program and they talked to the hospital, and the hospital talked to me, and we picked an admission date. A few hours later, my insurance company emailed me confirmation for a plane ticket. No joke. They are even giving me money for lunch during a short layover. I was massively stressing out about the costs of the plane ticket and they got me one. Window seats and everything.
I am now finishing packing and taking care of a few things before I leave…
I found someone to take over my contracts for the next month. (I run my own very small company.) I only work very part time, and she is actually probably 10x better at what I do.
I told 3 friends I have PTSD yesterday. I needed help with care for my cat and a ride to the airport and stuff. I felt like I was lying to say to these friends I was leaving on a month long sabbatical to deal with a personal health matter (which is what I told the clients I work for and etc.)
I have a couple of people I still haven’t told that I’m leaving that I have some commitments too. I am going to let them know today. I found people to take on the commitments who will do well with it all… I feel so bad all the same. I feel like I am letting everyone down.
I have a handful of messages in my inbox here, and if I don’t write back to anyone, I’m so sorry. I am running around a little frantic trying to pack and getting my dog squared away before I go. I may not get to any of them before I leave.
I’m finding it hard to trust my dog to someone else. I am not sure how she will do at a friend’s house, especially being alone all day. I decided to use the money I set aside for a plane ticket to pay to kennel her someplace where she can play with dogs all day, and not run off or destroy a friend’s furniture. Because of spring break, most boarding kennels are full. Most places get nervous if I mention she is a service dog (greater liability.) There is one kennel that has room that does fundraisers for PTSD service dogs for war vets. They were excited to take my dog. They seem pretty nice and have good dog correction techniques. My dog will be absolutely s p o i l e d there. They have big areas to play and they even have swimming pools – and give the dogs life vests to go swimming when it is warm enough. My dog got really excited on our short little “tour” just seeing the water. Labradors.
My therapist has told me a million times, without my expressing my HUGE fear that she will dump my case, "I want to check in with at least a couple of times when you are there" and "I will be here when you get back." Apparently, I needed to hear this because it is really reassuring. She even told the hospital and they are super supportive for me to have some times to talk to my therapist back home.
I think it will go ok. If it goes badly, my dog’s busy swimming days may be shortened and I will be back here soon.
Hopefully it goes really well. If so, I will be back to the forum in late April.
I will miss you all a lot. This place has saved my life. Probably more than once. Thank you to everyone for the encouragement and helping me get through this dark time and endure until I could get to the extra support I need to get back on track.
